Pictures, Pictures and More Pictures

Here are some pictures as promised in my last post. They're in reverse order because my blogger upload is being highly obnoxious today...










Know what else is obnoxious? Dry air. Really, really, really horribly dry air. I spent most of yesterday at work blind... or mostly blind, having had to pop out my contacts because everyone kept asking me if I had been crying. Clearly they don't know me that well...

For some reason, presumably dry air, I looked like that ad with the giant fake RED eyeball that they pour eye solution on and it magically turns clear again. Actually, I looked like TWO of those commercials... so of course, I ran out of class and got the drops, thinking it was a no brainer! Not so much luck with that -- I ended up at my eye doctor at 6:45 last night and heard more "hmmmm's" than I was really comfortable with. The upshot seemed to be that he didn't know the cause, but suspected dry air combined with my contact usage as a possible option. So, prescription eye drops four times a day in both eyes for 10 days, then another appointment and stern instructions to moisturize. Clearly a nice man, but a man who hasn't been in a not-so-new school building in a long time, therefore not realizing that the heat, when it is actually delivered, is of the dry variety. Like Arizona. Yippie.

I pushed it today and went to work even though I felt lousy. (I feel like that could also be the title to a memoir...) We're expecting a whopper of a storm tonight and I HAD to get my homeroom kids their Christmas ornaments in case we don't have school tomorrow. After my nose protested the dry air by gushing nasty stuff for 5 minutes resulting in my needing to dash out of class and stuff Kleenex up my nose oh-so-professionally, my eyes started stinging and I snapped at a few kids, so I thought better of it. I asked to leave and was granted... or maybe they just don't want their teachers looking high? I took a two hour nap this afternoon and that seems to have helped my mood, but I definitely could still audition for that eye drop commercial. So, I'm sitting in the office, lights off, monitor dimmed posting on my blog. I feel a little pathetic. But whatever, no one will yell at me for not posting! : )

Stupid gigantic Styrofoam eye, eat your heart out!
Carpe diem (in the dark... hmm, that sounds bad...) - Trela

I Know, I Know

Ok, I've only published about 10 percent of the comments I've received about my lack of posting... sorry!

Incredibly busy school year here. My classes continue to be challenging and my time seems to get less and less each time I glance at the clock. Ok, realistically, that IS what's happening, but it seems to do so at warp speed. I've been called out into meetings a lot recently and, as I well know, my students tend not to do well with subs, so I'm often left clearing up yesterday's mess and never quite getting a grip on tomorrow. Phew.

Otherwise, life is good. I managed to get Eric's clinics decorated for Christmas before the snow fell (which was November 30th, by the way). I have less than 12 inches of papers to grade (down from nearly 18, and it's only midterm). I actually know what I'm making for dinner tonight, as it's already marinating in the fridge (chicken tikka masala with basmati). I have very few Christmas things I need to make this year, short of a stocking which needs to be done this week, but is not a big deal, and an art table for the kids. Oh, and I need to paint Cavanaugh's doll bed. And make Eric's present. And find something for the dogs. And... you know what, never mind.

Had my 15 year high school reunion a couple of weeks ago -- super fun! Especially going with short dark hair! The girls all recognized me, but it was hysterical watching them skip a beat or two. As awesome as the reunion was, the best part of the weekend was getting to see my very favorite high school teacher for brunch the next morning. If I could have had a very slightly older sister, I'd have wanted it to be her. And yes, Jeanne, I'm working on thoughts for a book, just keep after me!

I know this is short and not nearly as exciting as normal, but I'm still at work and need to get cruising to get Kile soon. I promise I'll post pictures of Cara's wedding and the kids soon!

And no, facebook isn't taking over! I've hardly had time for that either!
: )
Carpe diem. Trela

A Shout Out to My Nurses / Rachel: 4 for 4

I guess it's an indicator of how strongly I feel about these women that every time I go into my Oncology office, I need to stop back by the chemo desk and say hi. Knowing that my "reward" for handling my testing is a visit with some of my favorite medical people ever is probably what gets me through.

So, to the rest of my readers, you're welcome to keep on readin', but this post is for them.

Ladies, I can only imagine how difficult your job is, and as a result, I'm sure you never get the praise and thanks you so truly deserve. Knowing you were there, fighting with me, cracking jokes, laughing at mine, remembering my kids' names, sharing parts of your life with me... it meant everything. It meant I was simply another person, not just a patient, and I know you're like that with everyone. It's all we cancer vixens want, and you understand that, probably better than we do.

Had our paths crossed differently, I'm sure we would have been friends.

Crossing as they did, you are my angels. I could not have done it without you.

And Rachel? You rock, girl. Keep those clean x-rays and ct's comin'!

I'm just determined to be one of your success stories.

All of my love, and piles and piles of respect,
Carpe diem. - Trela

Normal and Boring

Ok, I admit it, I was pouting. Someone posted a comment on my last blog that asked if hot dogs were really all I had to talk about, insinuating that my blog was trivial and unimportant. I hope this was a stranger, someone who doesn’t know me, hasn’t read my writing, and is someone that in person I could verbally annihilate. Clearly no one I know would say such a thing. To think that two years ago I was terrified I’d never be able to write something as “trivial” as a commentary on Chicago hot dogs again because I wouldn’t be here anymore is obviously something that goes without saying in my circle of friends. So, I pouted. Apologies to the devoted amongst you.

The school year is going. I'd say well here, because it's the correct part of speech, it being an adverb and all, but in truth, this year's been a bit tough. I'm teaching about 25 more kids than I have in the past few years, and I have one class (interestingly and thankfully enough my smallest) that is just a continual challenge. And I'm being nice there.

My new administration team is truly fantastic, zero complaints in that department, but let's face it, my job is never NOT stressful, and adding a bunch of difficult kids to a schedule that includes most classes over 25, well, it's been interesting. I've been blowing off steam three mornings a week at a gym and that's been helpful, if not tiring. Kile and Cavie are doing well, both are usually upset to see me at day's end. Eric is awesome, really. He just completed his first ever Olympic length triathlon this weekend and I couldn't be more proud of him. Not proud enough to join him, but proud. : )

Ian and his girlfriend, Aga, came to visit yesterday which was a treat. He lives in Poland these days so seeing him is a rarity. They're in the states for Cara's wedding this Friday, an event we're all looking forward to. Her dress is of course, beautiful (it is Cara, after all!) and the dresses we picked out together in the Twin Cities while I was doing radiation last year look amazing. Can't wait!

I have an appointment in Cedar Rapids tomorrow morning to have my chest x-ray, so hopefully that will go well. I hate even thinking about it, but I guess that's to be expected

Totally boring post, I know, but I wanted to let you know what was going on with me. Just don't post a comment saying, "really, that's all you have to talk about?" I'll smack you. Promise. : )

Carpe diem. - Trela

Playing Catch Up (Not Ketchup)

I know, I know. The good news is my darling friend Anita keeps me in check. Whenever it's been just a little tooooooo long in between posts she reminds me what I'm supposed to be doing in my five seconds of spare time. (Which reminds me -- Anita. Facebook. Seriously.)

So since my last post life has been slightly more hectic than normal, but that's like saying that today was 98 degrees instead of 96... really, what's the diff?

