Defying Gravity... Literally

Ok, first off, this was NOT my idea. I asked some friends at work to take a couple pictures of me with my homeroom, and they did... then this happened! The kids, of course, seemed all for it. It was far too early in the morning for me to argue, and I was wearing my "defy gravity" shirts, so really, how could I say no?

Gotta love my homeroom this year! I've been fortunate with a fantastic group of kids two years in a row -- wouldn't you know it, the two years that I had to take extended "vacations." These thirteen kiddos were the first group I told this past Monday what was going on with me, and they were incredible. As I told my Language Arts classes later throughout the day, it never failed that one or two of my homeroom kids, who already knew my news, quieted down the rest of the class so they'd be super attentive.

Eric's headed to the Quad Cities for a seminar all weekend long, but my parents are coming tomorrow, so I won't have to deal with my sick kids all by myself! Their timing is fabulous, let me tell you! I'm spending the weekend grading tons of papers (midterm grades due Monday) and creating fabulously entertaining lesson plans for next week. And packing...

My dad is coming with me for a couple of days to Rochester and we'll leave around noon on Monday in order to be on time for my 3:30 appointment. I'm really not too nervous about it -- I think the scary news already happened and now this is just the next step.

Thanks for all of the thoughts, prayers, and Rochester restaurant suggestions!
Carpe Diem - Trela

Another Good Thing About Cancer...

You get to see people that you haven't seen in YEARS! A good friend of mine from high school was "in the area" this weekend (it's Iowa... it's relative) and came by with her family to say hello! They live in the Chicago area, so we're not super close for visits, but it's still nice to know my support structure is out there! It's too bad they're not closer, Kile is already complaining about missing his new friends and they only left an hour ago!

I'm finishing up some things around the house this weekend, getting ready for a week of work and planning on leaving the morning of the 11th for Rochester. I've been in touch with the Hope Lodge up there, and hopefully won't have to wait too long for a space to live.

Not much else to report!

: )
Carpe Diem. - Trela

Mayo Part 2

All things considered, my Mayo trip went relatively well. No new cancer discovered, numerous ultrasounds/ mammograms/ MRIs/ CTs to rule out anything else suspicious... So, where does that leave us?

I'll be beginning a five week course of radiation on February 11th at Mayo in Rochester. My radiation oncologist (a new one... bonded with her MUCH better than the first one of a year and a half ago) decided giving me a week and a few days to organize my house and classroom wasn't going to impact treatment at all, so I have a little extra time. I'll be in treatment about 15 minutes a day, five days a week, and will hopefully feel well enough to drive home on weekends.

After my radiation course I'll take another break of anywhere between 3 and 6 weeks before surgery. Exactly what that consists of gets a little gory, but the basics are that they'll take a 5 centimeter area of tissue which they'll need to replace with something... apparently that'll be tissue from my back. The good news is I don't have enough tissue on my tummy to allow them to do a TRAM flap, so they'll do the back procedure instead. Yum. Can't wait. Sarcasm overflowing. Apparently it's supposed to be less painful, but we'll see.

So anyway, that's the news for now! We'll spend the next week organizing our lives, trying to figure out Kile's school schedule so he doesn't have to miss school while I'm living up North, and writing copious amounts of lesson plans!

Thank you for all of the positive energy and prayers. We truly did get the best possible news this week considering the options, and I look forward to beating this once and for all. All we learned with this latest setback is that my race is a marathon, not a sprint. (Which is good, I haven't been very fast since about 4th grade anyway...)

Carpe diem.
Trela

Mayo Part 1

First things first, the initial reports are that my cancer has NOT spread. They're ordering an ultrasound to check out a "funny" thing on the other side of my chest, but my oncologist pretty much said he's not worried about it. I am, of course, but it seems these days I always need something to worry about.

We'll meet with my oncologist, a surgeon (actually the one who did my mastectomy), and a radiation oncologist tomorrow so they can bicker about what to do next. Surgery is a definite, likely radiation as well, but we'll see.

As Dr. O said, in the grand scheme of things, this isn't bad news. The tumor was literally on my mastectomy scar, so he agrees with our theory that it's likely leftover cells from a year and a half ago. He said local recurrance, but then practically downgraded that further to still being a tumor from the primary cancer. A fine line, I'm sure, but hey, if it makes a difference, we'll take it!

Off to the chapel...

Oh, midway through my appointment while my oncologist was on the phone to radiation, I got a text from the student I've been tutoring for the last 4 years -- he got into college!!!! I'm SO happy for him! Way to go, Kevin!

Carpe diem!! - Trela

Mayo Appointments Set

Next Wednesday I start appointments at 6:20 in the MORNING (which I tried not to look at with a sense of foreboding since I'm not at all a morning person). We do the scans (MRI and CT) in the morning, meet with my oncologist at 4:30 (by which point he'll presumably have read the scans), and then see a surgical oncologist Thursday morning. Beyond that is anyone's guess, obviously depending a great deal on what the scans do (hopefully do NOT) reveal.

I'm working up through Tuesday because sitting at home seems rather pointless. Apparently my positive energy befuddles many people but I still don't understand the point of wallowing. Am I scared? Of course, I'm terrified! However, whether I'm fine or not, I don't think spending days a witchy, irritated, angry, depressed mess is going to cure cancer (but let me know if you read any research otherwise... I can change! Ha!)

Eric and I spent all of last weekend burning nervous energy by moving our bedroom into the basement bedroom (which I've been working on for a few months), and then moving Kile into our old room. Of course, lots of gallons of paint again, but if you know that side of me, you already know that Eric kids me about my monthly paint budget. I had intended on my next post simply being a "look what I did to my house" blog, but life doesn't always work out that way. Regardless, since I'm totally determined to not become derailed, here's some photos of what we've done:

Here's what our basement bedroom used to look like:













And here's now:


And here's our old room... and it's new touches from Kile...











My Mom thinks maybe this weekend I'll paint the garage... maybe, if it weren't 10 below zero!

Carpe diem. - Trela

Here We Go Again...

Last week, after Eric tired of me asking him to check out a weird vein on my chest for about the 100th time, he set up an appointment for my at my oncologist's office. Unfortunately, my regular doc was out of town, and I totally refused to see someone new. I compromised by rescheduling for this Monday and in the interim called my plastic surgeon to see if he'd take a peek.

I saw Dr. B. last Thursday, and he decided he didn't know what the bump was, but that we should take it out, which he did as a minor outpatient procedure on Friday. This morning the call came to let me know that my suspicions were confirmed: 1. I know my own body freakishly well, 2. apparently I didn't want my sister's approaching wedding to upstage me in the slightest, and 3. I must miss the Mayo Clinic.

So yep, it's back. (What movie is that where the character says "He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack?" It's been driving me nuts all day...) Fortunately I still had my onc appointment with my regular doc today (and I actually apologized for going over his head and having surgery without his approval... I have issues, I know). Clearly the main hope is that the cancer hasn't spread and that this relatively small tumor is it. It was literally centered behind my scar, so I have huge hope that there's nothing else anywhere in my body. We'll first need to do some scans (likely at Mayo, likely later this week) to confirm there's no spread, and then I'll need to have more surgery in order to be sure we've gotten clear margins. A treatment course beyond that is determined by the spread or lack thereof of the cancer.

The good news is that in the last 18 months there's been more research and more literature published on my ridiculously rare type of cancer, so I'm less frightened than I was the first time. Today I'm really calm, and was actually in a good mood pretty much all day. The weekend was tough, mostly because I was sure I knew what was coming...

