Thomas!

Eric and I took Kile and Cavanaugh to see Thomas the train at a train station about 100 miles away from us the weekend before last. We didn't tell Kile what was happening, and kept talking about a "surprise" he'd have on Saturday if he was good. I wish I had a surprise every weekend to keep him so well behaved! His face upon arrival was priceless! We walked to the train yard and he finally saw Thomas. He turned, looked at us, and said, "Mommy! Did you know Thomas is here?????" Ahh, the innocence of youth. (And yes, I managed to keep sarcasm out of my response... I tend to save that for the 14 year olds, they're better equipped.)

Cavanaugh enjoyed the day, but sitting in the car for two hours only to get on a train and sit for another 25 minutes was not her idea of a good time. Eating "ticken!" (aka, McDonald's chicken nuggets) in the car on the way home was probably her highlight, though she does perk up a little bit more now when the trains go by our house.



Since the train we dealt with a week of missed preschool and crabby nights because of that darn cold going around. We seem to have beaten it for now, and who'd have thunk it? I'm the only one in the family who never seemed to suffer any ill effects. Irony, gotta love it. My student teacher now has a mere 9 days left with me... I have no idea how I'm going to actually find time to teach again, but I'm bringing myself back on board slowly by grading papers at night again. Eric's busy as ever at work and we've figured we spend about three conscious hours together every week night. Except tonight when he's seeing a patient late. And Wednesday when I have to tutor. And Thursday when I have a Site Council meeting. Pretty sure there's something Tuesday I'm forgetting....

Carpe diem. - Trela

The Healing Field

As we approach the 9/11 anniversary and my lesson plans again turn to themes of patriotism and remembrance, it was good to be able to once again have a Healing Field to visit. The National Exchange Club, of which Eric is a member, has done this field twice in Waterloo now. There are about 1,000 flags, all tied with yellow ribbons, set up in a memorial park in downtown Waterloo. My 8th graders helped to put the flags out the last time we did this (about three years ago I think), and one of those flags stands in my classroom now as a fabulous hands on teaching tool. I noticed today that while my flag from a few years ago has the name of just one fallen soldier on it, those flying now have three or four.

The Healing Field concept is a beautiful one, and I'd urge you to go and see one if you're nearby a town that's doing it. They're year round now, not just around Patriot Day. It's really an awesome sight. The kids obviously loved it, and it was a great (finally not hot) day for us to visit.

Beyond our weekend activities, life is going pretty smoothly in the Rottinghaus house.
- School is going well (helps that I have a student teacher that ROCKS, even if he doesn't think so).
- Eric's busy busy busy, and
- Kile cries when I pick him up from preschool because he doesn't want to leave.
- I spent my Labor Day weekend helping my sister complete the move in at her new place in Chicago, and I ALMOST miss living in a city. Almost.
- Cara's boyfriend's sister seemed to have little difficulty with her first chemo treatment last week, so thanks for all of the extra prayers. I know she was appreciative.
- The Cardinals are hanging in there, which is good for us if only because it makes Eric a lot easier to live with... and it makes me highly knowledgeable in tormenting my Cub-loving co-workers. (I know, I'm a horrible tease, but I only do it when the Cubs are doing well, it's no fun to pick on 'em when they're down, which hasn't been very much recently!)
- My next surgery will likely be in mid-November as my band-aid owie of last May has finally healed itself. We've decided we don't need any more expansions (actually I think Dr. B. just doesn't want to mess with me anymore) so my next appointment won't be until before the surgery itself.
- And Cavanaugh (Cav, Vanna, Cavie depending on the mood and who it is talking to her) is growing in leaps and bounds, 2 inches since her birthday in late April, and I'm pretty sure all of that was since the beginning of August. She's talking all of the time and starting to string little sentences together most of the time. And yes. She's still a diva.

Too much info in there to string together neatly, so I apologize for the lack of fluency. It happens!

Carpe diem. -- Trela

Rachel Wins Again!

Rachel, for those of you not in the names and faces of Oncology loop, is my radiology tech in Cedar Rapids. So far she's 3 for 3, 2 ct's and 1 x-ray all turning out in my favor. My oncologist himself has gotten a lot smarter since he first met me, today walking into the room while saying "your CT was fine" instead of beginning with his usual pleasantries. Have to love the man...

We're going to continue on our three month schedule, next will be a chest x-ray in November. He wanted to do a mammogram (which for me means MRI) by then, but it won't happen until after my next surgery because my expander has a metal disk in it. Magnets, metal, bad combo... After we whip that out to replace it with silicone they'll be able to do the MRI. Just protocol there, nothing new to worry about.

So, since my weekend will usher me into three months of medical peace, I'm off to work at school for an hour before helping to freeze corn this afternoon.

If you're in the area, Eric's open house at the Waterloo clinic (Falls Avenue Chiropractic) is this Wednesday, so drop me a line if you're interested in going! Or, just drop by between 4:30 and 7. We've only been there a few months, but we're very pleased with the look of the place, so check us out if you have a chance. Be sure to tell him how much you love the spine that took me 8 hours to paint...

Thanks again for all of the thoughts and prayers, and please direct some of those to my sister's one day sister-in-law who begins her chemotherapy for breast cancer in the next few weeks. Heather and I have never met, but the emails have been flying between us since we connected immediately with two post pregnancy diagnoses. Gotta wonder what we're doing to our world...

Carpe diem. - Trela

Technical Difficulties

So about two hours after my oncology office called this morning to confirm my Wednesday appointment, they called again to reschedule. Apparently there have been difficulties with the CT machine, so they have moved me to Friday morning. Yippy skippy! Just when I had almost mentally prepared myself to go, but what can you do? Thought I should let everyone in cyber world know so that no one was wondering why my latest exam results weren't posted yet....

Thanks for all of the thoughts and prayers... keep 'em coming!

Carpe diem -- Trela

Wedding Weekend!

I know, it's Tuesday. It took til now for me to actually pull my brain back together... what a long, exciting weekend! The wedding was beautiful and my children were darling. Thank GOD my parents brought them so that Eric and I, both in the wedding party, didn't have to smile and look glamerous AND wipe Cheerios from little faces at the same time.

Today's birthday #32 for me, we're going out to celebrate tonight, and then tomorrow I hit the school stuff hard! And of course, Muggles, it's also Harry Potter's 18th birthday... not sure what he's doing to celebrate. After 13 hours of my nose in the book, I've been finished with the series for over a week now!

Enjoy the last weeks of summer! Man, it's muggy here!
Carpe diem - Trela

In the Full Swing of Summer

Yikes! I knew it had been a while since I posted last -- didn't realize it had been THAT long! Sorry! I'll try not to let it happen again....

School has been finished for me since the first week of June. In that time lots of things have happened:
- Kile turned 4
- Cavanaugh began walking
- Cavanaugh began running
-I redecorated the basement (mostly)
- my dad planted a 14 foot tree in our front yard with Rick's help, and the phone line mangaged to survive
- my parents came to visit
- Adam came home from the Carolinas to visit
- my sister bought a condo (yea! a new project for me to help decorate!)
- I got a tan that's just NOT going to look good in the bridesmaid's dress I need to wear in three weeks
- I gardened
- I gardened some more
- and yes, more gardening
- I only went to the doctor's office three times - it was routine and with the plastic surgeon
- I finished decorating Eric's new office for now and we opened the doors

It's been a busy 5 weeks since the last post! In the weeks ahead it only promises to get busier! We're hosting a shower here this coming weekend, RAGBRAI the week after that, a wedding the next weekend, visiting Chicago and Milwaukee, a couple of plastic surgeon appointments for more expansions, and a CT scan in mid- August. Phew! I think I'm going to be more tired at the end of summer than I was at the beginning! Welcome to Summer!

Hope everything is going well for all of you!
Carpe diem - Trela

Nothing but Big Changes!

Chest x-ray at the oncology office in Cedar Rapids on Wednesday revealed exactly what we wanted it to -- NOTHING! My next appointment there will be in mid-August for a CT, continuing my quarterly checks. It was actually sort of nice to see the people who took such good care of me for 6 months this year -- I kinda miss them!

Today I have another appointment at the surgeon's office to check on the surgery and do another expansion. Hopefully we'll have only two more of those after today.

Now that the secret's pretty much out, Eric will be moving his Waterloo practice to another location in the next two weeks. It's been a rush to get everything done, since we started working on this the week of my surgery (a good distraction to my medical stuff!), but we're feeling good about it. He'll be opening his doors on Falls Avenue, a block down from Rudy's Tacos. We need to paint the entire clinic (about 1600 square feet) by Tuesday so they can install the carpet, so if your Memorial Day plans aren't set, feel free to call and join us! We're not changing anything at the practice in Jesup, so as of a month from now, Eric will be the proud owner of two practices! One of the doctors at his current practice will be joining him in Waterloo, and we have hopes to add several massage therapists to the staff. Check us out soon!