Eric and I took a mini break to Chicago (not related to this sentence, but so cute: Kile, upon first seeing the skyline on our drive in on 80 Friday night: "Look Cavanaugh! That's Chicago, it's Mommy's favorite because it's beautiful." Cavanaugh: "Ohhh, Kile, it's beuuuuuutiful!") for a summer wrap up/happy anniversary two weeks ago. We ditched, I mean carefully delivered, the two darlings to my parents so that we could enjoy a few Chicago evenings without our favorite tagalongs. We hung with Cara and Andrew, dined Cuban and something else which escapes me, ate turtle sundaes, played LOTS of Wii Bowling, enjoyed a superhero double feature at the Vic's Brew and View and slept as late as we wanted.

Tuesday we reclaimed our little people and headed into the heart of Chicago. Our first stop was at Marina City (also known as the corncob towers) to see the condo my parents are renovating. Following that, we hiked over to Millennium Park so Eric and the kids could see "The Bean." We then trooped over to the "spitting fountain" (which I'm sure has another name, but whatever, it's what it does) and played in the water for a while then headed back towards the Theater District (which Chicago didn't used to have, so I find it amusing) to the Broadway McDonald's. Clearly this was the highlight of the day! Actually, smart Mommy remembered there was an upstairs to this Micky D's, so we wandered up and spent nearly an hour reminding the kids to eat while they stared out the window at all of the traffic (and all of the flowers! Oh my goodness, I'm glad I don't have to pay taxes there, Mr. Daley, but wow, that city is beuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful!). We reclaimed our car, said a silent prayer for a happy trip on Lakeshore drive and went to the Zoo. I was super impressed with how much better the zoo looks than it used to (though what's up with the polar bear?) and the kids absolutely loved it. We spent a good two hours and saw just about everything, though we did bypass the farm animals because, really, what's the point for us?? I think the day's favorite were the giraffes, if only because we could get so close to them. (Though we did love the new kids' area even if we didn't stay long.)

We scampered back around the swan boat pond and beat the meter maid to our car (only about 2 minutes over, but still!), picked up my car at Cara and Andrew's place and headed onto the Kennedy. At 6pm. On a Tuesday. During summer (aka, construction season in Chicago). Unbelievably, it only took us 45 minutes to get to our next destination, and that included Eric totally missing his exit and me hightailing it on Touhy to catch and redirect him, no small feat in rush hour traffic. (And yes, Iowa pals, 45 minutes is truly amazing, no traditional Trela sarcasm there.)

My favorite part of arriving at our next destination was Kile's reaction: (yelling... REALLY yelling) "Hey! Mommy! Mom! Those hot dogs!!! You have pictures of them!!!" as if it were a surprise to me that first, Superdawg did in fact exist, secondly, that I knew how to get there and thirdly, that we were actually turning into the parking lot.

Now I sort of digress, because it factors in later: While we were in line some poor soul was attempting to order a dog for what I assumed was his elderly mother. He asked for a bun without poppy seeds on it, and lots of ketchup. Everyone else in the place looked at him as if he were from another planet and several customers and I exchanged looks. Eric seemed oblivious, which only foreshadowed the disaster yet to come.

In Chicago, hotdogs come two ways -- with peppers or without. It's a poppy seed bun. That's it. There are onions and mustard and relish, usually an unnatural green color. Anything red in color is either the hotdog itself or random tomato slices. Ketchup and these dogs do not mix. Every Chicagoan knows this. (If you don't believe me... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago-style_hot_dog and http://www.chicagohamburger.com/html/royko7.htm) Cavanaugh had half of her hotdog in her mouth before Eric took his first bite, mine was (obviously) already gone. Kile was protesting that he didn't like hot dogs, a flat out baldfaced lie. (Hence Eric being behind in the eating, because he was trying to reason with Kile... silly Eric.) It was a big moment for me, first time taking Eric to my old stomping grounds, first Chicago hot dogs for the kids, vague reminiscences of high school hot dogs, and bonding with my oncologist over those magical neon dogs in the sky. I stared at dear husband waiting for that first bite and outwardly cringed when he took the ketchup packet out of the bag (there are, after all some tourists in Chicago who clearly don't know the rules). I looked around panicked, thinking my cover might be blown, but fortunately no one saw him. I hissed at him, "at least TRY it before you put the ketchup on it!" and since it was my big moment, he obliged (Cavanaugh, at this point, was totally covered in mustard and mint-green relish, but she's still eating. Kile is eating a pickle which looks like a hot dog, so we were ignoring him for the moment). Eric took a few bites, redirected Kile, talked to Cavie a bit, all the while I was sitting there waiting for a verdict. I was nervous -- What's wrong with our non-hot dog devouring son? Did the combination of Iowa genes with a Chicago girl's genes cause a hot dog hatred complex in one of our children? (Kile continued eating the pickle and eying his dog warily.) Is there a Punnet square that can show me the dominance or recessiveness of the Chicago hot dog gene? Shouldn't the Hot Dog gene beat out a Sweet Corn gene? Why was none of this covered in my high school genetics class? I mean, Cavanaugh was clearly ok, but she also eats dog food so I wasn't putting much stock in her taste.

Finally, while my head swims with visions of all of the nature vs. nurture scenarios, Kile succumbs to hunger and takes a bite of the hot dog. He simply (and rather anticlimactically) declares it the best one he's ever had. (Ok, some prompting from his mother there.) But what of the husband? The life partner, the one to whom I have pledged my everything? The stress, the anxiety, the FEAR of not knowing his reaction to my first true love... Did I throw away 9 years of my life on a non-Chicagoan? Eric, clearly not sensing my angst, calmly continued eating the dog, sans ketchup, without a single reaction visible in his face. Just when I couldn't bear the suspense any longer, he turned to me and said, "Hmm. I think I like Nathan's Famous better."

I'm contemplating filing divorce papers next week.

Carpe diem. -- Trela

Horrid Cancer Humor

Whatever, I'm totally allowed to make cancer jokes.

Ok, so a friend of mine sent me a card, one of those nifty new ones that had a detachable magnet, which has been hanging on my fridge since early spring. It's a lovely quote by Maya Angelou -- "I can be changed by what happens to me. I refuse to be reduced by it."

Now clearly we all know my friend was sending me encouraging messages, not to get down about all of the medical issues, etc. However, I walked past it last night and cracked myself up... don't get reduced by it? Well then why the heck have I had two mastectomies??? Jeez. Doing this ALL wrong!!

Oh come on, it's funny.

Carpe diem -- Trela

X-Ray/Ct

Ok, take a deep breath people, I know I did. My oncology office called this week and they don't need to see me until August or September. Nice to know they're so worried about me! They also are just going to require a chest x-ray, so that's good on the radiation front! Radiation front. Ha.

Been a long day with the kids, can you tell?

That's really it! I'm currently involved in reorganizing my work room, so far I've also ripped up the floor, made new curtains (ok, should say, made curtains since there weren't any before), and painted (of course). I'm hoping this project is done by Monday or so, but let me know if you see a really cool comfy chair for it... in orange or gray would be fabulous....

