Mayo Appointments Set

Next Wednesday I start appointments at 6:20 in the MORNING (which I tried not to look at with a sense of foreboding since I'm not at all a morning person). We do the scans (MRI and CT) in the morning, meet with my oncologist at 4:30 (by which point he'll presumably have read the scans), and then see a surgical oncologist Thursday morning. Beyond that is anyone's guess, obviously depending a great deal on what the scans do (hopefully do NOT) reveal.

I'm working up through Tuesday because sitting at home seems rather pointless. Apparently my positive energy befuddles many people but I still don't understand the point of wallowing. Am I scared? Of course, I'm terrified! However, whether I'm fine or not, I don't think spending days a witchy, irritated, angry, depressed mess is going to cure cancer (but let me know if you read any research otherwise... I can change! Ha!)

Eric and I spent all of last weekend burning nervous energy by moving our bedroom into the basement bedroom (which I've been working on for a few months), and then moving Kile into our old room. Of course, lots of gallons of paint again, but if you know that side of me, you already know that Eric kids me about my monthly paint budget. I had intended on my next post simply being a "look what I did to my house" blog, but life doesn't always work out that way. Regardless, since I'm totally determined to not become derailed, here's some photos of what we've done:

Here's what our basement bedroom used to look like:













And here's now:


And here's our old room... and it's new touches from Kile...











My Mom thinks maybe this weekend I'll paint the garage... maybe, if it weren't 10 below zero!

Carpe diem. - Trela

Here We Go Again...

Last week, after Eric tired of me asking him to check out a weird vein on my chest for about the 100th time, he set up an appointment for my at my oncologist's office. Unfortunately, my regular doc was out of town, and I totally refused to see someone new. I compromised by rescheduling for this Monday and in the interim called my plastic surgeon to see if he'd take a peek.

I saw Dr. B. last Thursday, and he decided he didn't know what the bump was, but that we should take it out, which he did as a minor outpatient procedure on Friday. This morning the call came to let me know that my suspicions were confirmed: 1. I know my own body freakishly well, 2. apparently I didn't want my sister's approaching wedding to upstage me in the slightest, and 3. I must miss the Mayo Clinic.

So yep, it's back. (What movie is that where the character says "He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack?" It's been driving me nuts all day...) Fortunately I still had my onc appointment with my regular doc today (and I actually apologized for going over his head and having surgery without his approval... I have issues, I know). Clearly the main hope is that the cancer hasn't spread and that this relatively small tumor is it. It was literally centered behind my scar, so I have huge hope that there's nothing else anywhere in my body. We'll first need to do some scans (likely at Mayo, likely later this week) to confirm there's no spread, and then I'll need to have more surgery in order to be sure we've gotten clear margins. A treatment course beyond that is determined by the spread or lack thereof of the cancer.

The good news is that in the last 18 months there's been more research and more literature published on my ridiculously rare type of cancer, so I'm less frightened than I was the first time. Today I'm really calm, and was actually in a good mood pretty much all day. The weekend was tough, mostly because I was sure I knew what was coming...

Last Thursday, following my appointment with my plastic surgeon, I called one of my best friends at school and left her a message letting her know what was going on. I was anxious and just didn't want to face heading home alone yet, so I went to a store to run some errands. As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw my friend's very distinctive car sitting in front of the same store I was headed to. I walked in, and there she was, the only person at the register. Exactly who I needed to see just then... I felt immensely better, and then the situation improved even more -- I wandered through the garden section (yes, in January) and saw a sign in front of me. I paused, momentarily confused because the only part of the sign I could see said "RELA" and of course, I read my name. Walking closer, I saw that an "X" was hidden behind a shelf, and that the sign really said "RELAX." Next to it was a sign totally out of it's place that read "Be Still and Know that I AM God." At a time in my life where I desperately needed a sign, He gave me one, literally.

Carpe diem. - Trela

Happy Holidays!

Health wise, I'm doing just fine, living in sports bra heaven (yuck) and pretty well healed from my surgery 6 weeks ago. Probably have to schedule an MRI soon (yuck again) and then a CT in mid February (triple yuck). Other than that, not much to report!