Last Thursday, following my appointment with my plastic surgeon, I called one of my best friends at school and left her a message letting her know what was going on. I was anxious and just didn't want to face heading home alone yet, so I went to a store to run some errands. As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw my friend's very distinctive car sitting in front of the same store I was headed to. I walked in, and there she was, the only person at the register. Exactly who I needed to see just then... I felt immensely better, and then the situation improved even more -- I wandered through the garden section (yes, in January) and saw a sign in front of me. I paused, momentarily confused because the only part of the sign I could see said "RELA" and of course, I read my name. Walking closer, I saw that an "X" was hidden behind a shelf, and that the sign really said "RELAX." Next to it was a sign totally out of it's place that read "Be Still and Know that I AM God." At a time in my life where I desperately needed a sign, He gave me one, literally.

Carpe diem. - Trela

Happy Holidays!

Health wise, I'm doing just fine, living in sports bra heaven (yuck) and pretty well healed from my surgery 6 weeks ago. Probably have to schedule an MRI soon (yuck again) and then a CT in mid February (triple yuck). Other than that, not much to report!

Since a friend noticed that my last pictures posted were of the Halloween variety, I figured it was time to do some more. On Sunday we were headed to my in-laws' for Eric's family's Christmas celebration, so Sunday morning was a bit of a whirlwind of activity. After taking the time to get Cavanaugh in the bath tub, dry her hair, put on her pretty Christmas dress, do her hair, and then turn my back for approximately two seconds, she decided that her brother needed company in HIS bath. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, she is in fact wearing her shoes.

Christmas Day itself was a little calmer in the wardrobe department -- snowpants and boots were about all that was required, and the little cherubs spent some time sledding at the golf course nearest my parents' house. No great misadventures there -- apparently Cavanaugh restricts herself to one per holiday, thank goodness.I spent today cleaning up, unpacking, finding spaces for all of our new loot, and realizing we don't have enough storage space. Again.

Hope your holidays were happy!
Carpe diem.
Trela

Non Medical Stuff

So I actually have time to post some other things! Here are some pictures from our 5th annual pumpkin carving party, Trick or Treating with the kids (Kile is a bat, Cavanaugh is a bunny) and my newly engaged sister and Andrew. It's been a really busy few weeks!

: )
Carpe diem.
Trela

All's Well That Ends Well

Ok, so the fact that I'm using the literary part of my brain to pull a not totally dull title for this post out of my head should be an indicator of my health right now.

Surgery went fine, even if it was significantly delayed. My anesthesia person was in another surgery, so when he finished it was already after 3. Then they had to recheck the room to make sure there was no latex in it (still not sure why every time I go there it's a shock to the surgical nurses that I'm allergic to latex... it's been in my chart, folks!). Probably didn't get started until about 4, and the first time I remember seeing a clock was about 5:45. They had to put a weird blanket on me in recovery because I was shivering so much, but it worked (weird because it like puffed with air through a vacuum like nozzle). I hate the whole coming out of anesthesia routine, but my nausea was really not bad at all this time.

It's 10pm now, and I got home about 15 minutes ago. My best friend picked me up at the hospital (despite her overwhelming fear of iv's, needles, blood, etc.) since Eric came down with the flu at about 3am this morning. She's also subbing for me during my week's "vacation" so we were able to chat about kids and classroom stuff. I really feel very good. I walked out of the hospital, buckled my own seatbelt and was coherent for the ride home. My dad, of course, asked when the pain killers would wear off... ha.

So, yep, good day overall (for me, anyway! Eric's still suffering!). Thanks again for all of the good vibes and prayers! Sitting on my bed in the "on deck" circle this afternoon I imagined them all covering me like a little blankie (can we tell I have toddlers?) and I felt really calm. I actually wasn't nervous about surgery at all, and that tells you how powerful your good thoughts and prayers are.

Carpe diem.
Trela

4 For 4

I love Rachel. Seriously.

Chest x-ray was fine this morning, headed up to the hospital for surgery this afternoon!

Carpe diem.
Trela

On the Road to Barbie-ville

Yikes. Been too long, sorry about that, folks. I know you've been sitting in front of your computers for weeks now just waiting for a new update from me... ha.

It's been a while, so this post will entail far more medical updates than you're used to. Count that as a disclaimer, so if you really don't want to know (read: if you're a boy I work with and the info will freak you out), my best advice is for you to skim.

OK, so deal is tomorrow I have my three-month check (for those of you not paying attention, this time on the rotation is the chest x-ray, slightly less scary than the CT which I'll have in... anyone, anyone? Yeah, that would be February.). That's in the morning, labs, x-ray, visit with my kind doctor who I sincerely hope begins to tire of the sight of me since nothing on my chart will change except the date. Here's hoping, and praying...

Tomorrow afternoon (assuming the morning is fine) is when the real fun begins. I'm finally going to be rid of this lovely expander and dent in my chest. Yeah, if you didn't notice the dent, well, good, you shouldn't have been looking, but trust me, it's there. Just look in my best friend's wedding pictures. Sigh. Anyway, they're taking out this softball and replacing it with my (dare I say it?) permanent implant. Yes, boys and girls, tomorrow, at approximately 3:30 pm, I will become a resident of Silicone Valley. And the dent (which is the outside version of stitches used to hold my expander down since Mayo messed up and chose to give me the appearance of a breast on my shoulder, not such a good look, really) will be gone. Phew.

After this surgery, which could actually be the last time I have to go under, I only have two more "procedures"... one will be an outpatient jobby to reconstruct the nipple. That's followed by an in-office tattoo job that I'm told will only take 20 minutes or so. I'm not sure how long I have to wait before those two procedures... at least three months, I'm thinking. You know, those same three months that I'll be in sports bra purgatory. Never thought I'd long for an underwire...

So, thanks for the continued good thoughts and good wishes (and for the crowd of coworkers that either wished me well at school today or called me tonight). I'm less nervous than normal, but that of course only causes me to be more nervous... darn vicious circle...

Carpe diem.
Trela

Thomas!

Eric and I took Kile and Cavanaugh to see Thomas the train at a train station about 100 miles away from us the weekend before last. We didn't tell Kile what was happening, and kept talking about a "surprise" he'd have on Saturday if he was good. I wish I had a surprise every weekend to keep him so well behaved! His face upon arrival was priceless! We walked to the train yard and he finally saw Thomas. He turned, looked at us, and said, "Mommy! Did you know Thomas is here?????" Ahh, the innocence of youth. (And yes, I managed to keep sarcasm out of my response... I tend to save that for the 14 year olds, they're better equipped.)

Cavanaugh enjoyed the day, but sitting in the car for two hours only to get on a train and sit for another 25 minutes was not her idea of a good time. Eating "ticken!" (aka, McDonald's chicken nuggets) in the car on the way home was probably her highlight, though she does perk up a little bit more now when the trains go by our house.



Since the train we dealt with a week of missed preschool and crabby nights because of that darn cold going around. We seem to have beaten it for now, and who'd have thunk it? I'm the only one in the family who never seemed to suffer any ill effects. Irony, gotta love it. My student teacher now has a mere 9 days left with me... I have no idea how I'm going to actually find time to teach again, but I'm bringing myself back on board slowly by grading papers at night again. Eric's busy as ever at work and we've figured we spend about three conscious hours together every week night. Except tonight when he's seeing a patient late. And Wednesday when I have to tutor. And Thursday when I have a Site Council meeting. Pretty sure there's something Tuesday I'm forgetting....