Back to the paint!
: )
Carpe diem. - Trela

Mastectomy Bras are Trendy

Zipped up to Mayo today with Dad for a quick (literally, 10 minutes) appointment with my plastic surgeon from my mid-April surgery. She checked out my scars from the surgery, appeared impressed with my near-full range of motion, my attitude (I'm back painting walls in my house, so I must be fine), and started discussing plans for reconstruction after my one year clean bill of health (fingers crossed). My favorite part of the appointment came at the end when she told me to stop working out. She jokingly frowned at me for losing weight after my surgery (though not through any real effort, I think it was really just the last of the steroid puffiness, because I'm not down much on pounds). Because my reconstruction will involve using tissue from my tummy, it makes her job MUCH easier if she has a little tumm to deal with. She said, "you're skinny now, don't get skinnier." Ha. Love the woman. Seriously. We agreed the simplest thing for everyone involved is that I just shouldn't get cancer again. It's nice to have doctors on the same page that I am. : )

We have a call in with my Mayo oncologist to get the ball rolling again on my quarterly screenings -- I'm due next week if we stay on schedule, but we're not sure if he wants to delay a bit or not. Likely it will be a chest x-ray this time just to minimize the radiation as much as we can. Then I'll probably go back on the CT/x-ray routine for a few years... hopefully with no setbacks this time.

Since I was at Mayo anyway I stopped by the shop in the bottom of the Kahler that carries mastectomy bras and found out three things: 1. The fitters always hug you as you get ready to leave (2 for 2, anyway), 2. Awesome! I can get these in a strapless model! and 3. My pink cheetah print version will be here at the end of the month.

I'm going to have a milkshake.

: )
Carpe diem. - Trela

Ode to a Volvo

This summer my beloved Volvo and I began to approach the 200,000 mile mark together. I bought the car in 1999 when it was a baby, five years old, 30,000 miles. The near 170,000 miles we've put on since then only tell part of the rest of the journey.

-We've learned, together, that dear Volvo does much better in the Tennesee mountains when the air conditioning is not on while accelerating. (And in the process, we've learned that heavy cars dream to be more than 4 cylinders.)
-We've learned that spontaneous road trips to Myrtle Beach are fabulous, and that soft upholstered seats are very calming on severely sunburned skin.
-We've learned that not everyone appreciates the European color palette frequently chosen for the interior of cars (it's ok, Volvo, I like mustard yellow and caramel...)
-We've learned that the "ski panel" in the back of the trunk that allows the driver to transport any long item by simply pushing it through the trunk into the back seat never needed to carry skies, but did an awesome job with posters, window shades, two by fours and rugs. And provided a neat "peekaboo" spot when youngsters sat in the back seat.
-We've driven to St. Louis to see Eric countless times and discovered the very best gas stations to stop at along the way, even if it was because the driver, not the car, needed a fill up.
- We've discovered that it takes a really, really, really long time to fill a 20 gallon tank. But then you don't need to do it very often. (And I won't tell you how much it used to cost.)
-We've been in the ditch together three times (once, dramatically, after three 360's on an icy road in Missouri). And we were both fine.
-Together we headed the caravan moving most of my belongings (or at least what I didn't leave at my parents' house) to Missouri to follow some guy. (Good move, that.)
-We've parked in four different school parking lots, and together we've carried my classroom supplies, in ever increasing numbers, to new and different adventures and states.
-If it had a memory and voice (which I'm sure at this stage it probably does), Volvo would tell you what it's like to learn how to surf on a newly graded gravel road.
-It would remind you that the horrible knocking noise you hear was only that same darn gravel stuck in the wheel, that of course, caused no damage.
-It taught me how to artfully fishtail into rainy intersections because of it's challenging rear wheel drive that, likely, made me a better driver. (This is not the time to remind me of my earlier "we were in a ditch three times" comment.)
-It might even be able to tell you about a time when it's fabulous sound system cranked out more tunes than talk radio. Or Sesame Street.
-It would definitely tell you that no matter how far it moved from "home," Chicago's WGN 720 was always preset station #2 on the am dial.
-It could tell you how it made Eric jealous, if only because it's radio could reach St. Louis' KMOX, and hence, the Cardinals' games.
-It remembers when I listened to Cubs games (and it'll never tell that I still do...see 720 reference).
-It remembers what it's backseat looked like BEFORE it became cluttered with baby seats, booster seats, diaper bags and colorful sticky lumps I can only hope were once fruit snacks.
-It could talk about the things I've adorned it with -- the alumni sticker from my college gracing it's back window, blending so artfully with it's brake light. The stickers book ending my license plate, one bearing an image of a witch and the word "Salem," a souvenir from our honeymoon (and perhaps an indicator of the personality of the driver...), the other an "IRL" from our Ireland trip a few months before Kile was born.
- We've driven together in almost all of my adult life's descriptors: single gal, teacher, newlywed, pregnant gal (at which point Volvo tried it's very best to not hit me in the tummy with it's doors), mom, cancer patient, and survivor.
-It probably would skip over the part of our history in which it lived in the garage this winter, because another vehicle, this one with front wheel drive, was available. (Though I think it took it personally since it refused to start without a battery charge when I tried again this spring.)
-It couldn't tell you about all of the times it's been in the shop, because it wasn't.
-And the two times it died on me? Well, it kept me safe, and frankly, it had over 190,000 miles on it already, I can cut it some slack.

I don't know if we'll make it to 200,000 together or not, my Volvo and I. It's fuel pump seems to have other ideas, and I have another, newer car in the garage, but if it's at all possible, I'd like to think I owe it that much. No matter what happens, ultimately, I know my dear car knows that it's not about the destination... it's all about the journey.

Carpe diem. -- Trela

Quick Update

Keeping my ear on the news and dinner at the same time... wish I had a third ear to keep on the kids, but God didn't build me that way! Ha!

Ok, so fast update:
1. Went back to work for the last two weeks of school -- uneventful, fun, great kids, will seriously miss them.
2. Tornado hit Parkersburg, and outside of Dunkerton. We're fine, no issues, not even any broken branches, but we know people who lost everything.
3. Headed to Baltimore/DC for Cara's bridal shower -- minus the 22 hour flight delay (7 hours of which I was stuck at the airport in Detroit) it was a fun trip. More later.
4. Flood 2008 -- again, we're fine, but Waterloo, especially the downtown area is a mess. We've not yet heard if Kile's school has been impacted -- it's on the edge of the evacuation area, but his classroom is in the basement, so if any part of the school was affected, it was probably his! Our house is fine, clinics are both fine, phew.
5. Feeling good, reorganizing/sorting/evaluating the house to get my summer project list underway!
6. Sorry I haven't written!!!

: )
Carpe diem. Trela

Cabin Fever

In the last two weeks not much has changed medically. I'm now totally drainless and enjoying showering without having to hook tubes onto the shower curtain. I had a minor setback with some fluid collection under my arm, but good news/bad news, it found it's own way out, and the little hole in my skin it created is healing fine. It was less than a centimeter right at the edge of my incision and other than seriously freaking me out, it caused no damage. It was probably a good thing, because I'm sure I was doing too much and it reminded me to take a breath and slow down.

I've been able to drive again now that I'm off the Percocet. Withdrawl was a beast -- amusing since I'd only been on narcotics for two and a half weeks, but annoying when I got the creepy crawlies and couldn't sleep. It lasted about a week, and thank goodness is over now. I've switched to one Advil every 14 hours or so, and anticipate being totally off of any pain killers within the next two weeks.

Eric's mom has been ultra fabulous watching the kids since despite my energy levels being on the climb, I still can't pick them up or do many of the required "Mommy" tasks. So, since I'm totally alone all day, I'm starting to go more than a little crazy staring at my house. Eric and I are currently in the process of looking for a new car for me since my beloved Volvo that I've had for 7 years is truly on it's last legs. Doing research on another car has been taking a little of my time. I've also done a little bit of gardening (just planting some tiny annuals, nothing major), weeding, and painting (on canvas this time, not the house... though that might come soon). However, I think all of that is a short term solution to my cabin fever, and I'm practically aching to get back to work.