We are still on the market for a nanny or daycare for two days a week this summer. They're REALLY cute kids! : )

Carpe diem. - Trela

LIVESTRONG at Logan

Here's some members of my school staff yesterday. We're all wearing yellow (or yellow ties!) for Livestrong Day. It was really cool to walk around the building yesterday and see so much support. There have been a lot of us affected either directly, like me, or indirectly from cancer. As I go through the process people keep asking about my support structure. Well folks, there's a big part of it right there!

Didn't get a chance to take a picture of the immediate fam yesterday, even Cavanaugh sported yellow-trimmed socks!

I'm healing fantastically from surgery. I've gotten one expansion so far, and it caused zero pain, no tylenol needed. Next week I'll have expansion #2 and if I can continue at this rate, I could be ready for surgery by August (although clearly that won't work with my teaching schedule and the fact that I have a student teacher scheduled to begin right at the start of the year!). On Wednesday of next week I also have a chest x-ray to check out my lungs... monitor, monitor! Hopefully that will be clear and then I'll have most of the summer with no worries.

Carpe diem. - Trela

Home Life

Happy Birthday Miss Cavanaugh! Practically since birth Kile has assured us that Cav's favorite color is orange, so an orange cake it is! Pretty sure she never ate dinner Wednesday night, but ah well, you're only 1 once.

I've spent the week recovering from surgery, which thus far hasn't been terribly difficult at all. I'm completely off any type of pain killer, including the milder non-prescription sort, and unless I do stupid things (i.e., slamming car doors or picking up children) I don't really notice any muscle aches at all. My parents were here for the beginning of the week to help out (read, do laundry), but Mom had to leave Tuesday to be ready for work on Wednesday. Dad's been holding down the fort since she left, and Eric stops by now and then...

My appointment on Wednesday at Mayo revealed nothing new other than confirmation that my CT of late February/early March was in fact clear. My doctor feels comfortable leaving me in the hands of my Cedar Rapids doctor since they have a good working relationship and so we don't have to keep making trips north. Next major medical appointment from an oncology standpoint is a chest x-ray at the end of May. We'll probably alternate between x-rays and CT's every three months for a while.

Meeting with my plastic surgeon on Thursday was also uneventful. They removed the drain from my surgery (yea!) and got rid of any extra gauze I don't need. Everything seems to be healing well (lack of pain being a great indication of that), and I'll see him again in two weeks. He and I already agree that everything looks better than it did before surgery, and we haven't even started the expansions yet. Hopefully that will be at my next appointment so we can be finished with that by mid-summer.

Other than that, not much going on at home. Eric's still really busy at work, something we only see increasing in the weeks and months ahead. You could stop him to ask him about it, but he might not have time to tell you!

Starting to plan for summer, if you know of anyone interested in watching the li'l ones a day or two a week, let me know! I'm completely flexible on days, I just know I need to do a better job taking care of myself this summer.

Carpe diem. - Trela

Out of Surgery

Ok, actually I've been out of surgery since about 10:30 on Friday, but I couldn't think of a more clever post title. I also can't think of anything very clever to say. Clearly I'm up and about enough to be typing rather coherently, though that's probably the extent of my lucid thoughts at this point. Surgery went well according to my doctor, and I woke from the sleeping meds about an hour after he finished. By 5pm I was ready to head home despite the fact that Eric and I had discussed my staying overnight (those hospital beds just are NOT comfortable). I slept most of the last two days and dealt with a little nausea/dizziness, but I'm off the pain killers today and most of those symptoms have disappeared. I'm a bit sore, but nothing a little ibuprofen can't handle. I've spent almost no time in bed today, even ventured outside to check my garden, but I'm starting to feel tired now and will probably spend the afternoon curled up on the couch catching up on pointless television.

Eric's been ridiculously busy at work these days, but I can honestly say that should be an entirely different blog!
: )
Carpe diem. - Trela

I Must Have Been Ugly

Forgive me if I've posted on this topic before... I keep meaning to, and my short term memory still isn't quite up to par...

One of the more humorous regular occurrences of this ordeal is the sheer volume of people who find it necessary, sometimes on a near daily basis, to compliment my appearance. The school nurse in the hallway, the substitute teacher working with me yesterday, friends we haven't seen in a couple of weeks... all of them utter my new favorite phrase, "Wow, you look really good!" I have gotten so practiced at receiving the comment, I can practically see it coming out of people's mouths before they know they're going to utter it. There's always a slow pause, the inevitable head to toe glance over, a brief hesitation, then it blurts out and is almost immediately followed by a sometimes not-so-subtle cringe. Some people are rather dramatic.

At first I didn't think much of it, took the compliments, ran with them. Now that this has been going on for six months or so, I must say it's making me a bit uneasy. Lately I hear the favored phrase and add a parenthetical thought at the end "(because you were hideous before.)" Realistically, I know this isn't the case, but I'm hearing things so often, I can't help but hear the thought bubbles I imagine emerging above people's heads. The sheer level of shock and surprise uttered by these well-meaning folks is probably the stimulus of my brain's chemical reaction to their phrases, but I've never been one to curtail my mind's wild tangents (100 of you just rolled your eyes all too knowingly). The last times I received this many compliments were in the days following the births of my kids (and yeah, we all know people lie to you then) and on my wedding day (Eric said I was gorgeous, and frankly, that's all that mattered... though now I'm wondering if he was lying then too....) Is this new found attractiveness a chemo side effect? I think not. I just must have been uglier before... clearly that's the only rational explanation.

Anyway, the good news is this has given me the perfect title for a book, if I ever write one. It needs a little tweaking (and probably a subtitle or parenthesis because otherwise it's just not me), but I think Before Cancer I Was Ugly would definitely stand out on a bookshelf.

By the way, I look really good today.

Carpe diem (and look good doing it). - Trela

By the Way...

I had a head cold last week.

I didn't miss any work because of it.

Said head cold is now gone . . . less than a week later.

In light of recent events, small triumphs of my immune system deserve notice. Or a cookie. Either way, really.

Must be the yoga.

Carpe diem. -- Trela
P.S. New definition of irony -- my mom bought me a bottle of red wine from the Firepeak Vinyard -- it's called "Carpe Diem." Eric and I are saving it (think about it, think about it...).

Moving Forward

Had my first post-chemo appointment with a plastic surgeon this week. The good news is he's likable, thorough, and professional. The bad news is he sees a need to redo my temporary expander. Apparently the one that was put in at my surgery in July has shifted, and it hasn't done a good enough job. What that means in the short term is that the surgery I had hoped would be my last will in fact be my second-to-last. They'll replace this expander with another one and I'll go through the expansion process again all this summer and into the fall. Hopefully I'll get the real deal placed late fall/early winter.

Because Eric and I are going to try to ride in Ragbrai and we're in a wedding that same week in July, time was of the essence. As a result, I'm going in for surgery on the 20th, just under two weeks away. I won't be able to exercise for 6 weeks, hence the need to get surgery done so I can get back on the bike as soon as possible. It means another week of missed work, but fortunately my Mayo appointment with my oncologist also falls in that week, so I won't miss yet another day. I won't be allowed to lift anything heavier than 10 pounds for a month, so that will prove interesting with Cavanaugh. I'm sure if I explain it to her she'll understand...

Happy Easter!
Carpe diem -- Trela

Vegas, Baby

Here I am with the new do! This is in the Wynn, which seemed to be competing with the Bellagio for a botanical display while we were there. (I think the Bellagio wins, hands down, granted I loved these floral balls.) Eric and I had an AMAZING time in Las Vegas for our Spring Break. Won a little, lost a little (I did better on penny slots than he did playing cards), saw "O" from Cirque du Soleil, walked a TON, and relaxed by the pool. I was pretty happy with my energy level (we were a little worried because my second to last chemo had made me pretty tired the four to five days following it, but I think I was just getting over that flu), I really had no trouble keeping up walking around, and let's face it, I'm always in bed by 11 anyway.

We also got to see my friend Lisa and her husband. She's a frequent poster to the blog, so it was nice to see them again after about 15 years. Above is a picture of us at dinner. It was good to see "real" people while we were in Vegas... you kind of expect the plastic and neon, but to spend time with people who are pretty much like you makes it all feel a little more grounded. Our hotel helped with that, too. It was associated with the MGM Grand, but didn't have a casino itself. It was great to be able to leave all of that noise and smoke and craziness behind... kind of an oasis in the chaos. Loved the chaos, but it was awesome to leave it behind when we wanted.

Anyway, life has been busy since our return -- Eric got the flu on our flight back so we stayed in Milwaukee an extra day. He was pretty down and out the last few days of my "break," so I didn't get too much more relaxing done.