Since a friend noticed that my last pictures posted were of the Halloween variety, I figured it was time to do some more. On Sunday we were headed to my in-laws' for Eric's family's Christmas celebration, so Sunday morning was a bit of a whirlwind of activity. After taking the time to get Cavanaugh in the bath tub, dry her hair, put on her pretty Christmas dress, do her hair, and then turn my back for approximately two seconds, she decided that her brother needed company in HIS bath. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, she is in fact wearing her shoes.

Christmas Day itself was a little calmer in the wardrobe department -- snowpants and boots were about all that was required, and the little cherubs spent some time sledding at the golf course nearest my parents' house. No great misadventures there -- apparently Cavanaugh restricts herself to one per holiday, thank goodness.I spent today cleaning up, unpacking, finding spaces for all of our new loot, and realizing we don't have enough storage space. Again.

Hope your holidays were happy!
Carpe diem.
Trela

Non Medical Stuff

So I actually have time to post some other things! Here are some pictures from our 5th annual pumpkin carving party, Trick or Treating with the kids (Kile is a bat, Cavanaugh is a bunny) and my newly engaged sister and Andrew. It's been a really busy few weeks!

: )
Carpe diem.
Trela

All's Well That Ends Well

Ok, so the fact that I'm using the literary part of my brain to pull a not totally dull title for this post out of my head should be an indicator of my health right now.

Surgery went fine, even if it was significantly delayed. My anesthesia person was in another surgery, so when he finished it was already after 3. Then they had to recheck the room to make sure there was no latex in it (still not sure why every time I go there it's a shock to the surgical nurses that I'm allergic to latex... it's been in my chart, folks!). Probably didn't get started until about 4, and the first time I remember seeing a clock was about 5:45. They had to put a weird blanket on me in recovery because I was shivering so much, but it worked (weird because it like puffed with air through a vacuum like nozzle). I hate the whole coming out of anesthesia routine, but my nausea was really not bad at all this time.

It's 10pm now, and I got home about 15 minutes ago. My best friend picked me up at the hospital (despite her overwhelming fear of iv's, needles, blood, etc.) since Eric came down with the flu at about 3am this morning. She's also subbing for me during my week's "vacation" so we were able to chat about kids and classroom stuff. I really feel very good. I walked out of the hospital, buckled my own seatbelt and was coherent for the ride home. My dad, of course, asked when the pain killers would wear off... ha.

So, yep, good day overall (for me, anyway! Eric's still suffering!). Thanks again for all of the good vibes and prayers! Sitting on my bed in the "on deck" circle this afternoon I imagined them all covering me like a little blankie (can we tell I have toddlers?) and I felt really calm. I actually wasn't nervous about surgery at all, and that tells you how powerful your good thoughts and prayers are.

Carpe diem.
Trela

4 For 4

I love Rachel. Seriously.

Chest x-ray was fine this morning, headed up to the hospital for surgery this afternoon!

Carpe diem.
Trela

On the Road to Barbie-ville

Yikes. Been too long, sorry about that, folks. I know you've been sitting in front of your computers for weeks now just waiting for a new update from me... ha.

It's been a while, so this post will entail far more medical updates than you're used to. Count that as a disclaimer, so if you really don't want to know (read: if you're a boy I work with and the info will freak you out), my best advice is for you to skim.

OK, so deal is tomorrow I have my three-month check (for those of you not paying attention, this time on the rotation is the chest x-ray, slightly less scary than the CT which I'll have in... anyone, anyone? Yeah, that would be February.). That's in the morning, labs, x-ray, visit with my kind doctor who I sincerely hope begins to tire of the sight of me since nothing on my chart will change except the date. Here's hoping, and praying...

Tomorrow afternoon (assuming the morning is fine) is when the real fun begins. I'm finally going to be rid of this lovely expander and dent in my chest. Yeah, if you didn't notice the dent, well, good, you shouldn't have been looking, but trust me, it's there. Just look in my best friend's wedding pictures. Sigh. Anyway, they're taking out this softball and replacing it with my (dare I say it?) permanent implant. Yes, boys and girls, tomorrow, at approximately 3:30 pm, I will become a resident of Silicone Valley. And the dent (which is the outside version of stitches used to hold my expander down since Mayo messed up and chose to give me the appearance of a breast on my shoulder, not such a good look, really) will be gone. Phew.