I actually just called my Mayo doc to see when I'd be released to school. My hope is she'll allow me to return just after Memorial Day so I still have a couple of weeks to rest (ha), but I also have enough time to say good bye to my 8th graders. Apparently they miss me and have sent notes my way. I miss the hustle and bustle and the mental stimulation -- probably since this is the third block of time I've missed this year it's more draining.

We spent last weekend in Milwaukee at my parents' house -- Mom and Dad had gotten Eric Cardinals tickets for his birthday, and as he said it, the game just happened to be played at Miller Park. Not such a good series for the Cards -- they lost the game, but Eric and Dad and Kile had a good time. The trip was fine for me -- we returned a car so I drove myself there, and even the four hour drive with Cavanaugh didn't wear me out too much. Of course, it was awesome to be able to sleep in knowing my parents would get the kids! I also got to look at wedding stuff with Cara and her ultra fab event coordinator. ALMOST makes me want to plan a wedding again. At least that would burn some energy!

That's pretty much the update! Thank you for all of the cards, emails and notes! The walk to the mailbox is one of the more exciting events of my day!

Carpe diem. -- Trela

What Some of You Want to Know (But No One Wants to Ask)

Ok, my queasy friends, this is one for you to skip!

The term "surgery" seems very descriptive for me, but I recognize that a lot of you are curious as to exactly what happened two and a half weeks ago and the aftermath....

I had what is called a litisimus flap procedure as part of a left chest wall resection.

In real people terms, here's what happened: my oncology surgeon cut out a large area of my left "breast" (since it's been all fake for nearly two years anyway). The implant, chest muscle, and all of the skin in that area were removed. Then my plastic surgeon came in and removed one of the small muscles from the left side of my back (and yes, they had to turn me over mid-surgery). That muscle was basically grafted into my chest (flipped BACK over at that point). Because the "defect" (the surgeons' words, not mine) was rather large, she then stretched some of the skin on the left side of my abdomen upwards, making a smaller hole to fill in the skin. Made my tummy feel a little numb on the left side for a few days, but that's subsiding. The remaining "hole" (my word!) was filled in with a skin transplant from my back. I'm not sure where exactly it came from, but it does have a freckle on it! Ha!

The aftermath: I have a diagonal scar on my back running from my spine along the rib line to the side of my abdomen -- it's about 11 inches long and will be visible at the top if I wear anything even remotely low cut in the back. Ditto the front -- on the left I have a scar that currently reminds me of a knot hole in a table. It's about 5 inches long and 2 or 3 inches wide. The upper corner of that will be visible if I put on a tank top or low v-neck shirt, and when the scar fades a bit, I'm sure I'll go back to my normal wardrobe. Currently I'm totally lopsided, of course, since the implant was removed, but I was fitted for a prosthetic yesterday that will just tuck in my bra -- and seriously, they sell mastectomy bras in leopard prints now, so other than the scar peeking out of the top, you'd never know! To move the muscle from back to front, I also have a scar under my left arm, and that one is the biggest issue right now. It's still a little bruised, still sore, and it prevents me from raising my arm more than halfway (which means I totally can't shave -- gross!). That's going to be slow coming back, but both of my plastic surgeons assure me it will happen. They're also very sure that I won't miss the muscle in my back, and the one in my chest is already "working" without pain. Just don't ask me to do a push up for a while...

So there you go! All the gory details!

I'm pretty much off of the narcotics now -- started regular sized doses of ibuprofen yesterday, and I'm two hours past my dose time today with no ill effects, so I'm taking that as a good sign. My Mayo appointment went well -- everything is healing fine, and another drain was removed. I'll likely have my last drain pulled on Monday (we hoped for Friday, but I think it's just going to be too soon), and then I head back up to Mayo for a follow up with my plastic surgeon in 6 weeks.

And hopefully sometime I'll get back to work! But for today, I Netflixed some movies, and that red couch is just calling my name!

Carpe diem -- Trela

You Know They're Really Your Friends If...

they spend a "fun-filled" Friday night helping to put together your two year old's new play kitchen. Thanks Kevin and Miq! Of course, now Cavie calls the thing "Quel's Kitchen" because in her mind, Miquel gave it to her. Just because Mommy spent years researching, tracking, eyeballing, watching the sales, doesn't mean baby knows where the present came from. Ah well, she loves it anyway...

So, yesterday was Cavanaugh's 2nd birthday! We spent the day with my sister taking the kids and I through the drive through at McDonalds for Apples (they still don't know about the "dippers" part, don't tell 'em!), taking me to my plastic surgeon to get a drain removed (yea!) (Side note -- he said my surgery wounds look great and that I should be really happy with them, I felt much better since I trust his opinion immensely), a trip to Target (at which point Mommy decided it was time for a nap), lunch that Grammie made, and then play time at Grammie's house so Mommy could get that nap! We had cake and ice cream after supper and Kevin and Miquel joined us for that.

I spent this morning vacuuming up the Styrofoam box from the play kitchen which my darling children discovered before Eric and I were awake. Totally slept through my 3am meds wake up call, so I was four hours behind on those, but since the pain didn't wake me up, I took that as a good thing!

The computer dizziness is getting better -- I can handle about half an hour now -- and as of yesterday I can actually read a book again, so that will help time to pass. I'm thinking I'll be on the major drugs through the end of next week, or until my last drain is out, whichever is sooner. Hopefully after that I'll feel well enough to be able to pop in at school a little and take Kile to preschool. Since I can't lift anything over 10 pounds and the 2nd anniversary of her birth appears not to have potty trained her, it will be a while before I can handle the kiddos on my own for more than a couple of hours. But, hey, we're getting there!

Kids and Eric have a birthday party in Cedar Rapids today (me too, but yesterday's doctor/Target excursion was enough to convince me that I'm not yet ready for major outings), so I'm planning an afternoon on the couch to catch up on my sleep. Ha.

Carpe Diem! -- Trela

Meds, Meal, TV, Nap, Repeat

So, life is exciting. Ha.

Periodically things get shaken up a bit by a visit from my kids (who are still staying at my in-laws since I can do absolutely nothing with them), a phone call, or a DVD, but beyond that, life is calmly routine.

I'm headed to my plastic surgeon at home tomorrow to get one of my three remaining drains removed which is rather inconsequential, but will be a step in the right direction. When they're all gone, I'll feel much better.

My strength is getting better -- I can sit up rather easily unlike the strange roll to the side, twist, violent shove with my right arm of earlier in the week.

My appetite is better, too, though I have a weird hour of nausea every morning between about 10:30 and 11:30. Today was better, Dad called and reminded me to premedicate at about 9:45, so we'll see if that helps again tomorrow.

I still spend most of the day on the couch with trips to the bathroom and to check my email every two hours or so... I could do more, but the scenery doesn't change much, so why burn the energy? Plus looking at the computer screen for too long does genuinely make me dizzy, so I need to ration myself because of that, too.

I took a walk outside several times yesterday and the day before, but today is rainy, so I think I'll content myself with wandering from the living room to the office. I picked up the kitchen a bit, but I can't open and load the dishwasher yet (a weird muscle combination, I think), and I might hang on to that "disability" for a while.... maybe Eric won't read this post....

Anyway, I'm down to the minimum in my pain killers, and I'm really not in much "owie" pain at all -- just if I do something stupid, which I'm doing pretty well at avoiding.