Kile and Cavanaugh were in their babysitters' wedding on St. Patrick's day. We had a few tense moments when both of them burst into tears and screams when it was time for pictures before the ceremony, but everything was fine for the wedding itself. Kile was a trooper, put on his Hollywood smile and walked down the aisle pulling Cavanaugh in a wagon behind him. Nathan and Betsy were pleased, and that's the most important part!

We heard excellent news this week that Eric's Uncle Joe, who was diagnosed with stomach cancer this fall, has had tremendous results with his chemotherapy. Pretty much all of the cancer evidence in the rest of his body is gone, leaving only the original stomach tumor. Not sure what the next plan will be, but I know the entire family is pretty relieved!

Anyway, it's 75 degrees here today and that garden is calling my name. I felt badly that I hadn't gotten around to posting yet, but like I said, it's been CRAZY busy for us! I'm headed to Mayo again in the next month for a follow-up appointment with my oncologist there. It's not supposed to be a big deal, but they will want to review my CT. Wish me luck!

Carpe diem. -- Trela

Two Hundred and Sixty-Eight Days Later...

In celebration of my last chemo, today was my first official outing without my "new hair" as Kile calls it. We had a little fun with the thingy before I put it in it's box. I know, scary how much Kile looks like me. My oncology office was a safe test zone since half of the patients wear hats or nothing at all, though they never saw me without my "hair" until today. One of my nurses actually said, "Wow, cute hair! When did you get it cut?" She's been my pre-doctor nurse since September, just didn't realize I was wearing a wig almost the whole time.

It's really amazing how quickly two-thirds of a year can go. I can't believe I'm to the point that 268 days ago I didn't honestly believe I would see, at least not in apparent good health. Fortunately, I'm alive, I'm WELL (to think that phrase used to just roll of my tongue when people asked how I was... I think about it a lot more now!), and amazingly enough I'm finished with chemotherapy.

My last session went well. It happened to be the clinic's Daffodil Day (an American Cancer Society ritual which is pretty cool.. .the whole place was filled with the yellow buggers), so everything was very festive if not a bit more chaotic than normal.



My labs were decent, white cells down a bit, but still much better than my Girl In the Plastic Bubble days. Meeting with my doctor went well, also. He's cleared me for resuming "normal" activities (like working out in a facility or taking yoga classes) as of a couple weeks from now, going to the dentist (yippie), and scheduling meetings with a plastic surgeon to "finish up." He confirmed that my CT looked basically fine, a little more density around the expander, but he expected that. He did mention I'll need to return to Mayo at the end of the month to meet with my oncologist there, who would also review my CT. He thinks I'll need to be heading up there once or twice a year, but I will still be able to do the majority of my testing in Cedar Rapids. The next appointment there is for a chest x-ray (to make sure nothing has developed in my lungs) in late May.

Ironically, he missed work last week because HE was stuck in the same "hotel" that I had been with pneumonia. We had an exciting conversation about the charm of 4:30am labs and 6am trips to radiology for chest x-rays (the only perk being the warm blankets they give you upon return).

Chemo was no big deal, although my nurses were extra charming. I was apparently successful in Chemo 101, the primary lesson being to make the nurses love you -- they brought me a DOZEN salmon colored roses (which they had to pretend were from someone mysterious so the other patients didn't get jealous). So incredibly sweet... and totally unexpected. I got bubbles and the kazoo version of "Pomp and Circumstance" as they unhooked my IV. I really will miss those girls. In a different time, different place, we all probably would have been friends!

Eric and I spent the evening finalizing our packing as we're planning to head out of town tomorrow after work. We'll spend the night in Milwaukee and then fly out to Las Vegas early Saturday morning.

I still can't believe it's been 268 days. (Nor can I believe I counted them.) This really has been an amazing experience. I know I've learned at least that many things about myself in this relatively brief time. I'm so grateful for the support of all of you... just looking at our blog counter even if there aren't any additional comments reminds me that I matter. Enough mushy. Catch you on the flip side...

Carpe diem. - Trela

All Clear!

Well, it's official! I'm completely CANCER FREE! I had a CT scan last Wednesday, earlier than planned because Eric decided I was stressing too much. He called the oncology office to move up the timeline. Of course, I was furious, but realized he was right. The initial read of the scan showed no problems, but we had to wait until last night to hear the official all clear. Phew. Now we just have to continue to hope and pray that the follow-up CT's go the same way. I'm not sure of the schedule for them yet, but I'm guessing it's going to be an every 3 months sort of routine.

Eric and I are celebrating the good news (and the end of my chemo, which is tomorrow) with a Spring Break trip to Las Vegas next week. We're looking forward to warmer weather and a chance to relax and actually sleep (since of course our darling daughter still wakes up at least twice most nights).

I'll post tomorrow after my chemo. I can't believe it's been six months already!
Carpe diem!!! - Trela

Defying Gravity

After a nine hour drive to Milwaukee Friday evening (it's normally about four hours) due to the extensive winter storm, Mom and I met Cara in Chicago for our Christmas present -- tickets to "Wicked" and dinner. Don't we look theatrical? The show was great (though if you loved the book, put some distance between your read and seeing the stage production, because they're about as similar as my two children -- same parents, TOTALLY different personalities). The music is pretty modern, less chorus/verse/chorus than the traditional Broadway, and I've been listening to my cd since I returned home. My current fave inspired the title for today's blog. Nifty lyrics, and the final number before intermission, and those are usually pretty cool. Very carpe diem-esque, so of course I loved it. I think I actually liked the actresses in Chicago better -- the two witches have a number of songs together, and the Chicago girls had more easily distinguishable voices than the two on my cd from the New York company. Ah well, whatcha gonna do? The revived Oriental theater is very pretty if not a bit cozy. Chicago has done much to revamp its theater district (ok, wait, I don't' remember it even having a theater district), though we had to walk with heads ducked down in disapproval past the corner formerly housing Marshal Fields which is now yet another Macy's. Scowl, scowl. And when did this blog become a venue for theater criticism? Guess it's good I don't get out more...

Anyhoo, everything else is going well for us. My flu finally broke up a week ago Saturday, so it waylayed me for a full 9 days. When it was gone, it was totally gone, so that was a bit of a bright spot. I just woke up Saturday morning and felt totally fine. We'll take it! I ended up missing that entire week of school, though Friday was questionable. I think I could have done it, but it was probably better not to risk it. And Eric likely would have chained me to a chair or something, so it's always good to avoid that level of marital strife...

On another note, I'm now two thirds of the way finished with my LAST, repeat, LAST chemotherapy round (fingers crossed). My toes hit a low point last week in terms of numbness and tinglies, but those have actually gotten better since then. I still (crossing fingers again) don't have any problem with my fingers, and have also seemingly lucked out on the muscle and joint pain frequently associated with Taxol. My fellow chemo patients who sit around my area all seem to be susceptible to that problem. Unfortunately, my eyebrows and lashes are choosing NOW to thin quite a bit, so we'll see if I lose them completely... such timing! My hair itself is growing, albeit slowly. I actually have a hair appointment set for myself next week to see if anything can be done to shape it yet. My biggest hair problem now is making sure the wig covers my REAL hair. Such a nice complication!

Kids are doing well, Cavanaugh is now officially 10 months old and at the "I could probably walk, but crawling is SO much faster" stage. She's still tiny (checking in at 17.5 pounds and in the 25th percentile), but she's growing on pace for her size, so there don't seem to be any worries there. Kile is returning to his formerly happy self (he's been a bit of a pill the last few months), and Eric and I are thrilled to have our son back. Our newest agreement with him is that our names are Mommy and Daddy until he is five. Then we can be Mom and Dad. He thinks its' funny. He's currently looking forward to starting preschool, something we're hoping to do late this spring. Eric continues to be busy with both the Jesup and Waterloo clinics, though he did take off the entire day today to go with me to chemo. Such a nice guy... if only I could get him to pick up his laundry. Work wise, life is busy for me! My oncologist and I had a discussion last week about our choice of professions, that both seem to be regarded by the rest of the world as something that someone has to do, but no one else wants to! Frankly, most days I think he has a much rougher go of it. At least I get summers off!

Carpe diem! - Trela

You Know You've Been On Chemo If...

a standard, minor, run-of-the-mill, non-strep virus knocks you on your tail for, um, going on 6 days now.

Sigh.

Sitting at dinner tonight arguing ("arguing:" a term that currently means trying to speak at a forceful level while at the same time desperately trying to swallow dinner and maintain an "I'm cool" expression when in fact each throat movement makes me feel like some strange, yet to be read about Harry Potter baddy is stabbing me from the inside) with Eric about how I WAS going to work tomorrow I realized, hmm, this must be one heck of a virus if I'm STILL feeling the effects of it nearly a week later.