After this surgery, which could actually be the last time I have to go under, I only have two more "procedures"... one will be an outpatient jobby to reconstruct the nipple. That's followed by an in-office tattoo job that I'm told will only take 20 minutes or so. I'm not sure how long I have to wait before those two procedures... at least three months, I'm thinking. You know, those same three months that I'll be in sports bra purgatory. Never thought I'd long for an underwire...

So, thanks for the continued good thoughts and good wishes (and for the crowd of coworkers that either wished me well at school today or called me tonight). I'm less nervous than normal, but that of course only causes me to be more nervous... darn vicious circle...

Carpe diem.
Trela

Thomas!

Eric and I took Kile and Cavanaugh to see Thomas the train at a train station about 100 miles away from us the weekend before last. We didn't tell Kile what was happening, and kept talking about a "surprise" he'd have on Saturday if he was good. I wish I had a surprise every weekend to keep him so well behaved! His face upon arrival was priceless! We walked to the train yard and he finally saw Thomas. He turned, looked at us, and said, "Mommy! Did you know Thomas is here?????" Ahh, the innocence of youth. (And yes, I managed to keep sarcasm out of my response... I tend to save that for the 14 year olds, they're better equipped.)

Cavanaugh enjoyed the day, but sitting in the car for two hours only to get on a train and sit for another 25 minutes was not her idea of a good time. Eating "ticken!" (aka, McDonald's chicken nuggets) in the car on the way home was probably her highlight, though she does perk up a little bit more now when the trains go by our house.



Since the train we dealt with a week of missed preschool and crabby nights because of that darn cold going around. We seem to have beaten it for now, and who'd have thunk it? I'm the only one in the family who never seemed to suffer any ill effects. Irony, gotta love it. My student teacher now has a mere 9 days left with me... I have no idea how I'm going to actually find time to teach again, but I'm bringing myself back on board slowly by grading papers at night again. Eric's busy as ever at work and we've figured we spend about three conscious hours together every week night. Except tonight when he's seeing a patient late. And Wednesday when I have to tutor. And Thursday when I have a Site Council meeting. Pretty sure there's something Tuesday I'm forgetting....

Carpe diem. - Trela

The Healing Field

As we approach the 9/11 anniversary and my lesson plans again turn to themes of patriotism and remembrance, it was good to be able to once again have a Healing Field to visit. The National Exchange Club, of which Eric is a member, has done this field twice in Waterloo now. There are about 1,000 flags, all tied with yellow ribbons, set up in a memorial park in downtown Waterloo. My 8th graders helped to put the flags out the last time we did this (about three years ago I think), and one of those flags stands in my classroom now as a fabulous hands on teaching tool. I noticed today that while my flag from a few years ago has the name of just one fallen soldier on it, those flying now have three or four.

The Healing Field concept is a beautiful one, and I'd urge you to go and see one if you're nearby a town that's doing it. They're year round now, not just around Patriot Day. It's really an awesome sight. The kids obviously loved it, and it was a great (finally not hot) day for us to visit.

Beyond our weekend activities, life is going pretty smoothly in the Rottinghaus house.
- School is going well (helps that I have a student teacher that ROCKS, even if he doesn't think so).
- Eric's busy busy busy, and
- Kile cries when I pick him up from preschool because he doesn't want to leave.
- I spent my Labor Day weekend helping my sister complete the move in at her new place in Chicago, and I ALMOST miss living in a city. Almost.
- Cara's boyfriend's sister seemed to have little difficulty with her first chemo treatment last week, so thanks for all of the extra prayers. I know she was appreciative.
- The Cardinals are hanging in there, which is good for us if only because it makes Eric a lot easier to live with... and it makes me highly knowledgeable in tormenting my Cub-loving co-workers. (I know, I'm a horrible tease, but I only do it when the Cubs are doing well, it's no fun to pick on 'em when they're down, which hasn't been very much recently!)
- My next surgery will likely be in mid-November as my band-aid owie of last May has finally healed itself. We've decided we don't need any more expansions (actually I think Dr. B. just doesn't want to mess with me anymore) so my next appointment won't be until before the surgery itself.
- And Cavanaugh (Cav, Vanna, Cavie depending on the mood and who it is talking to her) is growing in leaps and bounds, 2 inches since her birthday in late April, and I'm pretty sure all of that was since the beginning of August. She's talking all of the time and starting to string little sentences together most of the time. And yes. She's still a diva.