Just thought I'd post an update since people keep asking my friends and family, "How's she doing?" She's doing well!

: )
Carpe diem -- Trela

Daffy day.

No, the medication is not the only reason for the title. As we stepped out onto the very warm porch this morning, we saw that the spring flowers had begun to bloom, and interestingly, the only flowers in bloom were the ones directly in front of Trela's porch chair. We'll take that as a sign.

She wanted me to post the pictures. As you can see, she is looking great already, and she's getting pretty good at giving orders around the house :)



Carpe Diem,

Eric

No News Is Good News

I think my dear husband should be in the cliffhanger business... "Trela and I had said Monday morning that we just needed to get through the next 3 days with no bad news. So far, so good."

Those of you with any math ability may have noticed that it is now at least three days beyond Monday (6 by my count, but I'm an English teacher), and thank the Lord, we made it through. The worst thing to happen was me blowing 2 IV's within about 5 minutes (which didn't hurt, just was frustrating, especially when it took about a dozen sticks and two hours to get a new one started... and I was still on IV pain meds). Ok, really, the food wasn't great either, but I wasn't exactly on a cruise.

My ride home yesterday was decent (I even walked into Chipolte myself to order my lunch, which I informed them I'd be eating in a day, so I'd liked it packaged MY way), my evening short since I fell asleep on the couch (twice) after a visit with Grammie and the kids. They were really good -- knew not to touch Mommy too much, but I showed both of them my blown IV bruises on my arm in order to get the point home -- that's about the scariest thing they'll need to see to get them to leave me be! They're good at kissing my hands and hugging my feet! It was just good to see them!

Ready for a day of movie watching/snoozing, and though these pain meds are working much better in terms of both pain control and lucidity, I can tell I've been on the computer enough -- time to sign off and eat breakfast.

Have a good day!
Carpe diem -- Trela

So far so good.

A very early day for Trela started at 5:30 today. Check in was at 6 with surgery starting at 8:00 AM. 10 and 1/2 hours later she was finished and rolled into recovery, and just before 10pm, into her room. Unlike last time, she didn't look as if someone had punched her in the face. (last time one of the tubes had pressed her lip against the sharp portion of her teeth and she had a very swollen lip) and her foot didn't hurt.

Neither of the surgeons reported any complications, and based on what could be seen in the OR pathology, there was no sign of angiosarcoma anywhere, even right next to where the most recent recurrence was. Yea!

Trela and I had said Monday morning that we just needed to get through the next 3 days with no bad news. So far, so good.

Carpe Diem.

Eric

Mayo Day

Waiting to meet with the plastic surgeon (who will do the bulk of the work in tomorrow's 6 hour plus surgery), but just wanted to update -- my CT scan of my lungs was clean, as expected, but still a relief. Met with the oncology surgeon who did my mastectomy and will do the resection tomorrow, and that went fine. I've been cleared health wise to have surgery, so I guess it's on! I still have to see plastics, as I mentioned, and my actual oncologist, but my radiation oncologist was very pleased with my skin's healing thus far.

We report for surgery at about 5:45, the actual "procedure" will be about 8:30, take about 6 hours plus two hours in recovery. It's anticipated they'll make me stay 3-5 nights in the hospital, which puts me home Friday at the earliest! Longer than expected, but hey, they're the experts!

Carpe diem!--Trela

Crazy Busy

I guess my lack of posting within a week of my last entry is as good an indicator as any about how busy it's been recently. Here are the high points:

1. My first week back to school was uneventful, kids were good, teaching went well, almost like I hadn't left in terms of management and things, so that makes everything better.

2. Last Tuesday my staff held a benefit basketball game for me. The 8th grade teams (both boys and girls) played a team made up of teachers and staff for the building (AKA, Team Trela). It was a really fun game, staff won, but it was pretty close after 5 quarters. Yes, 5 quarters. At one point it was definitely 9 kids to 5 adults, but everyone was having a good time.

The story was broadcast on our local news station (mostly correct write up of it here: http://www.kwwl.com/News/index.php?ID=23289), and I was in the paper, though they said I was doing chemo, not radiation at Mayo (http://www.wcfcourier.com/articles/2008/03/31/news/metro/10223805.txt). In case I haven't said it enough, my staff ROCKS.

3. Parent/Teacher conferences went well! Saw a decent amount of parents, charmingly enough, many of whom just stopped in to see how I was doing. Nice to know that the kids actually MENTIONED that I was gone for 5 weeks...

4. Eric hired a new person to work the desk at his office, so I don't have to pinch hit while recovering from surgery, which is probably good for all parties involved.

5. Our Career Fair, which is on Wednesday, is starting to take shape. Every year I wonder why I schedule 25 speakers and 200+ students, and then I remember that I really like the functionality of our style better than the traditional, "ok kids, walk around the gym for 20 minutes, talk to the big people behind the tables, and meet me by the door" routine. Way time-consuming (I think I'm at about 15 hours thus far, and over half of the kids still need to be scheduled), but hey, I have 5 days!

6. The kids' bedrooms, which we've been redoing for about two months, are pretty much done. Eric built a cool little desk area in Kile's "spare" closet and I finished painting the dinosaurs on his wall. Cavie needs some shelves put up, but for the most part that's a project to cross of the To Do List. Took longer than I'd hoped, but I'll cut myself some slack since I did do five weeks of radiation in the middle of the redo!

7. Was able to make an appointment with my plastic surgeon here just to consult prior to my Mayo surgery on the 15th. Though originally we planned on doing the skin/muscle "patch" from my back, I'm now wondering if the tummy option might be better... my doc here said he'd probably want to do that anyway when I'm allowed to do reconstruction in a year or two (or sooner, we hope, but we'll see). I'm wondering now why I'd need to go through both procedures when one could do. Plus, then I wouldn't have back scarring that might be visible in Cara's bridesmaid's dress. Clearly that's the main issue. Hee hee. We'll see what happens. My c-section scar is there anyway, and I think they'd use the same one, so it might be easier this way. By easier I mean, well, not easier, but better? Jeez. Am I done with all of this soon?

8. Kile's parent teacher conference went well -- he's passed preschool and is going into Kindergarten next year, not that we were worried about that at all. They also said they'd take Cavanaugh when she turns two and a half, so that could be the fall. I told them they might change their mind when they meet her... we probably won't send her that soon, but it's an interesting option.

9. Overall, my mood is good, being busy helps me stay distracted, and frankly, I just can't get too worried about this surgery. (Saying this now, but knowing that a week from Sunday I'll be a nervous wreck...) I'm hoping I won't be out for the entire school year that remains, but we don't know yet. Ideally I'd only miss about two weeks, but I'm thinking it might be closer to a month.

10. Got an email from a friend yesterday, one of those forwards. It told me that if I sent the email to 7 other friends, I would see a miracle today. Ok, I admit, I deleted it without sending it out. However, I win. I saw today. Miracle enough.

Going to finish watching a movie that's taken me about 5 nights thus far. It's good, but I only get in about 25 minutes a night by the time I'm done with everything!

Carpe diem. -- Trela

Early Back to "Work"

Well, despite my attempts to have an "easy" week off after I finished treatment, things didn't quite work out that way! Eric had some front desk changes at one of the clinics, so the wife ended up pinch hitting for him three days last week. Hopefully I didn't mess things up TOO badly! It was a sudden change, but fortunately I was off on Spring Break so we were able to cover it! It was kind of fun, and I do like getting to know the clinic's patients a little better.