No, Trela, he responded, you have no imune system. It's having to work overtime to kill the bug, therefore taking longer for you to feel better.

Oh. Well I'm still going to work tomorrow.

With the sudafed and pain killers you're needing to take every 3 hours and 59 minutes precisely?

(sheepishly) Yes. (more forcefully, at least until my throat twinges again) With the drugs. I'll be fine. (shooting the daring "and you can't stop me" look, especially impressive while I'm wearing my striped pajama pants and pink fuzzy slippers.)

At which point my dear husband pulled the secretary card, the card he reserves for dire emergencies, the card that lets me know he's deadly serious. We also call this card "Holly." He's threatening to call our building secretary in person so that she knows to bar the door if I appear at school in the morning. My fear of her wrath is far greater than living with him, so I guess I'm going to let it slide this time...

...but I'm totally going to work on Thursday.

Happy Valentine's Day!
Carpe diem. - Trela

Taking a Day

Here are the babies! Kile hasn't made it into too many pictures recently (partially because it's hard to get him to sit still, but also because if I ask him to smile he does this cheesy-possessed -by-a-zombie-type grin that's too creepy for publication), so I thought it was time to include him. With all of the snow our bird feeders are suddenly very busy and Cavanaugh is disapointed when she looks out at night and sees no activity. Both kids love these plush little guys, though! Mom and Dad have kept us well-supplied in Cornell Labs birds that sound just like the real thing since Kile was about 6 months old. They get a giggle from Cavanaugh almost every time Kile pulls them out. For some reason she finds the Blue Jay the funniest...

Anyway, I'm home alone today, and it's rather strange to be home sick with something NOT related to chemotherapy! After watching the kids and Eric battle a head cold for the last two weeks I myself have finally given in to it 100%. I worked on Friday and had a sore throat that just wouldn't go away. Saturday and Sunday I moped around the house feeling sorry for myself (and boy, can you tell, because this place is a MESS). Yesterday afternoon I decided if it hurt too much for me to take a nap, I probably had no business going to work. I zipped in to my family doctor's this morning, and he confirmed that I was, in fact, sick. Gee, thanks. Actually, I knew it's all he'd say, but I went to make sure I didn't have strep. My temp was a little higher than I thought, so I'm glad I went in for that reason as well. Now I can turn myself back in to that paranoid idiot who checks her temperature every 30 minutes because I'm so terrified of missing it jumping over the 100 mark. So far we're hanging in the low 99's, so hopefully that will be the end of it. I probably should be sitting on the couch right now, but honestly other than this stupid dagger sticking out of my neck, I feel decent, so couch sitting is boring. Maybe I could grade those papers... (see previous posting... oh, and to my former students who I NEVER would have done that to, don't worry, they're cutesy little drawings that the kids already got completion points for, and trust me, these kids aren't sweating it)
Carpe diem. - Trela

No News Is Good News!

So much for New Year's Resolutions! I can't believe how much LESS time I have to do anything with two little people running around (and all of you with more than one child are saying, "yes, Trela, we told you that..."). Blogging has fallen to the bottom of the list, right behind laundry and that pile of papers I collected in mid-December and have yet to grade, but still dutifully drag home each and every night in the faint hope that I might have an hour to sit and read. Yeah, right.

I began my third round of chemo on Wednesday. Again, no problems, and my nurse reassured me that at this point even if my veins totally freaked out on us, they'd work through it without making me get a port. Yippie! So far the veins are holding their own, and pushing lots of water the two days before treatment has been helping. It was just nice to know that this close to the end they'd find other solutions if the need arose. As of right now I have only 5 treatments left. I'm beginning to be a little fearful of the end of treatment-- a common cancer patient's fear, I understand. Mentally I feel like the chemo is battling any problems still around in my body, so I'm "safe." Now I'm nervous for the time ahead with no chemo backing me up. Of course I'm still hopeful and optimistic, but I don't refer to myself as "worst case scenario girl" for no reason. A great friend sent me a bracelet that reminds me to "expect great things" and that thought makes me smile when I see it on my wrist throughout the day.

My hair actually looks better than Cavanaugh's! Her baby fine stuff is still longer than mine, but my do is much thicker. So far it looks pretty straight, we'll see if that holds. Another two months or so and I'll be able to look like I got a significant haircut! My students are increasingly curious. I freaked out my loudest most obnoxious class by scooting my wig on my head -- brought them to a standstill and I taught a rather calm lesson from that point on. Not sure how that factors into the classroom management piece... regardless they've been much better the last week or so, perhaps in fear I'll do it again. My homeroom has seen a peek of my less-bald head, and it just causes questions, but I figure those are all teachable moments so we take little breaks from math in the morning and talk about it. I absolutely ADORE my homeroom this year, so it's definitely worth the time.

Anyway, that's about what I have time for -- Kile is watching "Babar" and Cavanaugh is convinced she doesn't need a nap right now. Eric's gone into the clinic to deal with a Saturday morning patient emergency. Time to go grade papers. Ha!

Carpe diem - Trela

Happy 2007!

New Year’s Resolution – Post to the blog more often.

New Year’s Resolution – Quit making New Year’s Resolutions that I won’t live up to.

So far 2007 is progressing very well for the Rottinghaus clan. Eric’s practice(s) are continually busy, my teaching is going reasonably well, Kile is usually charming, and Cavanaugh is, well, Cavanaugh. Medically (the entire reason for this blog) my chemo treatments are continuing to go well, and although the neuropathy has moved into my right foot as well, it’s really just the three littlest toes on each foot so I’m not having any problems. They seem to simply be tingly as opposed to numb, so that’s also a good thing! After my second to most recent dose I felt really out of it, even fell asleep on the way home, so they reduced my Benadryl and that made a huge difference. Last week I ate lunch, talked to Eric on the way home, and would have probably gone into work for my 1:30 meeting if he hadn’t accidentally dashed off to work with both sets of car keys in his pocket. Now if only I could find a way to avoid the thermostat changes, though vitamin E seems to be helping. Gosh, can’t wait to go through this again in 25 years!

Anyway, really not much else going on with us. We spent New Year’s Eve at a comedian (who used to be a counselor… there’s a “hmmm” for you!) who had a totally brilliant thought – so much so that I dug in my purse to write it down, though it turns out it’s practically engraved in my brain and writing it was pointless. People keep asking me how I can be so upbeat through this whole thing, and other than the whole optimism thing which I think is necessary, this guy filled in the rest of my answer: “You can’t worry when you’re laughing. It’s like crying and eating ice cream at the same time.”

Enjoy some ice cream, who cares if it’s January?

Carpe diem. - Trela

The Hallway is Green

My first week of work went well overall. I feel caught up on most things in my classroom (only a few papers to grade tonight!), and I'm pretty sure I've gotten all of the first names of my students down cold. I hope I don't meet them outside of my room anytime soon, but in the room, in their seats, I'm good.

After the Jesup tree-lighting on Friday evening (if you didn't hear Kile tell Santa over the loudspeaker that he wants Lighting McQueen for Christmas, you're one of very few who did not) my energy level took a little dip when I put Cavanaugh to bed. She kept squeaking in her typical diva-like "how dare you leave me alone" way, so I put my jams on with her and lay down on our bed...next thing I knew it was 3 am and I'd already had nearly seven hours of sleep. Clearly the energy came back, however, since Saturday was a flurry of Christmas shopping, cleaning, laundry (in fairness, Mom did the laundry and I watched), organizing, and yes, I painted the hallway green, something Eric noticed when he came home from Des Moines at about 2am. Fortunately he didn't touch it because he would have found it still a bit tacky since I finished at a bit before 1.

I'm feeling good again today, enjoying reading on my new porch (which starts my brain on another tangent... that's below), catching up with my parents, and only experiencing minor tingling in my toes (a side effect of my chemo). Hopefully next week will go as well and the tingling won't progress much more!

Ok, tangent -- I can't keep calling my new porch "the new porch." It's totally enclosed, has heat, lots of windows and is approximately 4 feet wide by 25 feet long. I'm taking suggestions for new names. I've already rejected sunroom because, face it, it's a glorified hallway, glorious though it is (it was 85 in there this afternoon with the sun!). Currently it is also housing our Christmas tree and my book which I'm now going to get back to...

Carpe diem. - Trela

Hi ho, hi ho!

WOW! I'm sitting at MY desk at WORK!!! My first day went overwhelmingly fantastic, and amazingly enough I'm not even that tired yet. Ok, a couple of snags on the way... left my lunch at home in my cute little Superman lunch bag... I can practically taste my red beans and rice that I will now have to throw away. Then there was the uncomfortable moment before I had class to explain to the kids why they can't hug me... imagine 15 rather exhuberant 8th graders running to you with arms outstretched, and then little sad faces as I told them to get the heck away from me with their snotty noses (ok, I was slightly nicer)... I'm overusing my elipses here, sorry.... Then there was my fabulous 5th period (formerly known as the class in which I count down the minutes until the purgatory ends) who actually applauded me when I walked into the room. Veteran teacher that I am, I wasn't swayed (though momentarily touched), and my suspicions were confirmed when one of my darlings wished I was back in the hospital when I told him he needed to be in his assigned seat (you know, the seat he begged me not to move him from when I change seats on Thursday, that seat). I LOVE MIDDLE SCHOOL!