Carpe diem. - Trela

The Healing Field

As we approach the 9/11 anniversary and my lesson plans again turn to themes of patriotism and remembrance, it was good to be able to once again have a Healing Field to visit. The National Exchange Club, of which Eric is a member, has done this field twice in Waterloo now. There are about 1,000 flags, all tied with yellow ribbons, set up in a memorial park in downtown Waterloo. My 8th graders helped to put the flags out the last time we did this (about three years ago I think), and one of those flags stands in my classroom now as a fabulous hands on teaching tool. I noticed today that while my flag from a few years ago has the name of just one fallen soldier on it, those flying now have three or four.

The Healing Field concept is a beautiful one, and I'd urge you to go and see one if you're nearby a town that's doing it. They're year round now, not just around Patriot Day. It's really an awesome sight. The kids obviously loved it, and it was a great (finally not hot) day for us to visit.

Beyond our weekend activities, life is going pretty smoothly in the Rottinghaus house.
- School is going well (helps that I have a student teacher that ROCKS, even if he doesn't think so).
- Eric's busy busy busy, and
- Kile cries when I pick him up from preschool because he doesn't want to leave.
- I spent my Labor Day weekend helping my sister complete the move in at her new place in Chicago, and I ALMOST miss living in a city. Almost.
- Cara's boyfriend's sister seemed to have little difficulty with her first chemo treatment last week, so thanks for all of the extra prayers. I know she was appreciative.
- The Cardinals are hanging in there, which is good for us if only because it makes Eric a lot easier to live with... and it makes me highly knowledgeable in tormenting my Cub-loving co-workers. (I know, I'm a horrible tease, but I only do it when the Cubs are doing well, it's no fun to pick on 'em when they're down, which hasn't been very much recently!)
- My next surgery will likely be in mid-November as my band-aid owie of last May has finally healed itself. We've decided we don't need any more expansions (actually I think Dr. B. just doesn't want to mess with me anymore) so my next appointment won't be until before the surgery itself.
- And Cavanaugh (Cav, Vanna, Cavie depending on the mood and who it is talking to her) is growing in leaps and bounds, 2 inches since her birthday in late April, and I'm pretty sure all of that was since the beginning of August. She's talking all of the time and starting to string little sentences together most of the time. And yes. She's still a diva.

Too much info in there to string together neatly, so I apologize for the lack of fluency. It happens!

Carpe diem. -- Trela

Rachel Wins Again!

Rachel, for those of you not in the names and faces of Oncology loop, is my radiology tech in Cedar Rapids. So far she's 3 for 3, 2 ct's and 1 x-ray all turning out in my favor. My oncologist himself has gotten a lot smarter since he first met me, today walking into the room while saying "your CT was fine" instead of beginning with his usual pleasantries. Have to love the man...

We're going to continue on our three month schedule, next will be a chest x-ray in November. He wanted to do a mammogram (which for me means MRI) by then, but it won't happen until after my next surgery because my expander has a metal disk in it. Magnets, metal, bad combo... After we whip that out to replace it with silicone they'll be able to do the MRI. Just protocol there, nothing new to worry about.

So, since my weekend will usher me into three months of medical peace, I'm off to work at school for an hour before helping to freeze corn this afternoon.

If you're in the area, Eric's open house at the Waterloo clinic (Falls Avenue Chiropractic) is this Wednesday, so drop me a line if you're interested in going! Or, just drop by between 4:30 and 7. We've only been there a few months, but we're very pleased with the look of the place, so check us out if you have a chance. Be sure to tell him how much you love the spine that took me 8 hours to paint...

Thanks again for all of the thoughts and prayers, and please direct some of those to my sister's one day sister-in-law who begins her chemotherapy for breast cancer in the next few weeks. Heather and I have never met, but the emails have been flying between us since we connected immediately with two post pregnancy diagnoses. Gotta wonder what we're doing to our world...

Carpe diem. - Trela

Technical Difficulties

So about two hours after my oncology office called this morning to confirm my Wednesday appointment, they called again to reschedule. Apparently there have been difficulties with the CT machine, so they have moved me to Friday morning. Yippy skippy! Just when I had almost mentally prepared myself to go, but what can you do? Thought I should let everyone in cyber world know so that no one was wondering why my latest exam results weren't posted yet....

Thanks for all of the thoughts and prayers... keep 'em coming!

Carpe diem -- Trela

Wedding Weekend!

I know, it's Tuesday. It took til now for me to actually pull my brain back together... what a long, exciting weekend! The wedding was beautiful and my children were darling. Thank GOD my parents brought them so that Eric and I, both in the wedding party, didn't have to smile and look glamerous AND wipe Cheerios from little faces at the same time.

Today's birthday #32 for me, we're going out to celebrate tonight, and then tomorrow I hit the school stuff hard! And of course, Muggles, it's also Harry Potter's 18th birthday... not sure what he's doing to celebrate. After 13 hours of my nose in the book, I've been finished with the series for over a week now!

Enjoy the last weeks of summer! Man, it's muggy here!
Carpe diem - Trela

In the Full Swing of Summer

Yikes! I knew it had been a while since I posted last -- didn't realize it had been THAT long! Sorry! I'll try not to let it happen again....

School has been finished for me since the first week of June. In that time lots of things have happened:
- Kile turned 4
- Cavanaugh began walking
- Cavanaugh began running
-I redecorated the basement (mostly)
- my dad planted a 14 foot tree in our front yard with Rick's help, and the phone line mangaged to survive
- my parents came to visit
- Adam came home from the Carolinas to visit
- my sister bought a condo (yea! a new project for me to help decorate!)
- I got a tan that's just NOT going to look good in the bridesmaid's dress I need to wear in three weeks
- I gardened
- I gardened some more
- and yes, more gardening
- I only went to the doctor's office three times - it was routine and with the plastic surgeon
- I finished decorating Eric's new office for now and we opened the doors

It's been a busy 5 weeks since the last post! In the weeks ahead it only promises to get busier! We're hosting a shower here this coming weekend, RAGBRAI the week after that, a wedding the next weekend, visiting Chicago and Milwaukee, a couple of plastic surgeon appointments for more expansions, and a CT scan in mid- August. Phew! I think I'm going to be more tired at the end of summer than I was at the beginning! Welcome to Summer!

Hope everything is going well for all of you!
Carpe diem - Trela

Nothing but Big Changes!

Chest x-ray at the oncology office in Cedar Rapids on Wednesday revealed exactly what we wanted it to -- NOTHING! My next appointment there will be in mid-August for a CT, continuing my quarterly checks. It was actually sort of nice to see the people who took such good care of me for 6 months this year -- I kinda miss them!

Today I have another appointment at the surgeon's office to check on the surgery and do another expansion. Hopefully we'll have only two more of those after today.

Now that the secret's pretty much out, Eric will be moving his Waterloo practice to another location in the next two weeks. It's been a rush to get everything done, since we started working on this the week of my surgery (a good distraction to my medical stuff!), but we're feeling good about it. He'll be opening his doors on Falls Avenue, a block down from Rudy's Tacos. We need to paint the entire clinic (about 1600 square feet) by Tuesday so they can install the carpet, so if your Memorial Day plans aren't set, feel free to call and join us! We're not changing anything at the practice in Jesup, so as of a month from now, Eric will be the proud owner of two practices! One of the doctors at his current practice will be joining him in Waterloo, and we have hopes to add several massage therapists to the staff. Check us out soon!

We are still on the market for a nanny or daycare for two days a week this summer. They're REALLY cute kids! : )

Carpe diem. - Trela

LIVESTRONG at Logan

Here's some members of my school staff yesterday. We're all wearing yellow (or yellow ties!) for Livestrong Day. It was really cool to walk around the building yesterday and see so much support. There have been a lot of us affected either directly, like me, or indirectly from cancer. As I go through the process people keep asking about my support structure. Well folks, there's a big part of it right there!