In other fun, last week I also got to take the written driver's test (my license expired in July, as a kind TSA agent pointed out to me at O'Hare while indicating the not-quite-but-almost-
strip-search section of security I was to report to). When the DMV matron took a look at my license and me, she rather naturally questioned my appearance change, and I rather naturally mentioned chemo. All expressions of everyone beyond the counter changed, and oh my gosh, the bad reputation the DMV has totally changed. So, so nice. They were trying to figure out how I could get out of taking the test via a doctor's excuse, looking at different options for me, all the while I'm thinking, "hey gals, it's cool, I studied for like two hours for this!" In the end I took my computer test in record time, passed no problem (between Cara and I were ok in a hydroplaning, skidding vehicle, but I don't recommend being in either with just one of us), and now have a driver's license that actually looks like me.

I wandered to Milwaukee with the kids Tuesday night and then took myself to Chicago early Wednesday morning to help Cara with some decorating at her place -- of which I am HUGELY jealous because it's beautiful. A nice evening with the sis and brother-in-law to be, and then Cara and I headed back to Milwaukee early Thursday morning. Andrew met us at the site of their reception where I was lucky enough to join them for their wedding menu tasting. Can't wait for October!

The rest of the week went quickly between work around the house and the holiday weekend. Our niece, Lauren, was baptized Easter Sunday, so we were in Des Moines for the day. Lauren, as always, was utterly charming, and any little squeaks she made during mass were more than drowned out by her cousin Cavanaugh!

I started back to work today, uneventfully, thank goodness. The kids seemed glad to see me (strangely enough my 7th graders were practically ecstatic, and I don't think they really like me very much...), and my classroom was in reasonably good order. I have a short teaching week this week because of conferences, then two more solid weeks of classes before my surgery. Starting to warm up here (and ok, Anita, that means it might be 50! No sandboxes for my kids yet!)

Carpe diem. - Trela

Spring in Iowa

Yes, Iowa! I'm home!

A few posts back I mentioned the drifting in our yard... from the two pictures of my kiddos you can see how bad it really got, and this was after almost a week of temperatures above freezing. Our road is currently threatening to flood, but the sun is shining, and the tulips are a good two inches above the ground. That is, the ground that the snow isn't still covering...

I got to ring the bell amid several of my Hope Lodge friends which was a nice ending to a relatively nice treatment. My side effects are minimal, the only one I really care about is the cancer beating effect anyway!

The weather here is nice, mid to upper 40's, not quite as nice as the mid 50's in Rochester yesterday, but a good start for mid-March. School here officially went on Spring Break at 2:35 today, so despite the fact that I have lots of work to do, I'm on vacation!

Good to be home...

Carpe diem. - Trela

22 Down, 3 to Go!

Happy Daffodil Day! Today is the American Cancer Society's annual Daffodil Day, a fundraiser for the ACS and a day brightener for all of us doing cancer battle. Last year I finished my chemo treatment right around Daffodil Day, so I guess it's appropriate that this is my last week for radiation as well! Lots of generous people anonymously fund bouquets of the pretty yellow teacups to give out to people going through treatment, and despite the organizers' frustrations that the flowers weren't open yet this year, that's how I prefer them. It's great fun to be able to set them in my sunny window and wait for them to open like magic!

Last week was uneventful on the treatment end, and I was only able to get to the middle school I'm volunteering at once because of my treatment schedule. So, no fun fractions to perk up the middle of last week, but my sister came to visit at the end of the week which really brightened up week 4. We traveled to the Twin Cities to shop, catch a movie, and make me try on 8,000 bridesmaid dresses. All's well that ends well, though, we did get a dress that she really likes (so do I!), and it was fun being the guinea pig.

I spent this weekend huddling on my couch with my mother in law and parents taking care of me (actually taking care of my kids, I was pretty self-sufficient, though whiney and vegged out on "Lost" reruns). No, not radiation side effects, I enjoyed what they're calling the "Rochester Bug." 102 fever, chills, cough, great fun, let me tell you! Eric had a meeting in Des Moines all weekend, so fortunately my parents had planned on coming in case I was dealing with radiation tiredness (so far so good there!). By Sunday evening I had perked up enough that I could again consider driving to Rochester on Monday, but I canceled a morning meeting after my temp started going up again after dinner. By 10am on Monday, all signs indicated a recovery, so I packed up and headed back to Minnesota for my last week.

I had a double up of treatments yesterday so that barring complications (like tornadoes, hurricanes or the like) I'll be finished on Friday and ringing the bell in the waiting room signifying I'm done with treatment. My skin is finally reacting the way we expected it would, but it's not painful or peeling at this point. Basically looks like a little heat rash, and they expect it to worsen for a few weeks after I finish treatment. Eric came to visit last night and will head home today, a short visit, but we were both pretty determined he'd get here once during my stay.

SNOW IS MELTING!
Carpe diem! - Trela

Something Fishy...

Forgot to put this on my last post... when I moved into the Hope Lodge, the bathroom was, to be kind, simply dreary. I needed to grab towels for myself anyway, and also bought a shower curtain and a few bath accessories to brighten things up a bit (gotta love the clearance aisle!). Anyway, my intention was to pass them along to someone else when I was finished, so if you're interested in them, let me know and I'll happily send them along totally free. They were worth the tiny investment just to lift my spirits for a few weeks. The shower curtain is a vinyl photo view of fish in an ocean, most of the fish less than three inches in size. It's primarily a dark blue. I also have a soap pump and soap dish (which I use to collect my jewelry) that weren't designed to go with it, but are also fish. I'm thinking it would all be best in a kid's bathroom or a college dorm bathroom. Anyway, let me know if you're interested and I can send you the links to see pictures of them.

: )
Carpe diem. - Trela

16 down, 9 to go!

My third week of treatment progressed smoothly. I'm starting to look like I have a slight sunburn, but it doesn't hurt and it's not very red at all. My techs and doctor seem pleased with my progress thus far! They'll double me up sometime this week or next in order to make up the Monday I missed with our blizzard at home.

I've been volunteering at a local middle school a few days a week when my schedule permits. It helps to fill the time! The teacher's first two classes of the day are sixth grade math, and those are the ones she needed help with. Fortunately the math teacher on my team in Iowa has taught me well for the last few years, so I'm confident in my "helping!" Still hate fractions, but at least now I'm good at them...

Last Friday I also had the opportunity to assist in judging the regional Science Fair. They have about 100 judges from all different careers, and no, I didn't have to judge anything too "sciency." My category was creative or original topics, and they gave me about 25 high school and middle school projects to choose from. My personal favorite was the high school girl who, herself a vegetarian, decided to see what would happen if she fed a Venus Fly Trap Boca Burgers instead of meat! Unfortunately for the plant, her hypothesis was correct.... no new vegetarian versions of the plant out there, but maybe making a hybrid will be her experiment next year...

I flew to Chicago last weekend and then headed up to Milwaukee while Eric and the kids drove there Friday night. Sunday we had tickets to take Kile to "The Lion King." I decided he was old enough for Broadway, and that this show would be a good choice since it's pretty much a more beautiful and artistic version of the movie he already knows. It wasn't quite as good a production as the one I saw in Chicago a few years ago (smaller stage, I think), but it was still well done. Midway through the first act he turned to me and said, "Mommy, I LOVE this!" Three points for the parents! Meanwhile, my parents took Cavanaugh to the Pfister Hotel for a fancy mac and cheese lunch followed by some strawberry ice cream. Pretty much as long as she's wearing her fancy patent leather shoes, she's happy! Such a girly girl!