Anyway, there were a few comments that I wasn't blogging enough, so there you go folks, an update!

Hope you're all well!
: )
Carpe diem - Trela

Look at Me! I'm Typing!

It's 5:41. I finished chemo at 3:30 this afternoon, and yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sitting totally erect at the computer, typing at a reasonable speed, and even using (mostly) proper grammar and syntax. The new drug I'm on is, thus far, much easier to tolerate. They give me Benadryl prior to administering the chemo so I was slightly fuzzy for a few hours (personally I think it's just another ploy by the nursing staff so I don't try to drive myself anywhere). I have zero medications to take before my next treatment next week, so that's a minor relief. Setting my alarm for every 4, 8, 12, 16 hours after chemo was getting a bit old.

Other than that, things are continuing to be calm and peaceful around here. Oh, wait, that's because the kids are at the in-laws. Smirk. If all continues to go well I'll be heading to work on Monday to resume the helm. And apparently I'll be starting nautical school... chemo brain is sometimes a riot! (I mistakenly referred to the hospital as the hotel today while driving by... that was before treatment started.)

Hope Thanksgiving was a happy time to be with family and friends, ours definitely was.

Carpe diem. - Trela

44% Completed

Or something like that... the good news is I'm reportedly done with the 2 nastiest drugs I'll have to take. The week after Thanksgiving I'm scheduled to begin on the last drug of my chemo regimen, and that will take me until the first week of March. Unlike the once every three week schedule I've been on I'll transition to going once a week for three weeks, then a week off for just over three months. The "good" news is that my doctor thinks I'll be able to work again after I get adjusted to the new drug, so I'm really hoping to go back to work a couple of weeks before Christmas. While I've completely enjoyed the rest time and extra time with my kids, Cabin Fever is totally beginning to set in. The frequent visits from my parents have helped, but I'm really missing seeing my friends at work more regularly. This new drug is supposed to be gentler on my bone marrow, so I don't have to be quite so much the girl in the plastic bubble.

My most recent treatment went well, we ended up reducing my drugs by another 25% (math majors, you can figure that out) but they assured me there were actually still some meds in the IV. I caught Eric's cold overnight between treatments, but they allowed me some Tylenol and I think we've beaten that already. Hopefully it hit while I still had some white cells. I had my booster shot yesterday so I'm all muscle achy today, but it's not bad... interesting that this is the third time I've had the shot, yet this is the first time the accompanying paperwork told me to avoid large crowds after it. Hmmmm. Good thing I already had a brain in my head!

On the non medical front everything is going well for us. Eric's practices are keeping him busy (he's been going to bed before 11 which is unheard of!) and the kids are doing great. Cavanaugh is living up to her diva reputation and absolutely refuses to bend at the hip in order to sit on the floor. We know she CAN sit but if she catches on that's what you want her to do it's all over. Kile is finally starting to feel better after his encounter with hand foot and mouth and seems not to want to come home at all (the kids stay at Grammie and Papa's place during my treatments and the day after). At least we know he's comfortable in his surroundings.

I've now filled almost an entire drawer with cards from all of you. Amazingly enough they keep on coming! Just looking at it when I'm feeling lonely really helps, so thanks!

Carpe diem - Trela

Holiday Fun

Yikes, a little behind in our blog! Here's the kiddos on Halloween night pre-trick or treating. Kile went as Max from Where the Wild Things Are, Cavanauh was our own little jack o'lantern, and our friend Kennady was a little monster. The kids were able to dress up twice, once for our annual Pumpkin Carving Party Saturday night, and then again on the 31st.

Beyond all of that activity, it's been a busy couple of weeks highlighted by a visit from my brother, Ian, my sister, Cara, her boyfriend, Andrew and my parents. Can we say "family pictures?" Unfortunately other than for Ian, all of them had their week capped off with the same stomach bug that got me re-incarcerated on the 7th floor of Mercy Hospital for three days before their visit. Stupid white cells AGAIN!!! It's just wrong when nurses and techs walk into your hospital room and say, "don't I know you?" Sigh.

Only one more two day session of the "nasty" drugs this upcoming Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm not sure how long of a break I'll have before starting on the next (and hopefully last) drug which will take me into late February. It's supposed to be slightly kinder and gentler, though I'll be treated more frequently, basically once a week with a week off once a month. I'm sure somewhere in there we'll do a CT scan which I'm totally dreading, but I'm not sure when. We'll also likely consult with Mayo about the radiation issue one more time -- at this point we're probably not going to pursue it since there's no evidence it will help at all and we're concerned about the integrity of my skin and the tissue expander. My oncologist as well as the oncologist at Mayo are in support of that decision which is primarily based on the fact that Sloan Kettering said they wouldn't do radiation in my case. Since they're the expert I think we'll likely go with them!

Anyway, enough medical talk. I'm feeling well most of the time, but I do get a bit tired by about 9pm. Basically I feel like I've been teaching all day but I haven't been! I have one or two higher energy days a week, but most of the time it feels like after school on a Friday afternoon after a full week. One of the chemo side effects seems to be a complete inability to nap so I've just been sitting down a lot catching up on movies or reading. It's terrible, really. Smirk.

Carpe diem - Trela

Sad News

We learned this morning that our nephew, Garrett, passed away sometime last night. He would have been six months old next week, just a day younger than our Cavanaugh.

When you're going through something like cancer treatment it's pretty easy to become very focused only on yourself instead of on the outside world. What a tragic reminder that the rest of the world moves on no matter what personal struggles one is dealing with.

Our hearts go out to my brother-in-law Dean and his wife Meg as they cope with every parent's worst nightmare.

Carpe diem - Trela

3 down, 1 to go!

Well, it's the day after treatment and I've been up since 8:30, have already eaten breakfast, returned a phone call, and checked my email. I feel every so slightly out of it, but this is MILES ahead of the last two treatments afterwhich I spent the first day totally unconscious. Only one more set of this nasty bugger and then we move on to the reportedly kinder, gentler drugs.

After my adventure in the hospital the doctors decided to cut my dose by a full 30%, and I'm definitely feeling the difference. As long as it still does its job, I think we're good to go. I'm focusing on a day of relaxation, movie watching, and lying on various surfaces around the house. So much better than the last time! I can actually pick up the remote! All will be well until approximately 7:30 central time when the Cardinals take to the field... if they don't win I may be using this blog to either 1. sell Eric to the highest bidder or 2. find a new place to live.

- Carpe Diem, Trela

Round 3

Well, a 30% reduction in chemo dose seems to be a lot easier on the cute blonde. She is still feeling pretty tired and groggy, but overall she's feeling much better than after the previous two sessions.

The nurses at Oncology Associates told her that her priviledges had been revoked after she drove to Chris and Leisa's house. Trela, now the "bad girl" at the clinic is not allowed to be in possession of car keys while undergoing chemo. Like the bar drunk at closing time her protests that "I'm fine to drive... really." will not be accepted. Luckily there is no shortage of designated drivers for her.

About a week from now will be the low point for her blood counts, so we'll hope that she can avoid IV antibiotics and/or a hospital stay this time. We'll keep you posted.

Meg Riney stopped by for the afternoon yesterday and kept Trela company. From what Meg told me today, Loopy isn't just a classic childrens story book.

Other than that things here are going well, Kile and Cavanaugh are having a good time at Grammie's and things at work for me are getting accomplished.

Until next time...

The Girl in the Plastic Bubble

Oh, for Pete's sake people, I'm FINE!!! A fact I kept trying to convince the hospital staff of until at 4:05 today my doctor walked in and quite simply asked if I was ready to go home. I'm sure it wasn't a hallucination when at that precise moment the hospital loudspeaker suddenly broke into the Hallelujah chorus... ok, so it didn't, but if my life were a movie it would have been highly appropriate.

I'm pretty tired (since I've done all of that sitting around over the last five days) and my arm where the IV lived for nearly all five of those days is a bit sore, but honestly, I'm feeling pretty darn good. In fact, I really never felt that badly. I think this one we caught at the perfect time, though clearly to avoid it completely would have been better. The biggest annoyance today was having to wait almost two hours for my discharge papers and the nurse INSISTING I ride in a wheelchair to leave (even though I had seen other patients leaving on their own two feet, and even though I tried to convince her I wasn't lying when I said I'd walked a mile yesterday and half a mile today). Could be a lot worse, but isn't, a fact I remind myself of frequently.