Didn't get a chance to take a picture of the immediate fam yesterday, even Cavanaugh sported yellow-trimmed socks!

I'm healing fantastically from surgery. I've gotten one expansion so far, and it caused zero pain, no tylenol needed. Next week I'll have expansion #2 and if I can continue at this rate, I could be ready for surgery by August (although clearly that won't work with my teaching schedule and the fact that I have a student teacher scheduled to begin right at the start of the year!). On Wednesday of next week I also have a chest x-ray to check out my lungs... monitor, monitor! Hopefully that will be clear and then I'll have most of the summer with no worries.

Carpe diem. - Trela

Home Life

Happy Birthday Miss Cavanaugh! Practically since birth Kile has assured us that Cav's favorite color is orange, so an orange cake it is! Pretty sure she never ate dinner Wednesday night, but ah well, you're only 1 once.

I've spent the week recovering from surgery, which thus far hasn't been terribly difficult at all. I'm completely off any type of pain killer, including the milder non-prescription sort, and unless I do stupid things (i.e., slamming car doors or picking up children) I don't really notice any muscle aches at all. My parents were here for the beginning of the week to help out (read, do laundry), but Mom had to leave Tuesday to be ready for work on Wednesday. Dad's been holding down the fort since she left, and Eric stops by now and then...

My appointment on Wednesday at Mayo revealed nothing new other than confirmation that my CT of late February/early March was in fact clear. My doctor feels comfortable leaving me in the hands of my Cedar Rapids doctor since they have a good working relationship and so we don't have to keep making trips north. Next major medical appointment from an oncology standpoint is a chest x-ray at the end of May. We'll probably alternate between x-rays and CT's every three months for a while.

Meeting with my plastic surgeon on Thursday was also uneventful. They removed the drain from my surgery (yea!) and got rid of any extra gauze I don't need. Everything seems to be healing well (lack of pain being a great indication of that), and I'll see him again in two weeks. He and I already agree that everything looks better than it did before surgery, and we haven't even started the expansions yet. Hopefully that will be at my next appointment so we can be finished with that by mid-summer.

Other than that, not much going on at home. Eric's still really busy at work, something we only see increasing in the weeks and months ahead. You could stop him to ask him about it, but he might not have time to tell you!

Starting to plan for summer, if you know of anyone interested in watching the li'l ones a day or two a week, let me know! I'm completely flexible on days, I just know I need to do a better job taking care of myself this summer.

Carpe diem. - Trela

Out of Surgery

Ok, actually I've been out of surgery since about 10:30 on Friday, but I couldn't think of a more clever post title. I also can't think of anything very clever to say. Clearly I'm up and about enough to be typing rather coherently, though that's probably the extent of my lucid thoughts at this point. Surgery went well according to my doctor, and I woke from the sleeping meds about an hour after he finished. By 5pm I was ready to head home despite the fact that Eric and I had discussed my staying overnight (those hospital beds just are NOT comfortable). I slept most of the last two days and dealt with a little nausea/dizziness, but I'm off the pain killers today and most of those symptoms have disappeared. I'm a bit sore, but nothing a little ibuprofen can't handle. I've spent almost no time in bed today, even ventured outside to check my garden, but I'm starting to feel tired now and will probably spend the afternoon curled up on the couch catching up on pointless television.

Eric's been ridiculously busy at work these days, but I can honestly say that should be an entirely different blog!
: )
Carpe diem. - Trela

I Must Have Been Ugly

Forgive me if I've posted on this topic before... I keep meaning to, and my short term memory still isn't quite up to par...

One of the more humorous regular occurrences of this ordeal is the sheer volume of people who find it necessary, sometimes on a near daily basis, to compliment my appearance. The school nurse in the hallway, the substitute teacher working with me yesterday, friends we haven't seen in a couple of weeks... all of them utter my new favorite phrase, "Wow, you look really good!" I have gotten so practiced at receiving the comment, I can practically see it coming out of people's mouths before they know they're going to utter it. There's always a slow pause, the inevitable head to toe glance over, a brief hesitation, then it blurts out and is almost immediately followed by a sometimes not-so-subtle cringe. Some people are rather dramatic.

At first I didn't think much of it, took the compliments, ran with them. Now that this has been going on for six months or so, I must say it's making me a bit uneasy. Lately I hear the favored phrase and add a parenthetical thought at the end "(because you were hideous before.)" Realistically, I know this isn't the case, but I'm hearing things so often, I can't help but hear the thought bubbles I imagine emerging above people's heads. The sheer level of shock and surprise uttered by these well-meaning folks is probably the stimulus of my brain's chemical reaction to their phrases, but I've never been one to curtail my mind's wild tangents (100 of you just rolled your eyes all too knowingly). The last times I received this many compliments were in the days following the births of my kids (and yeah, we all know people lie to you then) and on my wedding day (Eric said I was gorgeous, and frankly, that's all that mattered... though now I'm wondering if he was lying then too....) Is this new found attractiveness a chemo side effect? I think not. I just must have been uglier before... clearly that's the only rational explanation.

Anyway, the good news is this has given me the perfect title for a book, if I ever write one. It needs a little tweaking (and probably a subtitle or parenthesis because otherwise it's just not me), but I think Before Cancer I Was Ugly would definitely stand out on a bookshelf.

By the way, I look really good today.

Carpe diem (and look good doing it). - Trela

By the Way...

I had a head cold last week.

I didn't miss any work because of it.

Said head cold is now gone . . . less than a week later.

In light of recent events, small triumphs of my immune system deserve notice. Or a cookie. Either way, really.

Must be the yoga.

Carpe diem. -- Trela
P.S. New definition of irony -- my mom bought me a bottle of red wine from the Firepeak Vinyard -- it's called "Carpe Diem." Eric and I are saving it (think about it, think about it...).

Moving Forward

Had my first post-chemo appointment with a plastic surgeon this week. The good news is he's likable, thorough, and professional. The bad news is he sees a need to redo my temporary expander. Apparently the one that was put in at my surgery in July has shifted, and it hasn't done a good enough job. What that means in the short term is that the surgery I had hoped would be my last will in fact be my second-to-last. They'll replace this expander with another one and I'll go through the expansion process again all this summer and into the fall. Hopefully I'll get the real deal placed late fall/early winter.

Because Eric and I are going to try to ride in Ragbrai and we're in a wedding that same week in July, time was of the essence. As a result, I'm going in for surgery on the 20th, just under two weeks away. I won't be able to exercise for 6 weeks, hence the need to get surgery done so I can get back on the bike as soon as possible. It means another week of missed work, but fortunately my Mayo appointment with my oncologist also falls in that week, so I won't miss yet another day. I won't be allowed to lift anything heavier than 10 pounds for a month, so that will prove interesting with Cavanaugh. I'm sure if I explain it to her she'll understand...

Happy Easter!
Carpe diem -- Trela

Vegas, Baby

Here I am with the new do! This is in the Wynn, which seemed to be competing with the Bellagio for a botanical display while we were there. (I think the Bellagio wins, hands down, granted I loved these floral balls.) Eric and I had an AMAZING time in Las Vegas for our Spring Break. Won a little, lost a little (I did better on penny slots than he did playing cards), saw "O" from Cirque du Soleil, walked a TON, and relaxed by the pool. I was pretty happy with my energy level (we were a little worried because my second to last chemo had made me pretty tired the four to five days following it, but I think I was just getting over that flu), I really had no trouble keeping up walking around, and let's face it, I'm always in bed by 11 anyway.