Too much info in there to string together neatly, so I apologize for the lack of fluency. It happens!

Carpe diem. -- Trela

Rachel Wins Again!

Rachel, for those of you not in the names and faces of Oncology loop, is my radiology tech in Cedar Rapids. So far she's 3 for 3, 2 ct's and 1 x-ray all turning out in my favor. My oncologist himself has gotten a lot smarter since he first met me, today walking into the room while saying "your CT was fine" instead of beginning with his usual pleasantries. Have to love the man...

We're going to continue on our three month schedule, next will be a chest x-ray in November. He wanted to do a mammogram (which for me means MRI) by then, but it won't happen until after my next surgery because my expander has a metal disk in it. Magnets, metal, bad combo... After we whip that out to replace it with silicone they'll be able to do the MRI. Just protocol there, nothing new to worry about.

So, since my weekend will usher me into three months of medical peace, I'm off to work at school for an hour before helping to freeze corn this afternoon.

If you're in the area, Eric's open house at the Waterloo clinic (Falls Avenue Chiropractic) is this Wednesday, so drop me a line if you're interested in going! Or, just drop by between 4:30 and 7. We've only been there a few months, but we're very pleased with the look of the place, so check us out if you have a chance. Be sure to tell him how much you love the spine that took me 8 hours to paint...

Thanks again for all of the thoughts and prayers, and please direct some of those to my sister's one day sister-in-law who begins her chemotherapy for breast cancer in the next few weeks. Heather and I have never met, but the emails have been flying between us since we connected immediately with two post pregnancy diagnoses. Gotta wonder what we're doing to our world...

Carpe diem. - Trela

Technical Difficulties

So about two hours after my oncology office called this morning to confirm my Wednesday appointment, they called again to reschedule. Apparently there have been difficulties with the CT machine, so they have moved me to Friday morning. Yippy skippy! Just when I had almost mentally prepared myself to go, but what can you do? Thought I should let everyone in cyber world know so that no one was wondering why my latest exam results weren't posted yet....

Thanks for all of the thoughts and prayers... keep 'em coming!

Carpe diem -- Trela

Wedding Weekend!

I know, it's Tuesday. It took til now for me to actually pull my brain back together... what a long, exciting weekend! The wedding was beautiful and my children were darling. Thank GOD my parents brought them so that Eric and I, both in the wedding party, didn't have to smile and look glamerous AND wipe Cheerios from little faces at the same time.

Today's birthday #32 for me, we're going out to celebrate tonight, and then tomorrow I hit the school stuff hard! And of course, Muggles, it's also Harry Potter's 18th birthday... not sure what he's doing to celebrate. After 13 hours of my nose in the book, I've been finished with the series for over a week now!

Enjoy the last weeks of summer! Man, it's muggy here!
Carpe diem - Trela

In the Full Swing of Summer

Yikes! I knew it had been a while since I posted last -- didn't realize it had been THAT long! Sorry! I'll try not to let it happen again....

School has been finished for me since the first week of June. In that time lots of things have happened:
- Kile turned 4
- Cavanaugh began walking
- Cavanaugh began running
-I redecorated the basement (mostly)
- my dad planted a 14 foot tree in our front yard with Rick's help, and the phone line mangaged to survive
- my parents came to visit
- Adam came home from the Carolinas to visit
- my sister bought a condo (yea! a new project for me to help decorate!)
- I got a tan that's just NOT going to look good in the bridesmaid's dress I need to wear in three weeks
- I gardened
- I gardened some more
- and yes, more gardening
- I only went to the doctor's office three times - it was routine and with the plastic surgeon
- I finished decorating Eric's new office for now and we opened the doors

It's been a busy 5 weeks since the last post! In the weeks ahead it only promises to get busier! We're hosting a shower here this coming weekend, RAGBRAI the week after that, a wedding the next weekend, visiting Chicago and Milwaukee, a couple of plastic surgeon appointments for more expansions, and a CT scan in mid- August. Phew! I think I'm going to be more tired at the end of summer than I was at the beginning! Welcome to Summer!

Hope everything is going well for all of you!
Carpe diem - Trela

Nothing but Big Changes!