So I'm all set to enjoy my vacation, I mean sick leave, encourage my little platelets to keep multiplying and bide time until Kile can come home. Thanks for all of the positive thoughts, messages, and prayers. They continue to get me through.

Carpe diem - Trela

Incubating a virus

Well, it looks like Trela's go round with the bacteria is over, (squashed the bugs) but Kile has been having a rough go of it with hand foot and mouth disease. Since this is (of course) a very contagious disease, and we're not sure if Trela has had it, Kile is going to live with grammy for the next few days if Trela gets to come home.

Sounds like she may be able to come home in the next day or two, as long has her blood counts hold and her vitals stay normal. She's feeling much better and even walked a mile (literally) in laps around the ward yesterday. She was very happy to see the Cardinals beat the Padres, (ok, maybe I was a little more pleased than she) and had a pretty good day yesterday.

Other than that, things continue to be very busy around here and I'm sure they will slow down sometime by 2008.

ERic

UPDATE: As I was signing my name Trela called and she made bail. Sounds like she'll be coming home today after all.

ERic

Human Petrie Dish

The last few days have been interesting to say the least. After her scheduled bloodwork came back on Wednesday and her white count(WBC) was at 0.2 (we were shooting for a minimum of 2 but 4-10ish is normal) one of the nurses called, asked how Trela was doing, and as if on cue, her temperature began to rise. Just like last time (when the lowest WBC reading was .6) we headed to CR for some IV antibiotics. This time, however, they decided to keep her overnight for observation, as her heart rate, and BP weren't quite right either.

One thing leads to another, and next thing you know, she's in the hospital until at least monday and the cultures they took of her blood started to look like that loaf of bread which has been sitting on the counter for a few months too long. While the don't know exactly which bug it is just yet, and the first round of drugs MAY have taken care of it, they are keeping her till Monday.

Meanwhile, she's gotten a blood transfusion, bunches of meds, and the promise that the next round of chemo will have a reduced dosage so that we don't get to do this all over agian in 3 weeks. On the bright side, we are about halfway through this first course, and the Taxol that comes next is supposed to be less severe.

So, Mom has been taking care of Kile and Cavanaugh, and I've been getting adjusted regularly from sleeping on the "cot" in Trela's Room.

Carpe Diem

Recovery From Round Two

In this instance lack of posts simply indicates lack of brain power, not any actual new illness (although I have learned to navigate my house quite well despite raging black circles that plague any sudden movements for the first few days after treatment). I'm planning on getting back to work on Thursday, quite a long break this time, but Eric took one look at me when he got home this evening and called the substitute teacher line. It annoyed me, but he's right... if I can't hold my head erect there's probably no real chance I'd be able to maintain classroom management. Hopefully Thursday.

I don't think chemo itself was rougher this time (though they did add a couple of shots at the end of the sessions to boost random cells in my body) I've decided that coming into a treatment after my previous week's malady probably caused my ultimate demise. And, of course, Trela tried to be tough girl and wean herself off of any and all but the required medication a full three days before I did the same last time. Dumb Trela. Regardless, a temporary setback, and I hope to be back to full power before too long. (At least, I hope that's what my labs indicate!)

Thanks for the cookies, dinners, gift cards and greeting cards that continue to rush in. They are most appreciated!
Carpe diem - Trela

Waiting to catch breath

Well all, the last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Between trips to Cedar Rapids for chemo, and trying to get work things accomplished, our cups have been full. Luckily, we have a lot of good people around helping us get things accomplished.

I don't have much time yet, but I thought I should give some much needed thanks to some people who helped with the new clinic over the last few days. Over the weekend, we primed, painted, and valanced (surely that's not a word, but work with me) the waiting room and hallways at the new office. I'll post a picture later, but Trela (inspired by Adam's logo and artwork) painted a mural on the waiting room wall. We would have been painting until sometime next March had we not had such good help.

Many thanks to all who helped and special thanks to

Fritz, who painted Friday night till late, Saturday most of the day, and came in Sunday night to help clean things up,

Mom, who embroidered the logos onto a really cool valance that ties the office together, watched the Kile and Cavanaugh, and did other things too numerous to mention,

Dad, who's been helping with tons of things including helping finance, and building things in the office,

Adam, who in the last few weeks has been working on a tight time frame to create the logos, business cards, and magnets for the open house last Monday,

Rick and Joan Kresser, who were early arrivals on Saturday, and painted until late in the day. (thanks for helping with the corn too!)

Kelly who drove all the way out and trimmed the ceiling,

Trela's parents who have been making more trips to Iowa than a presidential candidate before a primary, and have been landscaping and cleaning and doing laundry,

Mary, who has been keeping us in cookies, and fattening us up.

To all of you and anyone my fried egg of a brain failed to mention THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!


ps. THANK YOU!

Eric

See What Happens When You Get a Little Cocky...

So, yep, home sick today. That is, home sick following my drive to Cedar Rapids to check my temperature with my doctor, get my basement-like white count checked, and receive an IV of antibiotics. Stupid fall cold. I also was injected with a medicine they thought they may have to use anyway which is supposed to get my white cell count up again. Fabulous, because I think my white cells have taken a little vacation... I'm going back tomorrow for IV #2 and my doctor thought all of that plus my oral antibiotic would nip it in the bud and keep me on track for my treatments next Tuesday and Wednesday. He seemed pretty matter of fact about everything, like he expected this anyway. That'll teach me to get cocky...

Carpe diem - Trela

Checking in, Part 3

One more full week until my next treatment, and other than the suspicious strands of hair in my brush I'm suffering no ill effects. Part of me almost wishes it would just all fall out already so I don't have to keep playing the, "is this normal, or is it chemo?" game. We have Open House at school on Tuesday and I'm really tempted to just see my fabulous hairstylist before that so I don't have to worry if this last run through with the brush will be the end of it. Trying wigs on this Saturday was a humbling experience, not because I'm nervous about the baldness, but because even on my BEST day, my hair never looked as good as any of the wigs. I'm convinced that's how people are going to be able to tell it's not real! It just looks too good! Ah, to have such problems.

Other than that, I'm a little more tired than normal, although since I'm also adjusting to the back to school routine, it's tough to tell if that's really abnormal or not. My students have been relatively good thus far, though the stack of grading waiting me Monday is a bit intimidating. I'm sure it will be fine...

Mom and Dad are here this weekend to fix whatever else in my house seems broken, rearrange the kids' clothes, dig up my front garden and help Eric with continued front porch renovations. If only my house could always be this clean...

Carpe diem - Trela

Home again, home again

At 4 am the prospect of going to work seemed like a pretty good idea. Of course, Eric and my dad had already let me know the night before that it wasn't in fact such a brilliant theory, so I'd already called in for the day. By 6 am their superior intellect became obvious and I crawled back onto the couch for extensive 9/11 coverage. After getting the kids ready to head to Grammie's for the day I've alternated between recordings of "Mystery" and snoozing. There was one brief moment in which, while driving to my mailbox (hey, it was raining), I contemplated the word "tacos" and mathematically determined I could in fact make it to Chipotle and home before Eric got home. The nearest Chipotle is in Rochester.

Honestly other than minor flare ups in apparent insanity and nausea I'm doing ok. The only reason I'm not at work today is because (well, other than the fact I might try to comandeer a school bus for a northernly trip) of the dizziness which comes and goes rather abruptly and makes the sudden urgency of finding a chair highly annoying. Tough to teach and grapple for a hand hold. Hopefully tomorrow. I actually miss the kiddos.

Thanks for all the well-wishing. I'm hangin' in there. Carpe diem. - Trela

Sleep is good

Well, 2 days down, 20 to go.

Today was the second and final day of the first batch of treatments. Now we wait 19 days for the next round. 4 rounds total of this schedule and then it's going to be once weekly for three weeks with a week off. That course too will be repeated 4x.

The first day wasn't too bad, but Trela's feeling pretty ill tonight. They gave her some anti-nausea/sleeping meds, and so she's out like a light, which is I think better than being awake and sick.

In other news, many of you have heard by now, big changes are on the way. Dr. Eichelberger in Jesup has been presented with a wonderful opportunity to advance professionally in Des Moines, and has asked me to come in and buy his practice. It is a wonderful opportunity for me, and the best part is I'll still be able to continue my practice in Waterloo.

The only bad thing about the situation is the timing. Dr. Eichelberger is going to be be helping a doc in Des Moines with health problems and they need someone ASAP, so the timetable on this transition is pretty tight. If everything goes as planned, I'll be starting some of the time on the 18th of September, and then it would be full speed ahead on October 2 with the handoff taking place at that time.

So, I have been and will be pretty busy for a while. Don't be too hard on me we don't get too much posted her for a while.