We also got to see my friend Lisa and her husband. She's a frequent poster to the blog, so it was nice to see them again after about 15 years. Above is a picture of us at dinner. It was good to see "real" people while we were in Vegas... you kind of expect the plastic and neon, but to spend time with people who are pretty much like you makes it all feel a little more grounded. Our hotel helped with that, too. It was associated with the MGM Grand, but didn't have a casino itself. It was great to be able to leave all of that noise and smoke and craziness behind... kind of an oasis in the chaos. Loved the chaos, but it was awesome to leave it behind when we wanted.

Anyway, life has been busy since our return -- Eric got the flu on our flight back so we stayed in Milwaukee an extra day. He was pretty down and out the last few days of my "break," so I didn't get too much more relaxing done.

Kile and Cavanaugh were in their babysitters' wedding on St. Patrick's day. We had a few tense moments when both of them burst into tears and screams when it was time for pictures before the ceremony, but everything was fine for the wedding itself. Kile was a trooper, put on his Hollywood smile and walked down the aisle pulling Cavanaugh in a wagon behind him. Nathan and Betsy were pleased, and that's the most important part!

We heard excellent news this week that Eric's Uncle Joe, who was diagnosed with stomach cancer this fall, has had tremendous results with his chemotherapy. Pretty much all of the cancer evidence in the rest of his body is gone, leaving only the original stomach tumor. Not sure what the next plan will be, but I know the entire family is pretty relieved!

Anyway, it's 75 degrees here today and that garden is calling my name. I felt badly that I hadn't gotten around to posting yet, but like I said, it's been CRAZY busy for us! I'm headed to Mayo again in the next month for a follow-up appointment with my oncologist there. It's not supposed to be a big deal, but they will want to review my CT. Wish me luck!

Carpe diem. -- Trela

Two Hundred and Sixty-Eight Days Later...

In celebration of my last chemo, today was my first official outing without my "new hair" as Kile calls it. We had a little fun with the thingy before I put it in it's box. I know, scary how much Kile looks like me. My oncology office was a safe test zone since half of the patients wear hats or nothing at all, though they never saw me without my "hair" until today. One of my nurses actually said, "Wow, cute hair! When did you get it cut?" She's been my pre-doctor nurse since September, just didn't realize I was wearing a wig almost the whole time.

It's really amazing how quickly two-thirds of a year can go. I can't believe I'm to the point that 268 days ago I didn't honestly believe I would see, at least not in apparent good health. Fortunately, I'm alive, I'm WELL (to think that phrase used to just roll of my tongue when people asked how I was... I think about it a lot more now!), and amazingly enough I'm finished with chemotherapy.

My last session went well. It happened to be the clinic's Daffodil Day (an American Cancer Society ritual which is pretty cool.. .the whole place was filled with the yellow buggers), so everything was very festive if not a bit more chaotic than normal.



My labs were decent, white cells down a bit, but still much better than my Girl In the Plastic Bubble days. Meeting with my doctor went well, also. He's cleared me for resuming "normal" activities (like working out in a facility or taking yoga classes) as of a couple weeks from now, going to the dentist (yippie), and scheduling meetings with a plastic surgeon to "finish up." He confirmed that my CT looked basically fine, a little more density around the expander, but he expected that. He did mention I'll need to return to Mayo at the end of the month to meet with my oncologist there, who would also review my CT. He thinks I'll need to be heading up there once or twice a year, but I will still be able to do the majority of my testing in Cedar Rapids. The next appointment there is for a chest x-ray (to make sure nothing has developed in my lungs) in late May.

Ironically, he missed work last week because HE was stuck in the same "hotel" that I had been with pneumonia. We had an exciting conversation about the charm of 4:30am labs and 6am trips to radiology for chest x-rays (the only perk being the warm blankets they give you upon return).

Chemo was no big deal, although my nurses were extra charming. I was apparently successful in Chemo 101, the primary lesson being to make the nurses love you -- they brought me a DOZEN salmon colored roses (which they had to pretend were from someone mysterious so the other patients didn't get jealous). So incredibly sweet... and totally unexpected. I got bubbles and the kazoo version of "Pomp and Circumstance" as they unhooked my IV. I really will miss those girls. In a different time, different place, we all probably would have been friends!

Eric and I spent the evening finalizing our packing as we're planning to head out of town tomorrow after work. We'll spend the night in Milwaukee and then fly out to Las Vegas early Saturday morning.

I still can't believe it's been 268 days. (Nor can I believe I counted them.) This really has been an amazing experience. I know I've learned at least that many things about myself in this relatively brief time. I'm so grateful for the support of all of you... just looking at our blog counter even if there aren't any additional comments reminds me that I matter. Enough mushy. Catch you on the flip side...

Carpe diem. - Trela

All Clear!

Well, it's official! I'm completely CANCER FREE! I had a CT scan last Wednesday, earlier than planned because Eric decided I was stressing too much. He called the oncology office to move up the timeline. Of course, I was furious, but realized he was right. The initial read of the scan showed no problems, but we had to wait until last night to hear the official all clear. Phew. Now we just have to continue to hope and pray that the follow-up CT's go the same way. I'm not sure of the schedule for them yet, but I'm guessing it's going to be an every 3 months sort of routine.

Eric and I are celebrating the good news (and the end of my chemo, which is tomorrow) with a Spring Break trip to Las Vegas next week. We're looking forward to warmer weather and a chance to relax and actually sleep (since of course our darling daughter still wakes up at least twice most nights).

I'll post tomorrow after my chemo. I can't believe it's been six months already!
Carpe diem!!! - Trela

Defying Gravity

After a nine hour drive to Milwaukee Friday evening (it's normally about four hours) due to the extensive winter storm, Mom and I met Cara in Chicago for our Christmas present -- tickets to "Wicked" and dinner. Don't we look theatrical? The show was great (though if you loved the book, put some distance between your read and seeing the stage production, because they're about as similar as my two children -- same parents, TOTALLY different personalities). The music is pretty modern, less chorus/verse/chorus than the traditional Broadway, and I've been listening to my cd since I returned home. My current fave inspired the title for today's blog. Nifty lyrics, and the final number before intermission, and those are usually pretty cool. Very carpe diem-esque, so of course I loved it. I think I actually liked the actresses in Chicago better -- the two witches have a number of songs together, and the Chicago girls had more easily distinguishable voices than the two on my cd from the New York company. Ah well, whatcha gonna do? The revived Oriental theater is very pretty if not a bit cozy. Chicago has done much to revamp its theater district (ok, wait, I don't' remember it even having a theater district), though we had to walk with heads ducked down in disapproval past the corner formerly housing Marshal Fields which is now yet another Macy's. Scowl, scowl. And when did this blog become a venue for theater criticism? Guess it's good I don't get out more...

Anyhoo, everything else is going well for us. My flu finally broke up a week ago Saturday, so it waylayed me for a full 9 days. When it was gone, it was totally gone, so that was a bit of a bright spot. I just woke up Saturday morning and felt totally fine. We'll take it! I ended up missing that entire week of school, though Friday was questionable. I think I could have done it, but it was probably better not to risk it. And Eric likely would have chained me to a chair or something, so it's always good to avoid that level of marital strife...

On another note, I'm now two thirds of the way finished with my LAST, repeat, LAST chemotherapy round (fingers crossed). My toes hit a low point last week in terms of numbness and tinglies, but those have actually gotten better since then. I still (crossing fingers again) don't have any problem with my fingers, and have also seemingly lucked out on the muscle and joint pain frequently associated with Taxol. My fellow chemo patients who sit around my area all seem to be susceptible to that problem. Unfortunately, my eyebrows and lashes are choosing NOW to thin quite a bit, so we'll see if I lose them completely... such timing! My hair itself is growing, albeit slowly. I actually have a hair appointment set for myself next week to see if anything can be done to shape it yet. My biggest hair problem now is making sure the wig covers my REAL hair. Such a nice complication!

