2 Down, 3 to Go

It's official! I am two years cancer free! By all accounts, five years is the magical number, but I'm well on my way!

Eric and I are celebrating by doing nothing and watching a movie so this is perhaps my shortest post on record. Just wanted to update!

Carpe diem.

Trela

Yuck.

CT tomorrow.

Always an icky nerve-wracked time, though to compound the issue this quarter, one of Eric's cousins who was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after my diagnosis passed away this weekend.... just kind of makes you a little more reflective. I refuse to have the what's fair/what's not fair conversation with myself (though my subconscious tries valiantly to have that conversation regardless) -- it still weighs on my mind. Heavily.

I have no actual physical reason to be more freaked out by this CT than by any other, but the reality is the freaking has been there for nearly a week. It's illogical, I know that. 90 % of my current freaking has absolutely nothing to do with my own health, but the lost health of someone I did not even know. In 12 hours, I will either be MORE freaked out or completely calm. It's frustrating. And it's not fair.

But I'm here. And I desperately want to STAY here... though that doesn't make balancing this week's survivor's guilt any easier.

Cancer sucks. Seriously. Sometimes I think the mental is worse than the physical.

Aren't you glad you tuned in for an update? Hope tomorrow's is better (and truly, no reason to think it won't be...knock on wood)

Carpe diem.

Trela