ERic

C Day

Phew! Sorry about the lack of posts recently -- the last few weeks have been a whirlwind!

We're finally all set to begin chemotherapy tomorrow. After several weeks looking at treatment in Waterloo we've actually decided to pursue opportunities in Cedar Rapids, about 50 minutes away. There were several reasons for the change, but it basically came down to bedside manner and the fact that my new doctor actually knows my doctor at Mayo. I feel more comfortable with the time he and his facility have taken to work with our situation, and I'm confident we're making a better decision. This clinic is actually affiliated with Mayo, also, and it is the one my Mayo doctor had originally mentioned having cooperated with before. If only we'd listened earlier...

In preparation for the treatment I had a ventricular scan done locally today in order to make sure my heart was in good enough shape for treatment. Apparently one of the chemo drugs can cause heart damage, so another scan will be done after a few treatments to make sure everything is progressing ok. Heart checked out fine in their preliminary results, so we're all set to start tomorrow morning with an initial session reaching upwards of eight hours. I'll be treated tomorrow and Thursday, then have two clear weeks before starting again on week three.

Eric and I have been staying busy working on electrical for our porch, finishing the flooring, and working full time! School is going very well for me so far and I think I found a good sub today in the event I need to miss more days than we're planning on. My building has been incredibly supportive which is part of the reason I'm so determined to keep working -- it's nice having an extra thirty or forty people out there rooting for me. I was very upfront with the kids and after the initial round of questions they've learned to just roll with it. Haven't we all?

Carpe diem. - Trela

This fog is so thick, you'd think it was red tape.

I love bureaucracy. As happy as we are with the patient care at Mayo, the communication lines are a different story. First, our plan was to get an appointment at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in NYC, but things got complicated. From what I understand, it is Mayo's policy to send records only after 2 (TWO) requests. Of course we did not know this, so only requested that it be sent a mere one time. Then, by the time we figured that out, getting an appointment at Sloan would have taken us 2 weeks into our scheduled chemo treatments, and of course, Sloan doesn't want to look at her unless she has not yet started treatment.

Yesterday was supposed to be the day we found out the when's, why's and wherefore's about the chemo from the local treatment center, but for some reason after waiting over an hour, they had no records from Mayo either. Nor did the local plastic surgeon with whom Trela has an appointment tomorrow.

At any rate, the confusion has left us weary. Luckily, Trela's mother Fran is in town to take some of the pressure off, and we're able to keep our heads above water.

As long as the next months aren't as confusing as today has been.

Carpe Diem.

Decisions, decisions

Just a quick update -- my biopsy results were normal as predicted by our cryptic phone message Friday afternoon. My next appointment will be Monday, August 21st with my local oncologist. Presumably that will set my chemo schedule, but we have a potential of meeting with doctors at Sloan Kettering in New York, reportedly the best with my particular kind of cancer. In order to meet with them I can't begin any treatments, so our decision on whether or not to meet with them is still a bit up in the air. Ideally they'd be willing to just look over my file and give us input, but who knows if that's something they'll do or not. I just hate to delay treatment another two weeks. We'll update you when we know more! Carpe diem - Trela

A busy week

Wednesday we went to Mayo for a "routine" appointment, the initial exam and consult with the radiation oncologist, and an expansion. I think our stress levels would have been a lot different had the appointments been in the other order, because the expansion seems to have caused some redness and irritiation of the skin over the left breast. Since it is possible for angiosarcoma to present as a redness of the skin, we had to go back the next day for a biopsy.

Late Friday we got a message cryptically stating that we shouldn't worry over the weekend, but to call next week for detailed results from the biopsy. Good news I think, but sometimes HIPPA is very annoying.

So Friday was our 5th anniversary, and it just so happened that Kevin Cosner was at the Field of Dreams with his band and then a showing of the movie. Thinking that sounded like fun, we headed there immediately after work. Unfortunately for us, it seems that many other people had the same idea, and we arrived just moments too late to ride the shuttle from Beckman High. One of the parking attendants directed us to additional parking near the Field, so away we went. Faulty information. On the positive note, we did hear Cosner's band performing from the road while we sat for 40 minutes awaiting the bad news.

Instead of the movie, we decided to re-create our first date, so we went to Dubuque to House of China. We got a bottle of wine afterward and headed home, but were too tired to open it after the long day.

For now, we have an appointment in a week to get started with the chemotherapy. Trela starts school this week with some in-services, so she'll have a few days of work in before the chemo starts.

Carpe Diem.

Just Checking In

Hi all! Nothing new to report but thought I would check in to keep the readers happy. I'm probably at 80% Trela-power these days, by 8pm or so I'm pretty tired, but I've been able to do a few things during the day. Extensive gardening is still out, but I can do a bit at a time and feel like I've accomplished something. I haven't driven since surgery but my little Volvo seems relieved that I'm not putting many miles on it these days! A little bit of Tylenol sees me through the day and I'm very happy to be off of the more intensive pain killers which seemed to have had an amnesiatic (is that a word?) effect on me. I definitely think I had surgery last week... lost about 9 days in there somewhere.

Anyway, above is the aforementioned "Superdawg" which my oncologist and I bonded while discussing (why I felt more comfortable with a man because he had seen giant hot dogs on the roof of a building is still unclear...). A great friend of mine from early elementary school sent me a magnet of the place. Thanks, Marianne! Made me grin.

Thanks for the continuous comments, emails, and cards! It's like Christmas all of the time! - Carpe diem - Trela

Let Her Eat Cake

No great surprises at Mayo yesterday... we met with my oncologist who reviewed the surgical report with us. No new information, nothing better, nothing worse, so we're pretty much where we were before the meeting. We are definitely going to be doing chemotherapy (Doc keeps using the word "preventative" before the word chemo and I LOVE that sound.), probably starting right around the time I head back to work. That should be fun. (Adam, insert sarcasm lights around that sentence.)

We'll be meeting with a radiation oncologist on the 9th to determine if radiation is even something we'll be pursuing, and the chemo schedule will probably be set up based on that.

Regardless, it will be about a six month chemo deal and we'll need to bid my lovely locks farewell. Pantene has a new program (Pantene Beautiful Lengths)that requires only 8 inches instead of the 10 inches required by Locks of Love, so I'm going to look into that before my treatment starts. Plus, though I love the cause for Locks of Love, Pantene's program works with a company that makes wigs for women who've lost hair due to cancer treatment... seems a bit more appropriate.

Spirits are still good, appetite is returning to normal, my pain level is really excellent (which is good since I've got about a day and a half of pain meds left), and other than it being bloody hot outside everything else is well! My appointment this week (since apparently I'm meeting a subconscious goal to head to Minnesota at least once a week) is purely cosmetic to check in with my plastic surgeon. As long as there are no infections that should be a piece of cake... which I'll be eating on Monday to celebrate #31 (yikes!). Should be an interesting year. Carpe diem - Trela

Membership Has Its Privileges

When I told one of my friends I had cancer he, a rather classy guy and cancer survivor himself (who will probably read that say, "rather?" and be mildly offended), welcomed me to the club.

And then he promptly told me to get over it.

I think it was the best non-in person slap in the face he could have delivered, and it was of course exactly what I needed. One of his other thoughts, though, reminded me of all of the privileges that cancer carries with it. This involved a brief discussion of the fun and games derived from counting the sad little puppy dog faces one receives in a day when delivering the news to various people we encountered. I don't think he meant it as a challenge, but I tried it out on the couch salesperson first. Puppy Count? Trela: 1, SofaMart, nada

Anyway, here sits my comfy new privilege, my oasis in the chaos, my place to relax, rejuvenate, and recover. And to remember the poor girl's puppy dog face when she tried to figure out if there was a way to rush our order...

If you have been in our house you know we needed new furniture to seat actual adults in our family room anyway, so this couch was simply a matter of time. Bold, red, and GIGANTIC may not have been a cancer-free choice of mine, but currently it's my favorite symbol of recovery. Membership does have it's privileges... especially when it comes with stain guard.

We're headed to Mayo today for my first post-surgical meeting with my oncologist up there. I'm feeling pretty well (woke up with my arm above my head and NOT a lot of pain, so that's a good sign) so far. We're anticipating finding out more about my treatment schedule while we're there today. All for now! Carpe diem - Trela

Still Sleepy

Well, things other than narcotic induced slumber are good here. I think the most memorable quote of the week went something like, "Percocet makes me nauseous. Could I have some please." So, it seems as though it does a good job on the pain.

There is a drain tube that needs to come out, it is looking like that time has come, so we'll be heading north on Wed. to have that removed, then again on Friday for a follow up consult with the oncologist. Hopefully once the drain tube is out the pain will go away enough to cut back to some less potent drugs.

Other than that not much here is new.

Until next time.