Kids are doing well, Cavanaugh is now officially 10 months old and at the "I could probably walk, but crawling is SO much faster" stage. She's still tiny (checking in at 17.5 pounds and in the 25th percentile), but she's growing on pace for her size, so there don't seem to be any worries there. Kile is returning to his formerly happy self (he's been a bit of a pill the last few months), and Eric and I are thrilled to have our son back. Our newest agreement with him is that our names are Mommy and Daddy until he is five. Then we can be Mom and Dad. He thinks its' funny. He's currently looking forward to starting preschool, something we're hoping to do late this spring. Eric continues to be busy with both the Jesup and Waterloo clinics, though he did take off the entire day today to go with me to chemo. Such a nice guy... if only I could get him to pick up his laundry. Work wise, life is busy for me! My oncologist and I had a discussion last week about our choice of professions, that both seem to be regarded by the rest of the world as something that someone has to do, but no one else wants to! Frankly, most days I think he has a much rougher go of it. At least I get summers off!

Carpe diem! - Trela

You Know You've Been On Chemo If...

a standard, minor, run-of-the-mill, non-strep virus knocks you on your tail for, um, going on 6 days now.

Sigh.

Sitting at dinner tonight arguing ("arguing:" a term that currently means trying to speak at a forceful level while at the same time desperately trying to swallow dinner and maintain an "I'm cool" expression when in fact each throat movement makes me feel like some strange, yet to be read about Harry Potter baddy is stabbing me from the inside) with Eric about how I WAS going to work tomorrow I realized, hmm, this must be one heck of a virus if I'm STILL feeling the effects of it nearly a week later.

No, Trela, he responded, you have no imune system. It's having to work overtime to kill the bug, therefore taking longer for you to feel better.

Oh. Well I'm still going to work tomorrow.

With the sudafed and pain killers you're needing to take every 3 hours and 59 minutes precisely?

(sheepishly) Yes. (more forcefully, at least until my throat twinges again) With the drugs. I'll be fine. (shooting the daring "and you can't stop me" look, especially impressive while I'm wearing my striped pajama pants and pink fuzzy slippers.)

At which point my dear husband pulled the secretary card, the card he reserves for dire emergencies, the card that lets me know he's deadly serious. We also call this card "Holly." He's threatening to call our building secretary in person so that she knows to bar the door if I appear at school in the morning. My fear of her wrath is far greater than living with him, so I guess I'm going to let it slide this time...

...but I'm totally going to work on Thursday.

Happy Valentine's Day!
Carpe diem. - Trela

Taking a Day

Here are the babies! Kile hasn't made it into too many pictures recently (partially because it's hard to get him to sit still, but also because if I ask him to smile he does this cheesy-possessed -by-a-zombie-type grin that's too creepy for publication), so I thought it was time to include him. With all of the snow our bird feeders are suddenly very busy and Cavanaugh is disapointed when she looks out at night and sees no activity. Both kids love these plush little guys, though! Mom and Dad have kept us well-supplied in Cornell Labs birds that sound just like the real thing since Kile was about 6 months old. They get a giggle from Cavanaugh almost every time Kile pulls them out. For some reason she finds the Blue Jay the funniest...

Anyway, I'm home alone today, and it's rather strange to be home sick with something NOT related to chemotherapy! After watching the kids and Eric battle a head cold for the last two weeks I myself have finally given in to it 100%. I worked on Friday and had a sore throat that just wouldn't go away. Saturday and Sunday I moped around the house feeling sorry for myself (and boy, can you tell, because this place is a MESS). Yesterday afternoon I decided if it hurt too much for me to take a nap, I probably had no business going to work. I zipped in to my family doctor's this morning, and he confirmed that I was, in fact, sick. Gee, thanks. Actually, I knew it's all he'd say, but I went to make sure I didn't have strep. My temp was a little higher than I thought, so I'm glad I went in for that reason as well. Now I can turn myself back in to that paranoid idiot who checks her temperature every 30 minutes because I'm so terrified of missing it jumping over the 100 mark. So far we're hanging in the low 99's, so hopefully that will be the end of it. I probably should be sitting on the couch right now, but honestly other than this stupid dagger sticking out of my neck, I feel decent, so couch sitting is boring. Maybe I could grade those papers... (see previous posting... oh, and to my former students who I NEVER would have done that to, don't worry, they're cutesy little drawings that the kids already got completion points for, and trust me, these kids aren't sweating it)
Carpe diem. - Trela

No News Is Good News!

So much for New Year's Resolutions! I can't believe how much LESS time I have to do anything with two little people running around (and all of you with more than one child are saying, "yes, Trela, we told you that..."). Blogging has fallen to the bottom of the list, right behind laundry and that pile of papers I collected in mid-December and have yet to grade, but still dutifully drag home each and every night in the faint hope that I might have an hour to sit and read. Yeah, right.

I began my third round of chemo on Wednesday. Again, no problems, and my nurse reassured me that at this point even if my veins totally freaked out on us, they'd work through it without making me get a port. Yippie! So far the veins are holding their own, and pushing lots of water the two days before treatment has been helping. It was just nice to know that this close to the end they'd find other solutions if the need arose. As of right now I have only 5 treatments left. I'm beginning to be a little fearful of the end of treatment-- a common cancer patient's fear, I understand. Mentally I feel like the chemo is battling any problems still around in my body, so I'm "safe." Now I'm nervous for the time ahead with no chemo backing me up. Of course I'm still hopeful and optimistic, but I don't refer to myself as "worst case scenario girl" for no reason. A great friend sent me a bracelet that reminds me to "expect great things" and that thought makes me smile when I see it on my wrist throughout the day.

My hair actually looks better than Cavanaugh's! Her baby fine stuff is still longer than mine, but my do is much thicker. So far it looks pretty straight, we'll see if that holds. Another two months or so and I'll be able to look like I got a significant haircut! My students are increasingly curious. I freaked out my loudest most obnoxious class by scooting my wig on my head -- brought them to a standstill and I taught a rather calm lesson from that point on. Not sure how that factors into the classroom management piece... regardless they've been much better the last week or so, perhaps in fear I'll do it again. My homeroom has seen a peek of my less-bald head, and it just causes questions, but I figure those are all teachable moments so we take little breaks from math in the morning and talk about it. I absolutely ADORE my homeroom this year, so it's definitely worth the time.

Anyway, that's about what I have time for -- Kile is watching "Babar" and Cavanaugh is convinced she doesn't need a nap right now. Eric's gone into the clinic to deal with a Saturday morning patient emergency. Time to go grade papers. Ha!

Carpe diem - Trela

Happy 2007!

New Year’s Resolution – Post to the blog more often.

New Year’s Resolution – Quit making New Year’s Resolutions that I won’t live up to.

So far 2007 is progressing very well for the Rottinghaus clan. Eric’s practice(s) are continually busy, my teaching is going reasonably well, Kile is usually charming, and Cavanaugh is, well, Cavanaugh. Medically (the entire reason for this blog) my chemo treatments are continuing to go well, and although the neuropathy has moved into my right foot as well, it’s really just the three littlest toes on each foot so I’m not having any problems. They seem to simply be tingly as opposed to numb, so that’s also a good thing! After my second to most recent dose I felt really out of it, even fell asleep on the way home, so they reduced my Benadryl and that made a huge difference. Last week I ate lunch, talked to Eric on the way home, and would have probably gone into work for my 1:30 meeting if he hadn’t accidentally dashed off to work with both sets of car keys in his pocket. Now if only I could find a way to avoid the thermostat changes, though vitamin E seems to be helping. Gosh, can’t wait to go through this again in 25 years!