Papers to grade, my grades are due next week, so I guess that means I need to get them in THIS week when I'm home!

Carpe diem. - Trela

9 Down, 16 to Go

You'll probably have noticed that my title indicates that I didn't quite get my weekly fill of "the beach" last week. The Waterloo area was hit with a major storm Sunday and Monday last week, and though our accumulation was only about 5 inches, the first inch was ice, and the whole thing was neatly topped off with a windstorm that drifted our road closed.

Now to my city readers, I know that sounds like a strange concept. How could a road drift completely closed? Suck it up, Trela, it couldn't have been that bad. Let me first remind you that when I look out of my windows I see fields and the few buildings behind our house. My neighbors are beyond the view from every window of our house. And why does that matter? Quite simply, in a wind/snow situation, there are no neighbors' homes to stop the snow. It blows. And blows. And blows. And lands where it wants, frequently on the road itself. It took Eric and his SUV two attempts to drive to work (only a few miles away) on Monday, and he eventually gave up until later in the day when the paved roads had been cleared. The Department of Transportation kept going back and forth about closing Highway 63, my route to Rochester, so at that point we decided to cancel Monday's appointment.

On Tuesday morning, our road still hadn't been touched by the county, and since Eric had gotten stuck on his way home Monday night, we decided I should stay put for the morning at least. Cancel another appointment! More snow was forcasted for Tuesday night, however, so Eric called his dad who came over, moving snow on the way. He cleared drifts enough that I was able to get down the road and out, and by the time I was 10 miles outside of Waterloo, the highway had improved to near-normal conditions. Of course, as soon as I hit the Minnesota state line, the snow started again, but I made it to Rochester in time to be squeezed in for a 3:30ish appointment to make up the morning one I'd missed.

On Wednesday morning, about the time I was being treated, we lost Eric's Uncle Joe, the man I'd sort of thought of as my partner in crime in this cancer battle. He was diagnosed about 5 months after me with stomach cancer, and though we knew for a little while that his journey was nearing an end, I, like so many other people who knew him, never really thought it would happen. His passing was harder for me than I thought it would be, but in the middle of his visitation on Sunday, I had a flash of an image in my head -- Joe sitting up there with my Aunt Mary, trying to talk her into trying his pasta while she insists he drinks a mug of her ridiculously hot tea. Italian and Irish, just a couple of angels in my corner.

Living Strong for you, Joe.
Carpe diem. - Trela

5 Down, 20 to Go

My first week in Rochester was pretty uneventful. The radiation is going fine, I guess, no real side effects yet, but the skin is a little bit darker in the area they're targeting, which we expect. All of the techs are really nice and seem refreshed to deal with a person who can have a normal, non-cancer related conversation.

A bunch of people have asked me what radiation is like, so here's my routine:

I leave Hope Lodge about 10 minutes before my appointment and walk a block east and 3/4 of a block south before getting to the Charleton Building. Depending on how cold it is, I either do, or do not obey traffic laws and the cute little countdown crosswalks that mark nearly every intersection of downtown Rochester. Yesterday my nose started to feel like cement, so I took the non-verbal advice of other pedestrians and crossed on the reds. There is a pedestrian subway I could use, but I'd still have to go outside to access it, so it's really not worth the time. There's also a shuttle, but at this stage in the game that seems ridiculous, though if I were wiped on chemo or something it would be more practical.

Anyway, after I trust my two little feet to get me to Charleton I go down a flight of stairs into the Desk R area. By the second day, the receptionist knew who I was, so now she exchanges morning pleasantries, gives me a pager and sends me on my way. I chill in the waiting room (actually, I thaw and read) for between 2 and 20 minutes (yesterday a machine was down, so I had a long wait) until my pager goes off. Gather my things, turn off the pager, return it to it's basket at the main desk, and hustle off down the hallway for Changing Room B. Top goes off, gown goes on (a gown clearly meant for some form of non-human GIGANTIC creature because I could usually wrap the thing around me two or three times). I hang in the dressing room area after locking my things in my individual changing room.

A tech comes to get me, and they walk me across the hall to Machine B. The room is huge, the size of a classroom, and there's buttons and monitors all over the place. Overhead is a large flat screen tv that shows video of various nature scenes -- flowers, oceans, mountains, hot air balloons. On a good day I get to see a new part of the video instead of something I've nearly fallen asleep to already. In the center of the room is "the machine," a long padded table backed by complicated looking machinery, a squarish type glass covered machine to one side, a circular one to the other. (The circular one casts the magical beams.) The gown I worked so hard to make fashionable is cast aside and replaced by a small cloth, small enough that if the gown actually fit me, the cloth would be far too tiny. I get on the table and put my head in the bean-bag like pillow that we formed to my upper body during my simulation. It ensures that I lay the same way each treatment. Arms over my head, right hand clasps back of left wrist, and my job is done.

Meanwhile, my flurry of techs (always at least two, sometimes three) strap my feet together and put a triangle pillow under my knees. Then the real fun starts! My tiny cloth is moved to reveal the non-cooperative side of my chest, and the techs are always super prim and proper about covering the right side. Because, you know, after all of this, I'm still exceptionally modest in front of medical personnel. Eye roll. They bring out the bollus, something I'm sure I've spelled wrong, which is a sheet of rubbery, lightly adhesive "stuff" that most closely resembles the material that gel insoles are made of. It's white, and about 12 by 18 inches. They put this on the side of my chest to be radiated and this becomes one tech's job. At the same time, the other tech alternates between staring at a green light on the ceiling and scootching my rear end millimeters to the left or right on the table. They check the photo of my arms to make sure I haven't forgotten how to hold my own hand They look at the lights from above and how they catch the four little tiny tattoos on my body to make sure that I'm lined up properly. I focus on this tech, because the other one, Bollus tech, is slamming the plasticy thing onto my chest and using masking tape to secure it, and me, to the table. This is the tech you don't want to tick off upon entering the room. I always smile nicest at her.

After I'm secured in case of any turbulence during my flight (ok, really its secured to make sure there's no air bubbles), the techs leave the room, and I'm left to enjoy video of flowers, raindrops, or whatever other natural majesty the video is cued to. A red light goes on near the doorway, a buzzing noise from the same monitor, and 20 seconds or so later (long enough to say the Our Father and half of the Hail Mary, I've timed it) Bollus tech re-emerges. She re tapes the thingy closer to the middle of my chest and leaves again. The red light/buzzer/time for prayer routine is repeated, and then the techs re-emerge, another person successfully radiated.

I've been in the room for less than five minutes and other than the cracked rib from Bollus tech (not really, I'm kidding), I've felt nothing. Tiny cloth thrown on the table, gown haphazardly put back on (because really, I know it's coming off again in about 30 seconds), one last longing look at the screen above and it's tropical flowers that I know I will not see on my walk back to my "house," and I'm off to change back into my clothes. Lotion applied as per my nurse's orders to prevent excess drying of my skin (uh huh), shirt and coat back on, smiles for the terrified-looking senior wearing an equally large gown standing in the hall, and I'm outta there.

Breakneck speed back down the hall towards reception, a mini-stop at the scheduler's window to get the next appointment set, and that's it. On a good day, elapsed time, 14 minutes. Now I only have 23 hours and 46 minutes to fill...