Chest x-ray at the oncology office in Cedar Rapids on Wednesday revealed exactly what we wanted it to -- NOTHING! My next appointment there will be in mid-August for a CT, continuing my quarterly checks. It was actually sort of nice to see the people who took such good care of me for 6 months this year -- I kinda miss them!

Today I have another appointment at the surgeon's office to check on the surgery and do another expansion. Hopefully we'll have only two more of those after today.

Now that the secret's pretty much out, Eric will be moving his Waterloo practice to another location in the next two weeks. It's been a rush to get everything done, since we started working on this the week of my surgery (a good distraction to my medical stuff!), but we're feeling good about it. He'll be opening his doors on Falls Avenue, a block down from Rudy's Tacos. We need to paint the entire clinic (about 1600 square feet) by Tuesday so they can install the carpet, so if your Memorial Day plans aren't set, feel free to call and join us! We're not changing anything at the practice in Jesup, so as of a month from now, Eric will be the proud owner of two practices! One of the doctors at his current practice will be joining him in Waterloo, and we have hopes to add several massage therapists to the staff. Check us out soon!

We are still on the market for a nanny or daycare for two days a week this summer. They're REALLY cute kids! : )

Carpe diem. - Trela

LIVESTRONG at Logan

Here's some members of my school staff yesterday. We're all wearing yellow (or yellow ties!) for Livestrong Day. It was really cool to walk around the building yesterday and see so much support. There have been a lot of us affected either directly, like me, or indirectly from cancer. As I go through the process people keep asking about my support structure. Well folks, there's a big part of it right there!

Didn't get a chance to take a picture of the immediate fam yesterday, even Cavanaugh sported yellow-trimmed socks!

I'm healing fantastically from surgery. I've gotten one expansion so far, and it caused zero pain, no tylenol needed. Next week I'll have expansion #2 and if I can continue at this rate, I could be ready for surgery by August (although clearly that won't work with my teaching schedule and the fact that I have a student teacher scheduled to begin right at the start of the year!). On Wednesday of next week I also have a chest x-ray to check out my lungs... monitor, monitor! Hopefully that will be clear and then I'll have most of the summer with no worries.

Carpe diem. - Trela

Home Life

Happy Birthday Miss Cavanaugh! Practically since birth Kile has assured us that Cav's favorite color is orange, so an orange cake it is! Pretty sure she never ate dinner Wednesday night, but ah well, you're only 1 once.

I've spent the week recovering from surgery, which thus far hasn't been terribly difficult at all. I'm completely off any type of pain killer, including the milder non-prescription sort, and unless I do stupid things (i.e., slamming car doors or picking up children) I don't really notice any muscle aches at all. My parents were here for the beginning of the week to help out (read, do laundry), but Mom had to leave Tuesday to be ready for work on Wednesday. Dad's been holding down the fort since she left, and Eric stops by now and then...

My appointment on Wednesday at Mayo revealed nothing new other than confirmation that my CT of late February/early March was in fact clear. My doctor feels comfortable leaving me in the hands of my Cedar Rapids doctor since they have a good working relationship and so we don't have to keep making trips north. Next major medical appointment from an oncology standpoint is a chest x-ray at the end of May. We'll probably alternate between x-rays and CT's every three months for a while.

Meeting with my plastic surgeon on Thursday was also uneventful. They removed the drain from my surgery (yea!) and got rid of any extra gauze I don't need. Everything seems to be healing well (lack of pain being a great indication of that), and I'll see him again in two weeks. He and I already agree that everything looks better than it did before surgery, and we haven't even started the expansions yet. Hopefully that will be at my next appointment so we can be finished with that by mid-summer.

Other than that, not much going on at home. Eric's still really busy at work, something we only see increasing in the weeks and months ahead. You could stop him to ask him about it, but he might not have time to tell you!

Starting to plan for summer, if you know of anyone interested in watching the li'l ones a day or two a week, let me know! I'm completely flexible on days, I just know I need to do a better job taking care of myself this summer.