Anyway, really not much else going on with us. We spent New Year’s Eve at a comedian (who used to be a counselor… there’s a “hmmm” for you!) who had a totally brilliant thought – so much so that I dug in my purse to write it down, though it turns out it’s practically engraved in my brain and writing it was pointless. People keep asking me how I can be so upbeat through this whole thing, and other than the whole optimism thing which I think is necessary, this guy filled in the rest of my answer: “You can’t worry when you’re laughing. It’s like crying and eating ice cream at the same time.”

Enjoy some ice cream, who cares if it’s January?

Carpe diem. - Trela

The Hallway is Green

My first week of work went well overall. I feel caught up on most things in my classroom (only a few papers to grade tonight!), and I'm pretty sure I've gotten all of the first names of my students down cold. I hope I don't meet them outside of my room anytime soon, but in the room, in their seats, I'm good.

After the Jesup tree-lighting on Friday evening (if you didn't hear Kile tell Santa over the loudspeaker that he wants Lighting McQueen for Christmas, you're one of very few who did not) my energy level took a little dip when I put Cavanaugh to bed. She kept squeaking in her typical diva-like "how dare you leave me alone" way, so I put my jams on with her and lay down on our bed...next thing I knew it was 3 am and I'd already had nearly seven hours of sleep. Clearly the energy came back, however, since Saturday was a flurry of Christmas shopping, cleaning, laundry (in fairness, Mom did the laundry and I watched), organizing, and yes, I painted the hallway green, something Eric noticed when he came home from Des Moines at about 2am. Fortunately he didn't touch it because he would have found it still a bit tacky since I finished at a bit before 1.

I'm feeling good again today, enjoying reading on my new porch (which starts my brain on another tangent... that's below), catching up with my parents, and only experiencing minor tingling in my toes (a side effect of my chemo). Hopefully next week will go as well and the tingling won't progress much more!

Ok, tangent -- I can't keep calling my new porch "the new porch." It's totally enclosed, has heat, lots of windows and is approximately 4 feet wide by 25 feet long. I'm taking suggestions for new names. I've already rejected sunroom because, face it, it's a glorified hallway, glorious though it is (it was 85 in there this afternoon with the sun!). Currently it is also housing our Christmas tree and my book which I'm now going to get back to...

Carpe diem. - Trela

Hi ho, hi ho!

WOW! I'm sitting at MY desk at WORK!!! My first day went overwhelmingly fantastic, and amazingly enough I'm not even that tired yet. Ok, a couple of snags on the way... left my lunch at home in my cute little Superman lunch bag... I can practically taste my red beans and rice that I will now have to throw away. Then there was the uncomfortable moment before I had class to explain to the kids why they can't hug me... imagine 15 rather exhuberant 8th graders running to you with arms outstretched, and then little sad faces as I told them to get the heck away from me with their snotty noses (ok, I was slightly nicer)... I'm overusing my elipses here, sorry.... Then there was my fabulous 5th period (formerly known as the class in which I count down the minutes until the purgatory ends) who actually applauded me when I walked into the room. Veteran teacher that I am, I wasn't swayed (though momentarily touched), and my suspicions were confirmed when one of my darlings wished I was back in the hospital when I told him he needed to be in his assigned seat (you know, the seat he begged me not to move him from when I change seats on Thursday, that seat). I LOVE MIDDLE SCHOOL!

Anyway, there were a few comments that I wasn't blogging enough, so there you go folks, an update!

Hope you're all well!
: )
Carpe diem - Trela

Look at Me! I'm Typing!

It's 5:41. I finished chemo at 3:30 this afternoon, and yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sitting totally erect at the computer, typing at a reasonable speed, and even using (mostly) proper grammar and syntax. The new drug I'm on is, thus far, much easier to tolerate. They give me Benadryl prior to administering the chemo so I was slightly fuzzy for a few hours (personally I think it's just another ploy by the nursing staff so I don't try to drive myself anywhere). I have zero medications to take before my next treatment next week, so that's a minor relief. Setting my alarm for every 4, 8, 12, 16 hours after chemo was getting a bit old.

Other than that, things are continuing to be calm and peaceful around here. Oh, wait, that's because the kids are at the in-laws. Smirk. If all continues to go well I'll be heading to work on Monday to resume the helm. And apparently I'll be starting nautical school... chemo brain is sometimes a riot! (I mistakenly referred to the hospital as the hotel today while driving by... that was before treatment started.)

Hope Thanksgiving was a happy time to be with family and friends, ours definitely was.

Carpe diem. - Trela

44% Completed

Or something like that... the good news is I'm reportedly done with the 2 nastiest drugs I'll have to take. The week after Thanksgiving I'm scheduled to begin on the last drug of my chemo regimen, and that will take me until the first week of March. Unlike the once every three week schedule I've been on I'll transition to going once a week for three weeks, then a week off for just over three months. The "good" news is that my doctor thinks I'll be able to work again after I get adjusted to the new drug, so I'm really hoping to go back to work a couple of weeks before Christmas. While I've completely enjoyed the rest time and extra time with my kids, Cabin Fever is totally beginning to set in. The frequent visits from my parents have helped, but I'm really missing seeing my friends at work more regularly. This new drug is supposed to be gentler on my bone marrow, so I don't have to be quite so much the girl in the plastic bubble.

My most recent treatment went well, we ended up reducing my drugs by another 25% (math majors, you can figure that out) but they assured me there were actually still some meds in the IV. I caught Eric's cold overnight between treatments, but they allowed me some Tylenol and I think we've beaten that already. Hopefully it hit while I still had some white cells. I had my booster shot yesterday so I'm all muscle achy today, but it's not bad... interesting that this is the third time I've had the shot, yet this is the first time the accompanying paperwork told me to avoid large crowds after it. Hmmmm. Good thing I already had a brain in my head!

On the non medical front everything is going well for us. Eric's practices are keeping him busy (he's been going to bed before 11 which is unheard of!) and the kids are doing great. Cavanaugh is living up to her diva reputation and absolutely refuses to bend at the hip in order to sit on the floor. We know she CAN sit but if she catches on that's what you want her to do it's all over. Kile is finally starting to feel better after his encounter with hand foot and mouth and seems not to want to come home at all (the kids stay at Grammie and Papa's place during my treatments and the day after). At least we know he's comfortable in his surroundings.

I've now filled almost an entire drawer with cards from all of you. Amazingly enough they keep on coming! Just looking at it when I'm feeling lonely really helps, so thanks!

Carpe diem - Trela

Holiday Fun

Yikes, a little behind in our blog! Here's the kiddos on Halloween night pre-trick or treating. Kile went as Max from Where the Wild Things Are, Cavanauh was our own little jack o'lantern, and our friend Kennady was a little monster. The kids were able to dress up twice, once for our annual Pumpkin Carving Party Saturday night, and then again on the 31st.

Beyond all of that activity, it's been a busy couple of weeks highlighted by a visit from my brother, Ian, my sister, Cara, her boyfriend, Andrew and my parents. Can we say "family pictures?" Unfortunately other than for Ian, all of them had their week capped off with the same stomach bug that got me re-incarcerated on the 7th floor of Mercy Hospital for three days before their visit. Stupid white cells AGAIN!!! It's just wrong when nurses and techs walk into your hospital room and say, "don't I know you?" Sigh.