Being Sleepy Makes Me Tired

Either daytime television is boring and tiresome, or a massive, invisible weight has been affixed to my eyelids. Certianly I cannot blame all this sleep on a few little white powdery pills, or small incisions. Had great hopes to finally finish reading several wonderful books I started this summer, including the Yorkshire Detective, recommended by my Dad, which is in sore need of my attention, but unfortunately it and several other potentially riviting paperbacks have lain abandoned on the pillow where Eric normally sleeps.

Hopefully I'll be able to divert my attention from the awful daytime TV somtime soon, because otherwise I feel my brain will turn into a pile of mush similar to the applesauce, which has been my favorite meal for the last few days.

Thanks to all of you who haven't been too scared to call me, and to the rest of you, please don't feel that you can't call. If I am asleep, I won't hear the phone and you won't bother me in the slightest.

Extra special thanks to my in-laws for taking care of the children today so I didn't have to deal with them, and also to their aunt Kathy, for providing endless amusement, even though Cavanaugh seemed to scream a lot today. Love my kids, but it sure was nice to hear them scream and know I didn't have to get up today.


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On another topic, Trela's wounds from round 1 have been healing nicely. Ironically, the two places that have hurt her the most are the busted lower lip (it really looks like someone punched her in the mouth... it wasn't me, I swear!) and the base of her heel on her right foot... Don't ask me how that happened either.

Anyway, as the title implies, she HAS been sleeping a lot, but that's good, and I've noticed a great deal of improvement over the last several days, her actual wounds have been healing nicely, and it looks like we'll have to go back to get the drain out early if things continue as they are now.

While we are in the mood to be thanking in-laws, I have to give special thanks to Trela's dad, Terry. He's made so many trips to Iowa, Rochester, Chicago, Moo Roo (mmMMMmmMMM, Ice Cream) and been at every appointment, amd her mom, Fran, who has been here whenever she's not in the air. We can't forget to mention her other in-laws, my dad, who was also in Rochester, but made it home in time to mow our lawn, and put a window and door on our new porch/room, (with some prior help from Tom, Fritz, and of course John.

With all the flowers, food, and support, it is a bit overwhelming at times. About the only time superwoman here gets a bit misty is when she thinks of how great all the support has been... Thanks.

Round One to Trela

Things continue to progress nicely. Trela is feeling better this morning, she has gotten up and walked around, though that did make her dizzy. The staff has informed us that we can go whenever she is ready, and the discharge has been ordered. Oddly, morphine did not help much with the pain, but she took some percocet and that helped a lot.

We have a couple scrips for the pain waiting for us in the pharmacy and unless something unforseen happens in the next few hours, we'll be heading home this afternoon. Hopefully the trip home will not be too difficult for her.

We know this is going to be a long battle, but at this point we are very optimistic and appreciative of everyone's support to this point. I'll post again when we get home.

Back from surgery

Well, she's finally back. Sounds like everything went well, and though Trela is still very tired and a bit groggy from the meds, she is doing very well.

The reconstruction went well, and though she'll continue to need weekly follow up over the next couple months, all that needs to happen now on that front is for healing and streching to occur, in that order.

Sounds like the'll continue to poke, prod, and move her around for the next couple days, but they'll either release he tomorrow or Friday.

Thanks for all the great comments we've recieved both in this blog and the notes, cards, calls, and e-mails we've gotten. Every time we get one it's like opening a little Christmas present and we really appreciate all of them, even if we haven't responded yet, keep 'em coming!

Early good news

I just finished talking to the surgeon. The first procedure is complete. Dr. Degnim removed the tumor and three lymph nodes. Everything wentsmoothly and Trela is doing fine. In order to make sure that they removed all the cancer, they do pathology tests on the removed tissue immediately. The 3 lymph nodes were all cancer free according to the early tests, and she was able to remove the entire tumor and achive clear tumor free margins.

The tumor had not spread to the underlying muscle, also good news, though it was close to the skin, so they had to take a little more skin than they had planned on.

By now I'm sure that reconstruction (the placement of the expander under the skin has begun, and it is about a 90 minute procedure, then 1-2 hours of recovery time.

More to come...

And So We Wait

Another long day is on tap. The plastic surgeon has vacation scheduled starting this afternoon, so as he was kind enough to squeeze us in, we got to be the first ones on the surgical slate today. Our report time was 5:45AM. Registration and surgical prep took until a little after 8, and the procedures should take until around 12:15 or so. (Hopefully the plastic surgeon won't be in too big a hurry to get to his vacation.)

As a side note, I love modern technology as I'm sitting here in the waiting room on laptop blogging. It sure makes information dissemination easier.

I'll post some more later once we get an update.

The Journey

They say life is a journey, not a destination, so instead of a daily summary, I'm going to post a blow by blow account of the day's activities, so we can all walk this road together.

6:00 AM Trela, Eric, and Terry slowly drag themselves out of bed, after a flurry of suds begin the relatively easy drive to Rochester. Trela takes this opportunity to snuggle with Cavanaugh's Pink Puppy and Kile's blankey, and take a nap. (I wish I had a picture.)

9:00 AM We arrived for the appointments. First on the list was Nurse Practitioner, Lori. As with all of the practitioners here at Mayo, Lori had an outstanding couch side manner. She answered almost all of our questions, and put out an APB on answers to questions she didn't know.

(Imagine the voice of Jack Bauer)

The following takes place between the hours of 10 AM and 11 AM

Time for the surgeon and her entourage. Dr. Degnim, a nurse, a student, and her resident stopped by for a group recon mission. After a brief exam and a succinct conversation, we decided on a simple mastectomy with a sentinel node biopsy. The belief is that it is unlikely that there is nodal involvement, but thoroughness is the mantra at this clinic.

The following takes place between the hours of 11 AM and 4 PM

Next up is the oncology crew. Dr. Okuno is preceded by his fellowship student, who does yet another exam. This is probably the best appointment of the day because we got so many answers. Trela was immediately comfortable with Dr. Okuno as he had lived in Chicago and knew the location of Super Dawg. (I can think of other reasons to trust a physician, but I try to steer clear of Trela's logic.) During this eventful appointment, we charted our course for the next several months. More or less.

First as many of you already know, the surgery is the main intervention, however Dr. Okuno recommended a preventive course of chemo, which we also expected. The chemo will likely be administered as a combination 2 different drug regimens 5x weekly for 3 weeks with one week off. That 4 week cycle will be repeated 4x with each drug as I understand. We're not certain of these timetables, our brains have somewhat filled up by this point.

Also, while we expected the mastectomy, we weren't quite prepared for the next 2 hours. After a phone consultation with the radiation oncologist (at some point radiation may be part of the treatment, that is still unclear) we learned it would be advisable to begin reconstruction at the same time as the mastectomy.

After a quick meeting with Dr. Williams who we had consulted with 2 weeks ago, we were shuttled over to the plastic surgeon, weighed, measured, and photographed for posterity. No lunch for us today!

That sentinel node scan to find the location for biopsy took up the next 90 minutes and after the 5th gown of the day was changed back to street clothes, we went directly to pre-admission at the business office, followed by an Anne Rice experience to count some white blood cells before surgery.

4PM and we are ready for a nap!

On the bright side, after a phone call to the Hotel de Grammie, we were informed that potty training efforts are showing signs of success. (Signs of success in potty training are pretty visible) **authors note: Trela strongly objects to the imagery of the previous statement, as well as any grammietical or punktuation arrors kontaied with in.

115 degrees. Fortunately the technical genius waited until late in the 8th inning to show us the temperature on the field... fortunately our seats remained feet, then inches away from sunlight for nearly the entire game. Seeing Pujols homer in an otherwise relatively uneventful game didn't hurt either. (I know, I know, I'm a complete traitor to my Northwest side Chicago roots. If it helps I still can't stand to watch the Cards play the Cubs...)

We're getting ready to leave for Rochester early tomorrow morning for my series of appointments beginning at 9am. I feel as if perhaps I should be more nervous, but I've been so overwhelmed by support recently it's really carrying me through. I wanted to make sure to tell you how much I appreciate all of the comments left on this blog -- especially by people who don't really know me at all (ok, my sister's friends rock, that much is clear). Fewer of my friends have posted anything but I know that's because they're too busy calling me to see what I need, to remind me they are there practically at my beck and call. It's been hard for me to ask for help, but I'm getting better!

My co-workers and I spent a great evening making 12 gourmet meals through Everyone's a Chef -- such a great gesture that we'll continue to reap the benefits of! (everyonesachef.com, by the way... they're in Cedar Falls). Your thoughtfulness humbles me.

On that note, I'm off to finish packing and get some sleep before tomorrow. Eric will post sometime Wednesday I'd imagine. I'm going to be too busy concentrating on kicking this thing in it's ugly little tail. Carpe diem. - Trela