Carpe diem. - Trela

Out of Surgery

Ok, actually I've been out of surgery since about 10:30 on Friday, but I couldn't think of a more clever post title. I also can't think of anything very clever to say. Clearly I'm up and about enough to be typing rather coherently, though that's probably the extent of my lucid thoughts at this point. Surgery went well according to my doctor, and I woke from the sleeping meds about an hour after he finished. By 5pm I was ready to head home despite the fact that Eric and I had discussed my staying overnight (those hospital beds just are NOT comfortable). I slept most of the last two days and dealt with a little nausea/dizziness, but I'm off the pain killers today and most of those symptoms have disappeared. I'm a bit sore, but nothing a little ibuprofen can't handle. I've spent almost no time in bed today, even ventured outside to check my garden, but I'm starting to feel tired now and will probably spend the afternoon curled up on the couch catching up on pointless television.

Eric's been ridiculously busy at work these days, but I can honestly say that should be an entirely different blog!
: )
Carpe diem. - Trela

I Must Have Been Ugly

Forgive me if I've posted on this topic before... I keep meaning to, and my short term memory still isn't quite up to par...

One of the more humorous regular occurrences of this ordeal is the sheer volume of people who find it necessary, sometimes on a near daily basis, to compliment my appearance. The school nurse in the hallway, the substitute teacher working with me yesterday, friends we haven't seen in a couple of weeks... all of them utter my new favorite phrase, "Wow, you look really good!" I have gotten so practiced at receiving the comment, I can practically see it coming out of people's mouths before they know they're going to utter it. There's always a slow pause, the inevitable head to toe glance over, a brief hesitation, then it blurts out and is almost immediately followed by a sometimes not-so-subtle cringe. Some people are rather dramatic.

At first I didn't think much of it, took the compliments, ran with them. Now that this has been going on for six months or so, I must say it's making me a bit uneasy. Lately I hear the favored phrase and add a parenthetical thought at the end "(because you were hideous before.)" Realistically, I know this isn't the case, but I'm hearing things so often, I can't help but hear the thought bubbles I imagine emerging above people's heads. The sheer level of shock and surprise uttered by these well-meaning folks is probably the stimulus of my brain's chemical reaction to their phrases, but I've never been one to curtail my mind's wild tangents (100 of you just rolled your eyes all too knowingly). The last times I received this many compliments were in the days following the births of my kids (and yeah, we all know people lie to you then) and on my wedding day (Eric said I was gorgeous, and frankly, that's all that mattered... though now I'm wondering if he was lying then too....) Is this new found attractiveness a chemo side effect? I think not. I just must have been uglier before... clearly that's the only rational explanation.

Anyway, the good news is this has given me the perfect title for a book, if I ever write one. It needs a little tweaking (and probably a subtitle or parenthesis because otherwise it's just not me), but I think Before Cancer I Was Ugly would definitely stand out on a bookshelf.

By the way, I look really good today.

Carpe diem (and look good doing it). - Trela

By the Way...

I had a head cold last week.

I didn't miss any work because of it.

Said head cold is now gone . . . less than a week later.

In light of recent events, small triumphs of my immune system deserve notice. Or a cookie. Either way, really.

Must be the yoga.

Carpe diem. -- Trela
P.S. New definition of irony -- my mom bought me a bottle of red wine from the Firepeak Vinyard -- it's called "Carpe Diem." Eric and I are saving it (think about it, think about it...).

Moving Forward

Had my first post-chemo appointment with a plastic surgeon this week. The good news is he's likable, thorough, and professional. The bad news is he sees a need to redo my temporary expander. Apparently the one that was put in at my surgery in July has shifted, and it hasn't done a good enough job. What that means in the short term is that the surgery I had hoped would be my last will in fact be my second-to-last. They'll replace this expander with another one and I'll go through the expansion process again all this summer and into the fall. Hopefully I'll get the real deal placed late fall/early winter.

Because Eric and I are going to try to ride in Ragbrai and we're in a wedding that same week in July, time was of the essence. As a result, I'm going in for surgery on the 20th, just under two weeks away. I won't be able to exercise for 6 weeks, hence the need to get surgery done so I can get back on the bike as soon as possible. It means another week of missed work, but fortunately my Mayo appointment with my oncologist also falls in that week, so I won't miss yet another day. I won't be allowed to lift anything heavier than 10 pounds for a month, so that will prove interesting with Cavanaugh. I'm sure if I explain it to her she'll understand...

Happy Easter!
Carpe diem -- Trela