Only one more two day session of the "nasty" drugs this upcoming Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm not sure how long of a break I'll have before starting on the next (and hopefully last) drug which will take me into late February. It's supposed to be slightly kinder and gentler, though I'll be treated more frequently, basically once a week with a week off once a month. I'm sure somewhere in there we'll do a CT scan which I'm totally dreading, but I'm not sure when. We'll also likely consult with Mayo about the radiation issue one more time -- at this point we're probably not going to pursue it since there's no evidence it will help at all and we're concerned about the integrity of my skin and the tissue expander. My oncologist as well as the oncologist at Mayo are in support of that decision which is primarily based on the fact that Sloan Kettering said they wouldn't do radiation in my case. Since they're the expert I think we'll likely go with them!

Anyway, enough medical talk. I'm feeling well most of the time, but I do get a bit tired by about 9pm. Basically I feel like I've been teaching all day but I haven't been! I have one or two higher energy days a week, but most of the time it feels like after school on a Friday afternoon after a full week. One of the chemo side effects seems to be a complete inability to nap so I've just been sitting down a lot catching up on movies or reading. It's terrible, really. Smirk.

Carpe diem - Trela

Sad News

We learned this morning that our nephew, Garrett, passed away sometime last night. He would have been six months old next week, just a day younger than our Cavanaugh.

When you're going through something like cancer treatment it's pretty easy to become very focused only on yourself instead of on the outside world. What a tragic reminder that the rest of the world moves on no matter what personal struggles one is dealing with.

Our hearts go out to my brother-in-law Dean and his wife Meg as they cope with every parent's worst nightmare.

Carpe diem - Trela

3 down, 1 to go!

Well, it's the day after treatment and I've been up since 8:30, have already eaten breakfast, returned a phone call, and checked my email. I feel every so slightly out of it, but this is MILES ahead of the last two treatments afterwhich I spent the first day totally unconscious. Only one more set of this nasty bugger and then we move on to the reportedly kinder, gentler drugs.

After my adventure in the hospital the doctors decided to cut my dose by a full 30%, and I'm definitely feeling the difference. As long as it still does its job, I think we're good to go. I'm focusing on a day of relaxation, movie watching, and lying on various surfaces around the house. So much better than the last time! I can actually pick up the remote! All will be well until approximately 7:30 central time when the Cardinals take to the field... if they don't win I may be using this blog to either 1. sell Eric to the highest bidder or 2. find a new place to live.

- Carpe Diem, Trela

Round 3

Well, a 30% reduction in chemo dose seems to be a lot easier on the cute blonde. She is still feeling pretty tired and groggy, but overall she's feeling much better than after the previous two sessions.

The nurses at Oncology Associates told her that her priviledges had been revoked after she drove to Chris and Leisa's house. Trela, now the "bad girl" at the clinic is not allowed to be in possession of car keys while undergoing chemo. Like the bar drunk at closing time her protests that "I'm fine to drive... really." will not be accepted. Luckily there is no shortage of designated drivers for her.

About a week from now will be the low point for her blood counts, so we'll hope that she can avoid IV antibiotics and/or a hospital stay this time. We'll keep you posted.

Meg Riney stopped by for the afternoon yesterday and kept Trela company. From what Meg told me today, Loopy isn't just a classic childrens story book.

Other than that things here are going well, Kile and Cavanaugh are having a good time at Grammie's and things at work for me are getting accomplished.

Until next time...

The Girl in the Plastic Bubble

Oh, for Pete's sake people, I'm FINE!!! A fact I kept trying to convince the hospital staff of until at 4:05 today my doctor walked in and quite simply asked if I was ready to go home. I'm sure it wasn't a hallucination when at that precise moment the hospital loudspeaker suddenly broke into the Hallelujah chorus... ok, so it didn't, but if my life were a movie it would have been highly appropriate.

I'm pretty tired (since I've done all of that sitting around over the last five days) and my arm where the IV lived for nearly all five of those days is a bit sore, but honestly, I'm feeling pretty darn good. In fact, I really never felt that badly. I think this one we caught at the perfect time, though clearly to avoid it completely would have been better. The biggest annoyance today was having to wait almost two hours for my discharge papers and the nurse INSISTING I ride in a wheelchair to leave (even though I had seen other patients leaving on their own two feet, and even though I tried to convince her I wasn't lying when I said I'd walked a mile yesterday and half a mile today). Could be a lot worse, but isn't, a fact I remind myself of frequently.

So I'm all set to enjoy my vacation, I mean sick leave, encourage my little platelets to keep multiplying and bide time until Kile can come home. Thanks for all of the positive thoughts, messages, and prayers. They continue to get me through.

Carpe diem - Trela

Incubating a virus

Well, it looks like Trela's go round with the bacteria is over, (squashed the bugs) but Kile has been having a rough go of it with hand foot and mouth disease. Since this is (of course) a very contagious disease, and we're not sure if Trela has had it, Kile is going to live with grammy for the next few days if Trela gets to come home.

Sounds like she may be able to come home in the next day or two, as long has her blood counts hold and her vitals stay normal. She's feeling much better and even walked a mile (literally) in laps around the ward yesterday. She was very happy to see the Cardinals beat the Padres, (ok, maybe I was a little more pleased than she) and had a pretty good day yesterday.

Other than that, things continue to be very busy around here and I'm sure they will slow down sometime by 2008.

ERic

UPDATE: As I was signing my name Trela called and she made bail. Sounds like she'll be coming home today after all.

ERic

Human Petrie Dish

The last few days have been interesting to say the least. After her scheduled bloodwork came back on Wednesday and her white count(WBC) was at 0.2 (we were shooting for a minimum of 2 but 4-10ish is normal) one of the nurses called, asked how Trela was doing, and as if on cue, her temperature began to rise. Just like last time (when the lowest WBC reading was .6) we headed to CR for some IV antibiotics. This time, however, they decided to keep her overnight for observation, as her heart rate, and BP weren't quite right either.

One thing leads to another, and next thing you know, she's in the hospital until at least monday and the cultures they took of her blood started to look like that loaf of bread which has been sitting on the counter for a few months too long. While the don't know exactly which bug it is just yet, and the first round of drugs MAY have taken care of it, they are keeping her till Monday.

Meanwhile, she's gotten a blood transfusion, bunches of meds, and the promise that the next round of chemo will have a reduced dosage so that we don't get to do this all over agian in 3 weeks. On the bright side, we are about halfway through this first course, and the Taxol that comes next is supposed to be less severe.

So, Mom has been taking care of Kile and Cavanaugh, and I've been getting adjusted regularly from sleeping on the "cot" in Trela's Room.

Carpe Diem

Recovery From Round Two

In this instance lack of posts simply indicates lack of brain power, not any actual new illness (although I have learned to navigate my house quite well despite raging black circles that plague any sudden movements for the first few days after treatment). I'm planning on getting back to work on Thursday, quite a long break this time, but Eric took one look at me when he got home this evening and called the substitute teacher line. It annoyed me, but he's right... if I can't hold my head erect there's probably no real chance I'd be able to maintain classroom management. Hopefully Thursday.

I don't think chemo itself was rougher this time (though they did add a couple of shots at the end of the sessions to boost random cells in my body) I've decided that coming into a treatment after my previous week's malady probably caused my ultimate demise. And, of course, Trela tried to be tough girl and wean herself off of any and all but the required medication a full three days before I did the same last time. Dumb Trela. Regardless, a temporary setback, and I hope to be back to full power before too long. (At least, I hope that's what my labs indicate!)

Thanks for the cookies, dinners, gift cards and greeting cards that continue to rush in. They are most appreciated!
Carpe diem - Trela