More on that next week!
Carpe diem (all 24 hours of it)!
Trela

Radiation Vacation

All set at the Hope Lodge in Rochester (where you can send me mail if you'd like -- 411 2nd Street NW Rochester, MN 55901). The place is HUGE and super friendly. They force the "community" a bit, potlucks every Tuesday, and no cable in the bedrooms to force you out into the lounges, of which there are many! There's a library, computer room, exercise room, pool table, and more! I think I'll be cool there for a while!

My two radiation treatments so far have gone fine. In fact, I didn't even realize they'd radiated the first time because they told me they'd be doing x-rays. I waited for the three of those, and then when they held out my gown I was momentarily confused. Apparently they did the "zapping" in between x-rays. I have to wear a piece of plastic-y stuff on my chest during the radiation -- it feels a little like a sticky gel insole for your shoes, and that's been the staff's biggest frustration. Today they literally taped it down around me on the table so there wasn't as much air in between it and the skin. It's target is to focus the beams more on the skin, which my doctor today reminded me would probably be the worst part of the experience. She doesn't expect the tiredness to really hit me until my 3rd week, so that's a good thing.

I've spent the day checking into Hope Lodge, having lunch with Dad (who leaves tomorrow), grocery shopping (I get a shelf on the fridge in the Lodge), and organizing the papers I need to grade. Not actually grading them, but I have to start somewhere. Now they're all in neat little piles on the unused twin bed in my room. Maybe tomorrow...

So far so good!
: )
Carpe diem. - Trela

Defying Gravity... Literally

Ok, first off, this was NOT my idea. I asked some friends at work to take a couple pictures of me with my homeroom, and they did... then this happened! The kids, of course, seemed all for it. It was far too early in the morning for me to argue, and I was wearing my "defy gravity" shirts, so really, how could I say no?

Gotta love my homeroom this year! I've been fortunate with a fantastic group of kids two years in a row -- wouldn't you know it, the two years that I had to take extended "vacations." These thirteen kiddos were the first group I told this past Monday what was going on with me, and they were incredible. As I told my Language Arts classes later throughout the day, it never failed that one or two of my homeroom kids, who already knew my news, quieted down the rest of the class so they'd be super attentive.

Eric's headed to the Quad Cities for a seminar all weekend long, but my parents are coming tomorrow, so I won't have to deal with my sick kids all by myself! Their timing is fabulous, let me tell you! I'm spending the weekend grading tons of papers (midterm grades due Monday) and creating fabulously entertaining lesson plans for next week. And packing...

My dad is coming with me for a couple of days to Rochester and we'll leave around noon on Monday in order to be on time for my 3:30 appointment. I'm really not too nervous about it -- I think the scary news already happened and now this is just the next step.

Thanks for all of the thoughts, prayers, and Rochester restaurant suggestions!
Carpe Diem - Trela

Another Good Thing About Cancer...

You get to see people that you haven't seen in YEARS! A good friend of mine from high school was "in the area" this weekend (it's Iowa... it's relative) and came by with her family to say hello! They live in the Chicago area, so we're not super close for visits, but it's still nice to know my support structure is out there! It's too bad they're not closer, Kile is already complaining about missing his new friends and they only left an hour ago!

I'm finishing up some things around the house this weekend, getting ready for a week of work and planning on leaving the morning of the 11th for Rochester. I've been in touch with the Hope Lodge up there, and hopefully won't have to wait too long for a space to live.

Not much else to report!

: )
Carpe Diem. - Trela

Mayo Part 2

All things considered, my Mayo trip went relatively well. No new cancer discovered, numerous ultrasounds/ mammograms/ MRIs/ CTs to rule out anything else suspicious... So, where does that leave us?

I'll be beginning a five week course of radiation on February 11th at Mayo in Rochester. My radiation oncologist (a new one... bonded with her MUCH better than the first one of a year and a half ago) decided giving me a week and a few days to organize my house and classroom wasn't going to impact treatment at all, so I have a little extra time. I'll be in treatment about 15 minutes a day, five days a week, and will hopefully feel well enough to drive home on weekends.

After my radiation course I'll take another break of anywhere between 3 and 6 weeks before surgery. Exactly what that consists of gets a little gory, but the basics are that they'll take a 5 centimeter area of tissue which they'll need to replace with something... apparently that'll be tissue from my back. The good news is I don't have enough tissue on my tummy to allow them to do a TRAM flap, so they'll do the back procedure instead. Yum. Can't wait. Sarcasm overflowing. Apparently it's supposed to be less painful, but we'll see.

So anyway, that's the news for now! We'll spend the next week organizing our lives, trying to figure out Kile's school schedule so he doesn't have to miss school while I'm living up North, and writing copious amounts of lesson plans!

Thank you for all of the positive energy and prayers. We truly did get the best possible news this week considering the options, and I look forward to beating this once and for all. All we learned with this latest setback is that my race is a marathon, not a sprint. (Which is good, I haven't been very fast since about 4th grade anyway...)

Carpe diem.
Trela

Mayo Part 1

First things first, the initial reports are that my cancer has NOT spread. They're ordering an ultrasound to check out a "funny" thing on the other side of my chest, but my oncologist pretty much said he's not worried about it. I am, of course, but it seems these days I always need something to worry about.

We'll meet with my oncologist, a surgeon (actually the one who did my mastectomy), and a radiation oncologist tomorrow so they can bicker about what to do next. Surgery is a definite, likely radiation as well, but we'll see.

As Dr. O said, in the grand scheme of things, this isn't bad news. The tumor was literally on my mastectomy scar, so he agrees with our theory that it's likely leftover cells from a year and a half ago. He said local recurrance, but then practically downgraded that further to still being a tumor from the primary cancer. A fine line, I'm sure, but hey, if it makes a difference, we'll take it!

Off to the chapel...

Oh, midway through my appointment while my oncologist was on the phone to radiation, I got a text from the student I've been tutoring for the last 4 years -- he got into college!!!! I'm SO happy for him! Way to go, Kevin!

Carpe diem!! - Trela

Mayo Appointments Set

Next Wednesday I start appointments at 6:20 in the MORNING (which I tried not to look at with a sense of foreboding since I'm not at all a morning person). We do the scans (MRI and CT) in the morning, meet with my oncologist at 4:30 (by which point he'll presumably have read the scans), and then see a surgical oncologist Thursday morning. Beyond that is anyone's guess, obviously depending a great deal on what the scans do (hopefully do NOT) reveal.

I'm working up through Tuesday because sitting at home seems rather pointless. Apparently my positive energy befuddles many people but I still don't understand the point of wallowing. Am I scared? Of course, I'm terrified! However, whether I'm fine or not, I don't think spending days a witchy, irritated, angry, depressed mess is going to cure cancer (but let me know if you read any research otherwise... I can change! Ha!)

Eric and I spent all of last weekend burning nervous energy by moving our bedroom into the basement bedroom (which I've been working on for a few months), and then moving Kile into our old room. Of course, lots of gallons of paint again, but if you know that side of me, you already know that Eric kids me about my monthly paint budget. I had intended on my next post simply being a "look what I did to my house" blog, but life doesn't always work out that way. Regardless, since I'm totally determined to not become derailed, here's some photos of what we've done:

Here's what our basement bedroom used to look like:













And here's now:


And here's our old room... and it's new touches from Kile...











My Mom thinks maybe this weekend I'll paint the garage... maybe, if it weren't 10 below zero!

Carpe diem. - Trela